Need "love" advice.

[livelaughlove]

Exactly what the title says.

I'm 18. And I need help. I'm tired of watching my best friends have boyfriends and coaching them through their love issues when in reality... I've never officially had a boyfriend. It's just never been the right time, or the right person. I consider myself a normal person; well, perhaps a bit more timid than most girls but not overly so, at least I don't think so. There are certainly girls out there who are waaaay more gorgeous than me but I believe it's more than just the physical... everybody needs to be seen for their individual qualities. And I just need to hear what other people have to say about it. I do know, though, that I'm not a partier; I don't drink or smoke or do any of that nasty stuff and it seems like that limits me some because parties are apparently the "it" place... whatever...

Here are my past "almost's" - just to get an idea of where I am right now... any and ALL advice would be greatly appreciated and taken into consideration... I am ready to make some changes here..

Boy #1: Hung out with him for a few weeks in the summer. He was a camp counselor at my barn (I ride horses) and I had the biggest crush on him. He was adorable and charming... a huge flirt though and after he got tired of me he just moved onto my friends... I never really thought far enough ahead to hope things would work out between us, but I did really, really like him. But, I was young and didn't really know how to handle the situation so it just kind of faded..

Boy #2: Met him through one of my good friends, she was dating his best friend and they thought it would be cute if we hooked up and went on double dates with them... well that night that I met him, I don't know why but physically we just hit it off.. aka a lot of ca-noodling - but nothing even remotely sexual happened. I knew it wouldn't work out from the beginning because he was a bit of a bum in school... I never even really liked him, I guess I just let myself go for a few hours... which was a bit exciting and I learned something from it.

Boy #3: We worked together. I liked him from the first day; it started with physical attraction and then just built from there. He was so sweet to me and I just kind of melted. After a few weeks though, I got kind of impatient and talked to him... he liked me too... but told me that he couldn't date me because I wasn't a Christian. Talk about a low blow. We tried to remain friends after that and we "hung out" but it being with him after that was just kind of painful, knowing that I liked him immensely but it would never work. It's been about a year and we are still friends, and we talk because we really were close (that was the closest I've come to a boyfriend) but of course that hurt.

Boy #4: He was in my Spanish class and we kind of hit it off. We were physically attracted, had the same interests (he didn't like to party either) so we exchanged numbers and planned to hang out sometime... I waited for him to call me.. and he never did. Once the semester ended, I saw that he was back with his ex-girlfriend.

Boy #5: He doesn't even count really but one day, we met by a crosswalk and definitely hit it off. We shared so many things in common and walked to our classes (I'm in college by now) together that day and we just could not stop talking to each other. I was fascinated by him. He lived in the same dorm complex so I saw him at the cafeteria sometimes and we'd chat some. One day he asked if he could join me for breakfast and I said sure. We talked again for a while and he asked me about parties and I told him I didn't really like party that much. Ever since then, the most we've said is "hey" and when I go for a "how are you?" he runs. What the heck? Did it all just depend on my answer to that one question? Like I said, he didn't really count... it just mystified me a bit...



If you've made it this far..... I thank you SO much for reading. I really look foward to hearing what you have to say. Please don't tell me that "partying is the only way" because I'm not doing it. I do go to "clean" parties, I am very social and LOVE to be with my friends... but the party scene, the "going out" scene.. is not for me.

What do I do? Should I change up my tactics? Try being bold? The most important thing to me is just being myself...

Anyway.. I've written enough. It's your turn!

[Silas Thorne]

Go with Boy 6, the one you haven't met yet. :) Join sports and activity clubs, do what you enjoy, and meet other people who like the things you do.

[aBIGsheep]

Relationships aren't all they're cracked up to be. Hey, she feels soft in my arms, but that cuddly feeling only lasts a few weeks before I want to strangle the person.

Don't plan a wedding without a groom.

[Zee.]

Ouch, baa baa

... i hope someone got that.


Ahem, i got to the bit where you said you weren't gorgeous ( i bet you actually are ) - i haven't had a chance to look at you but i'll tell you something.

Looks, in my book, mean zilch, i mean when it comes to dating the opposite sex, i do not care. Its all about the charisma.
Guys with charisma, great personalities, confidence - sets my world on fire :D



But considering the fact you're not looking to date me, that point was irrelevant..

[librarius_qui]

I always remember a girl, in Portugal ... She wasn't pretty, but she followed me everywhere. That felt good.

