(one of uncertain title)

[librarius_qui]

Is every woman helpless
or have I been deceived?
Again?
Why can't man be helpless
sometimes? ...
Why can't man be the victim?
Why can't I?
Why can't I be an artist?
Why couldn't I?
Is every artist reckless?
Why am I so reckless
/ on a chess board
/ against death,
/ or her angels ... the artists~
Why can't I defend myself
on the chess board
helpless
as a chess king, or
as an archer
on the top of a taken tower ...
The tower was taken, o poet,
the northern tower was taken.
We're doomed!
It isn't that bad ... It's only a game.
No. This one isn't. This was
was love.~

*

[blp]

Trust me, men can be helpless too at times.

I like the repetitions.

[duskmuse]

Hello
I have to admit I read the first line and was a tiny bit upset. But that might be because I'm a woman and I wasn't sure where it was going. After awhile, I really like it and I can appriciate your argument. Don't worry, you can be helpless. I liked all the metaphors and repetiion. It really made the poem especially the whole thing about the chess game. I really liked it. Is something wrong? I hope everything works out for you.
Thanks for sharing and good luck with writing
-Dusk Muse

[Delta40]

Hmmm. all roads lead to china I think. I like it. You attempt to digress from the initial path, yet inevitably, that is where you end. Everything else seems secondary. I get the sense your passion has leaked through, which is amazing because on the surface, it's just a few scribbled lines....but no, it's definitely there.

Very nice indeed. thanks.

[librarius_qui]

Funny, I .. had never read the comments.
I liked to read them.

You're ... sensitive, Delta. You got it without any doubt. (It can look like obvious, but you have faith on your judgement on poetry, and this was interesting to notice.)

Thanks you all! :)

[breathtest]

I think your imagery here is slightly reminiscent of the beat poets, which i love. This is a fantastic poem.

[qimissung]

Yeah, love the imagery about the chess game-and that lead back to the idea that you were helpless, after all. Well done.