a poem

[reaonsog]

i havent thought of a title for it yet

He is born again.
Wrought from the streams of life.
Purged by fire, shaped by ice.
Under the twisted lines,
Pursued by wasted time.
Lost in his own world.
Slowly dying all alone.
Small joys live,
and quickly die.
He'll reach his end.
And yet,
He is born again.

just thought id get some thoughts on it

[cogs]

i like it... the critiques are: leave out the first line, as it's repeated in the last... in 'Slowly dying all alone/Small joys live,/and quickly die.', tighten it up and leave only one sentiment of dying... let the title be what the poem is talking about.
this part interested me: Pursued by wasted time./Lost in his own world. this could really be a nice poem.

[NisreenS]

"Small joys live/ ans quickly die" that's very sad, it a painful line: all of us have experienced loss of joyful moments, persons, etc. Thank you for this nice poem.