Men like girls who follow them. In everything. Some men like parties. Some have religious restrictions. Be open. Try it. You won't be alone, after all. If they see you're following them, they'll look after you, take care of you. Even if it doesn't end up in a relationship ...

And make friends. What's the purpose of life? To get a boyfriend? No way! Make friends. Be with them. Follow the guy you like most, until where you may. Learn from each situation. Don't be afraid of parties or religions ... Unless you have a religion yourself ... (Then you should search for a guy who has the same as you ...)

Live a good life. Find out more about yourself. What do you like to do? (don't bother answering me ...) Do you rellerskate?, go to the beach?, collect butterflies? ... Skydiving? Live, girl, enjoy life. Travel, meet new places. Spend a time in ... say ... Peru, Brasil (Rio de Janeiro, haha!), Paris, London at the worse (in case you can't speak another language, or doen't want to ...)

Live.

And, wherever you go, whatever you do, if you find a guy, follow him. But be always open not to be corresponded. It happens as well.

[Zee.]

i dunno about following..
when someone follows me that's a sure sign that person has a bolt loose..

but i'm taking your comment literally.

[librarius_qui]

i dunno about following..
when someone follows me that's a sure sign that person has a bolt loose..

but i'm taking your comment literally.

Well ... please, don't follow a stranger in the streets!, please!

[Zee.]

hahaha.. ahh, you got it.

[aBIGsheep]

Dude, knowing you have control over someone, like if they're following you, is an ego-trip. But it's really not all that fufilling. It's pretty creepy, actually.

[Silas Thorne]

Every breath you take, every move you make, I'll be watching you. :)

[Joreads]

Every breath you take, every move you make, I'll be watching you. :)

You are a real song person aren't you:lol:

[aBIGsheep]

Every breath you take, every move you make, I'll be watching you. :)

I ****IN LOVE THIS GAME

All night long I'll hunt for you
Let me show you what I mean

[Silas Thorne]

And make friends. What's the purpose of life? To get a boyfriend? No way! Make friends. Be with them. Follow the guy you like most, until where you may. Learn from each situation. Don't be afraid of parties or religions ... Unless you have a religion yourself ... (Then you should search for a guy who has the same as you ...)

Live a good life. Find out more about yourself. What do you like to do? (don't bother answering me ...) Do you rellerskate?, go to the beach?, collect butterflies? ... Skydiving? Live, girl, enjoy life. Travel, meet new places. Spend a time in ... say ... Peru, Brasil (Rio de Janeiro, haha!), Paris, London at the worse (in case you can't speak another language, or doen't want to ...)

Live.



I think most of this part is good advice though (apart from the following part). Live. Don't care too much about meeting people, just have fun. And no stalking.
;)

[Zee.]

I ****IN LOVE THIS GAME

All night long I'll hunt for you
Let me show you what I mean

Reminds me of this book i found at borders about really creepy songs.
Listed around 100 of them.

[Remarkable]

Hi!

It's weird that you brought this up because I've been having the same thoughts over and over again for a long time.I still do:)...But since giving advice to others is much easier than following it yourself,well,here I go.

You see,men at this age have clichees about girls.For example,I have this friend that is not beautiful,maybe cute,but she has that look that requires protection,that makes males feel manly and powerful.It is,after all,a question of symbols.It is true that if you go to parties and get out a lot your chances are much high,but look at me,that doesn't work for me now.And then,you can't find someone you might like at
THAT kind of party because boys there are out to just have fun and play.

Sometimes I wonder(and many support me at this)if men are actually afraid of women who do something,who are someone.Now,I'm too young and too unwise to claim any of these,but I,as no doubtly you too,like to read,speak,make a point,give an idea,create an idea and all this.Probably boys at this age still want just a fun time.

I would tell you not to worry.You are in college now and there you will find out that sixth time is the charm(or seventh,eighth,ninth,tenth,it doesn't matter).Eventually,there will be someone that appreciates you for who you are.I often wondered if all good men are taken.In the end,I don't think they are;I think they just aren't good men yet:p...

[Zee.]

Men aren't fish. It'll happen when it happens.

[Dori]

Men aren't fish.

:lol: And yet you call me fishy...

[*Classic*Charm*]

I often wondered if all good men are taken.In the end,I don't think they are;I think they just aren't good men yet:p...

That is exactly right. Well said, Remarkable!

[Dori]

That is exactly right. Well said, Remarkable!

Au contraire! I'm a good man. :D

[Remarkable]

That is exactly right. Well said, Remarkable!

