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View Full Version : i need help what to wright next pls



mcdangerda1
01-04-2009, 01:33 PM
Every one said you should never go back but I could not resist going back because of the betrayal of my parents , I knew I knew I shouldn’t of ran away from home now what am I going to do to redeem my self, its almost been 2 weeks on the street walking past people looking like a lunatic .All you teenagers sitting at home on your games consoles enjoying your self having a laugh, how does it feel to be in my situation to be on your own, with no direction home, like a rolling stone?, that is If you ran away but, you probably won’t be in my situation. Where ever I go I don’t feel good inside me especially when I’m only just a teenager barely past the years where life should be a comforting cushion. I should be tucked up at home where it’s nice and warm and the fresh chapatti and hot curry prepared by my loving mum waiting for me to gobble on the table however, I’m outside where the icy winds are harsh and unforgiving. I should have obeyed my mother, by leaving the gang culture and getting on with my education, by giving up drug dealing, giving up carrying a knife and by preventing the police coming to my house to nick me. My mum use to always say every year, thousands of teenagers die not by cancer, car
accidents, and other diseases, but by their own hand. These people make the choice that leads to a situation which may not me resolved and may lead to suicidal however; I always use to think when I was an infant I would never create suicide and why are people killing them self, but today’s victim may be me because my life is all stained and I don’t know what to do. It was almost 5pm as I was walking the streets.

mcdangerda1
01-04-2009, 01:35 PM
i need help on what to wright next i cant think what to wright. I would be great if some one helps me. This is the intro of my creative writing coursework which i have to hand in tomorow.

mystery_spell
01-04-2009, 02:50 PM
First of all, you are using the incorrect word in the topic of this thread. The verb is "to write" not "to wright." :)

Secondly, if this is only the introduction, I'm not sure how long it needs to be. If it makes sense with the rest of what you have--if you have anything else written yet--, then I would say that it may already be a sufficient introduction to whatever else you are writing. However, I would advise that you continue to develop the plot and the main character, making sure to keep in mind that you should have some sort of climax and purpose in the story.

Also, I would recommend that you re-read and maybe have a peer read what you wrote for grammatical and syntactical errors.

Zee.
01-05-2009, 05:31 AM
With the exception of smoking, i dont see how cancer can be a result of one's "own hand"

AuntShecky
01-05-2009, 02:00 PM
"wright" = "a maker" as in "millwright" or "playwright"
"write" = to put down words on paper or a similar medium
"right" = "correct" which is what your spelling isn't.

JacobF
01-05-2009, 06:56 PM
"how does it feel to be in my situation to be on your own, with no direction home, like a rolling stone?" I cringed when I read this and I couldn't continue reading.

Take mystery's advice and get a someone to help you re-work it. Your writing needs direction, because as it stands it reads like a ramble.

[D]
01-05-2009, 09:33 PM
you've got some great ideas you are on the right track. I like how you have a good basis on the fact that you are alone and are unsure of the next step and put that together into some sort of story. You definitely need work on structure, spelling, etc. I see that this is useless for this assignment but in the future try to take all these points and incorporate them into your next piece. Hope to read more from you in the future:)