Hehe,thank you!

Dori,does that mean you are not taken:p?...

[Zee.]

haha, someone's making their move.

[aBIGsheep]

haha, someone's making their move.

Awww someone beat me to the punch.

[LostPrincess13]

LoL! My, my, I guess this was what Coelho meant by "All love stories are the same"...:) Familiar story... It is quite frustrating seeing the people around you have their happy endings and you're just a spectator... this may prompt one to make drastic changes or something in order not to be left out... but let me share with you a line from Will and Grace where Will tries to talk some sense into Grace when Grace decides to get married for marriage's sake (Grace was turning 40 or 41): "Remember that movie when the guy and girl keep missing out on each other, never meeting and stuff? Then suddenly when the girl is about to board the plane and never come back, the guy shows up and they looked into each others eyes and know they're meant for each other. Remember what you told me Gracey? You said, you also want your story to be like that. Well, your just in the middle of that story. You haven't reached YOUR airport yet..." hehe... just a rough paraphrasing...:D but what Will's trying to say is, it's worth the wait... we should enjoy life, fulfill our personal destinies, do what we do best... and we'll just meet the right person along the way...:)
In the end, we'll all have our happy-ever-afters...;)

[Remarkable]

haha, someone's making their move.

:p...

[Dori]

Hehe,thank you!

Dori,does that mean you are not taken:p?...

That is correct. :D

[Zee.]

17, and oh so free.

[Dori]

17, and oh so free.

Indeed, and I probably will be for a while, unfortunately.

[Zee.]

That's okay Dori :]

[Dori]

That's okay Dori :]

I suppose...

(I think by now the thread has officially been hijacked, haha.)

[Zee.]

Mhm it has.

Well, you ain't the only solo flyer
plenty of fishies swimming with you Dori.

Excuse me while I go hang myself for my deranged head and lame comments.

[Dori]

Mhm it has.

Well, you ain't the only solo flyer
plenty of fishies swimming with you Dori.

Excuse me while I go hang myself for my deranged head and lame comments.

:lol: Don't hang yourself; I find lame comments and the like to be hilarious (trust me, my art teacher makes lamer comments than that).

I'd divulge some of my problems, but I don't want to completely take over the thread. :D

[Joreads]

:lol: Don't hang yourself; I find lame comments and the like to be hilarious (trust me, my art teacher makes lamer comments than that).

I'd divulge some of my problems, but I don't want to completely take over the thread. :D

Oh poor Dori. You are funny my friend.

[SleepyWitch]

I always remember a girl, in Portugal ... She wasn't pretty, but she followed me everywhere. That felt good.

Men like girls who follow them. In everything. Some men like parties. Some have religious restrictions. Be open. Try it. You won't be alone, after all. If they see you're following them, they'll look after you, take care of you. Even if it doesn't end up in a relationship ...

And make friends. What's the purpose of life? To get a boyfriend? No way! Make friends. Be with them. Follow the guy you like most, until where you may. Learn from each situation. Don't be afraid of parties or religions ... Unless you have a religion yourself ... (Then you should search for a guy who has the same as you ...)

Live a good life. Find out more about yourself. What do you like to do? (don't bother answering me ...) Do you rellerskate?, go to the beach?, collect butterflies? ... Skydiving? Live, girl, enjoy life. Travel, meet new places. Spend a time in ... say ... Peru, Brasil (Rio de Janeiro, haha!), Paris, London at the worse (in case you can't speak another language, or doen't want to ...)

Live.

And, wherever you go, whatever you do, if you find a guy, follow him. But be always open not to be corresponded. It happens as well.

:cold:what kind of macho crap is this? (I mean the first part; the second one is OK). well, livelaughlove, I didn't quite get what you said about not being a Christian: are you a staunch atheist or do you just happen not to be a member of any religion and don't care about religion a lot? Or are you Jewish, Muslim, Buddhist etc? At any rate, librarius, in her case it was the guy who turned her down because she was not religious. It wasn't her who was intolerant or something. So I guess she would have had to convert/ get baptized in order to please the guy. That is total rubbish. I don't think you should join his religion just to please him. I mean, maybe if you loved him so much you wanted to marry him and he wanted to marry you, too, you could consider it. But what's the point in pretending to believe in a particular religion for a guy's sake if you just don't?
I know some girls who don't have any personality of their own. They adapt to their boyfriends, so when boyfriend number 1 likes opera, they like opera, when boyfriend number two likes Lord of the Rings, they like Lord of the Rings etc. One should think that all this adapting makes it easy for them to please guys, but it doesn't. They end up with a string of ex-boyfriends and not the long-term relationship they were hoping for.
Of course, relationships involve a lot of compromises, but that does not mean over-adapting to the extent where you have no personality of your own left!
Besides, I've found that the opposite is true. If you are a bit aloof and pretend not to be interested, that gives guys a turn on. I think it unleashes their "hunting instincts" or something. I don't mean you should play hard to get or act b!tchy or whatever. It's just most guys don't really care for girls that appear to be desperate. Guys (even the shy geeky ones) want to conquer. I know it's archaic and not very feminist, but that's the way it is. Besides, if you run after a guy and defer to him in everything, he'll never take you seriously. You've got to make it clear to him from the start who the boss is (i.e.: you). Besides, if there's one thing you can be sure of it's this: guys are desperate. It doesn't matter whether they are a pimply computer geek or Brad Pitt, all men are desperate. They'll start a relationship with any girl who has the right number of legs, arms, noses, ears, eyes etc and says as much as "Hello, how are you?" to them. So, it's not you who is desperate because she can't find a boyfriend. It's those guys who are desperate and should be grateful if you deign to spend some time with them! :D
Seriously, I know it sounds cruel and arrogant, but if you adopt only half of this way of thinking and stick to it, it will make you a lot more confident. Guys like confidence. You don't even need to be pretty (I'm sure you are pretty!) or very interesting. As long as you are confident, you'll have guys queuing up to date you. The other thing guys want is the feeling that they are wanted. So don't overdo the playing-hard-to-get thing. After they've got you, you need to show your true feelings and make them feel wanted (e.g. tell them how cute they are, what you like about them etc...)

[aBIGsheep]

Wow. Walls of text and two completely different stances on a relationship.

Here how 'bout this? What NOT to do:
Completely disregard whoever you're going for and wait for something to happen. If you want something, you should go out and get it. Don't just wait for something to walk up to you and smack you in the face. The only reason nothing has happened is because you haven't made it happen.

O' and don't completely disregard your significant other's emotions. It's not a fun feeling.

[SleepyWitch]

Wow. Walls of text and two completely different stances on a relationship.

Here how 'bout this? What NOT to do:
Completely disregard whoever you're going for and wait for something to happen. If you want something, you should go out and get it. Don't just wait for something to walk up to you and smack you in the face. The only reason nothing has happened is because you haven't made it happen.

O' and don't completely disregard your significant other's emotions. It's not a fun feeling.
I totally agree wit hyou, Sheep. Despite what I said above, it's not a good idea to just wait for things to happen. If you like someone, give them a sign, encourage them etc., but don't overdo it.

[aBIGsheep]

I sound like a self-help book.
D:

[Pensive]

:cold:what kind of macho crap is this? (I mean the first part; the second one is OK). well, livelaughlove, I didn't quite get what you said about not being a Christian: are you a staunch atheist or do you just happen not to be a member of any religion and don't care about religion a lot? Or are you Jewish, Muslim, Buddhist etc? At any rate, librarius, in her case it was the guy who turned her down because she was not religious. It wasn't her who was intolerant or something. So I guess she would have had to convert/ get baptized in order to please the guy. That is total rubbish. I don't think you should join his religion just to please him. I mean, maybe if you loved him so much you wanted to marry him and he wanted to marry you, too, you could consider it. But what's the point in pretending to believe in a particular religion for a guy's sake if you just don't?
I know some girls who don't have any personality of their own. They adapt to their boyfriends, so when boyfriend number 1 likes opera, they like opera, when boyfriend number two likes Lord of the Rings, they like Lord of the Rings etc. One should think that all this adapting makes it easy for them to please guys, but it doesn't. They end up with a string of ex-boyfriends and not the long-term relationship they were hoping for.
Of course, relationships involve a lot of compromises, but that does not mean over-adapting to the extent where you have no personality of your own left!
Besides, I've found that the opposite is true. If you are a bit aloof and pretend not to be interested, that gives guys a turn on. I think it unleashes their "hunting instincts" or something. I don't mean you should play hard to get or act b!tchy or whatever. It's just most guys don't really care for girls that appear to be desperate. Guys (even the shy geeky ones) want to conquer. I know it's archaic and not very feminist, but that's the way it is. Besides, if you run after a guy and defer to him in everything, he'll never take you seriously. You've got to make it clear to him from the start who the boss is (i.e.: you). Besides, if there's one thing you can be sure of it's this: guys are desperate. It doesn't matter whether they are a pimply computer geek or Brad Pitt, all men are desperate. They'll start a relationship with any girl who has the right number of legs, arms, noses, ears, eyes etc and says as much as "Hello, how are you?" to them. So, it's not you who is desperate because she can't find a boyfriend. It's those guys who are desperate and should be grateful if you deign to spend some time with them! :D
Seriously, I know it sounds cruel and arrogant, but if you adopt only half of this way of thinking and stick to it, it will make you a lot more confident. Guys like confidence. You don't even need to be pretty (I'm sure you are pretty!) or very interesting. As long as you are confident, you'll have guys queuing up to date you. The other thing guys want is the feeling that they are wanted. So don't overdo the playing-hard-to-get thing. After they've got you, you need to show your true feelings and make them feel wanted (e.g. tell them how cute they are, what you like about them etc...)

Yes.

Being able to keep one's individuality is the most important thing. And healthy too I believe. One should choose a person with whom you can be yourself, not a pretender, not anybody else.

And more so I don't think women should be confident because the guys want them to be (in fact I have seen guys liking those women the most who are ready to say yes-sir to everything they say or maybe it's the cultural difference or whatever) but one should be confident for the sake of being confident. Because it's required in many other fields in your life too. :)

[SleepyWitch]

And more so I don't think women should be confident because the guys want them to be (in fact I have seen guys liking those women the most who are ready to say yes-sir to everything they say or maybe it's the cultural difference or whatever) but one should be confident for the sake of being confident. Because it's required in many other fields in your life too. :)
:thumbs_up yep, you're absolutely right there :)

[librarius_qui]

and should be grateful if you deign to spend some time with them!

THAT'S following, or what I meant by saying so.


The other thing guys want is the feeling that they are wanted. So don't overdo the playing-hard-to-get thing.

That too, is following.

*

I don't want to conquer. I want doors to open. Maybe I want to be conquered ... (By a "Trojan-horse girl" ... She'll certainly have to be intelligent, smart, at least!) -- fact is, I fall, like Troy, & aw me!: I fall. Men fall. Men fall because of women. (I'm definitely NOT COMPLAINING!!! :D )

And I completely don't believe in a person converting himself because of a woman (or vice-versa), but, you know?: it happened with me. (I converted myself with a little help of loving a girl. She was very smart, so as to not to tell me about her religion BEFORE I was inlove! ... How naïve I've been, haha!) So, even THIS happens. But conversion talks aren't the focus here.

Point is: I like girls with personallity. Hence my advice: to live, find out what she likes.

The second step is simple: she likes someone?; follow. It isn't that hard is it?


Libri~
:crash:

[*Classic*Charm*]

I'll throw this out there: Stop Looking!!

That point where you feel like you really want and need and are ready for a relationship that just doesn't seem to be appearing is a really crappy place to be, because that's when you start looking for a relationship. And that is always bad news, because you start seeing things that aren't there and analyzing conversations and interactions for hidden meanings and all sorts of crazy things. And then you start acting on these little tidbits that you may or may not have imagined and then you find out that that person is not who you thought or something that seemed like a good idea wasn't, etc, etc. Then you're left with a pile of regrets, and/or embarrassments, and you're likely back where you started, only more discouraged than you started.

I always find that when I'm looking, I always get disappointed.

Obviously this is easier said than done, what with the hormones and all, but the best thing to do is completely immerse yourself in the things that make you happy and surround yourself with the people that make you happy, and others that are in the same boat, because once you are completely content, that is when you are the most attractive, and you'll realize that that is also what makes others attractive. And that is when you will run into something or someone you never saw coming, and then it will be right. And whether that right something or someone becomes a relationship, or whatever, it will have been for the right reasons and under the right circumstances.

Relationships should never be formed out of angst, or boredom, or loneliness, or desperation (not that I am saying that you are any of these:)). They will find ways of coming about when you have made yourself right and happy. And in my mind, that's the only way.

[Remarkable]

Indeed, and I probably will be for a while, unfortunately.

You poor thing...

[SleepyWitch]

I'll throw this out there: Stop Looking!!

That point where you feel like you really want and need and are ready for a relationship that just doesn't seem to be appearing is a really crappy place to be, because that's when you start looking for a relationship. And that is always bad news, because you start seeing things that aren't there and analyzing conversations and interactions for hidden meanings and all sorts of crazy things. And then you start acting on these little tidbits that you may or may not have imagined and then you find out that that person is not who you thought or something that seemed like a good idea wasn't, etc, etc. Then you're left with a pile of regrets, and/or embarrassments, and you're likely back where you started, only more discouraged than you started.


I'll second that. I think that's what I meant about being desperate and running after people.
I don't think I was ever "looking", but I always had more admirers than I could handle... even though that usually meant I had one admirer and didn't want any :D I'm not talking about hundreds of guys that lined up to date me :)
My friend who was "looking" always ended up like ClassicCharm said.

[kandaurov]

Classic Charm's post is a perfect diagnosis of an unfortunately most common malaise. As a solution for it I support aBIGsheep's suggestion.

[librarius_qui]

Classic Charm's post is a perfect diagnosis of an unfortunately most common malaise. As a solution for it I support aBIGsheep's suggestion.

I think a girl's happier when she doesn't worry about looking for, as "Classic Charm" suggests.

Men are more likely to be happy when they do something. Even so, in my case, I've given up, because of similar reasons as "Cl-Ch" mentioned, that works out for men, as well.

I'm just around with coming out a sudden passion, and I think it's great to learn to fall in love (always), and, if it doesn't work out, to be able to get out o' this, without getting so much attention to expectations you created around someone. And make friends, good friends!

Easy to say. Not easy to do. Good things in life aren't necessarily easy ...


Libri~
:crash:

[SleepyWitch]

Classic Charm's post is a perfect diagnosis of an unfortunately most common malaise. As a solution for it I support aBIGsheep's suggestion.

hehe, now it's getting interesting. this could be the first fight about love on litnet :D normally we only argue about politics :D
anyway, kandaurov, could you elaborate a bit? Do you think Charm's attitude is cynical or something? Are you making a plea for people to up the ante and take the first step?

[kandaurov]

Oh no, I think C*C* was dead on: a distinction must be drawn, as there's actual love, and then there's projection, d.h. (;)) attributing qualities to the perceived loved one when they're not necessarily there. He who seeks shall find, even if he has to distort reality in order to achieve it. Since being in love when you're looking for love can be a misleading state, the worst thing that you could do is keep silent about it and agonise over a love which may not be there at all, which maybe not even you actually feel. Like the wise Radiohead say, "just because you feel it doesn't mean it's there". Now the best thing to do in such case is to be open about it. If you're rejected, you're rejected, you'lll bounce back eventually. If you're not, then within a few weeks you should be able to tell whether it was love or just idealised lust.

Granted, easier said than done. But then again, "nobody said it was easy".

[TheInsomniac]

BE BOLD! DO SOME CRAZY ****! hope that it pays off.

[Zee.]

Run up and kick the person you like in the back of the knees.

[TheInsomniac]

Run up and kick the person you like in the back of the knees.

Not quite like that, although i wouldn't mind myself a kick from lima. ^_^

[SleepyWitch]

Oh no, I think C*C* was dead on: a distinction must be drawn, as there's actual love, and then there's projection, d.h. (;)) attributing qualities to the perceived loved one when they're not necessarily there. He who seeks shall find, even if he has to distort reality in order to achieve it. Since being in love when you're looking for love can be a misleading state, the worst thing that you could do is keep silent about it and agonise over a love which may not be there at all, which maybe not even you actually feel. Like the wise Radiohead say, "just because you feel it doesn't mean it's there". Now the best thing to do in such case is to be open about it. If you're rejected, you're rejected, you'lll bounce back eventually. If you're not, then within a few weeks you should be able to tell whether it was love or just idealised lust.

Granted, easier said than done. But then again, "nobody said it was easy".
ah, OK. I misunderstood your post then. I think I overlooked the "diagnosis" bit :)


If you're not, then within a few weeks you should be able to tell whether it was love or just idealised lust.
hehe, one should think so. but the funny thing about people like this friend of mine is that they can normally not tell and their relationships only break up after a year or two. And even then they don't think about it but blame their ex for being mean to them. After that they start "looking" again and the same thing happens all over. With lots of people it isn't even idealized lust. It's more like they've got this inventory of roles (like boyfriend, best friend, this and that) that they expect someone to fill and they'll grab whoever doesn't run fast enough and try to force them into that role.

[librarius_qui]

Run up and kick the person you like in the back of the knees.

Why!, This sounds like a great idea!

Doesn't always work out however, I'm afraid :lol:

:D


things ...)]


Libri*