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Delta40
01-02-2009, 05:41 PM
I’m the person that cheers you up at the bus stop when you’re melting under the heat of concrete and steel grating. Our eyes will briefly meet, I grin as I take that as me cue to speak the magic words, ‘Hot enough for ya?’
It’s a great way to get people talking. Every time I say it, they smile like they know it’s a line from a corny joke but I tell ya, it’s true that it opens the door to conversation. Next thing you know, I’m having a great little pow-wow with all kinds. You and me have probably laughed together. At some point, every walk of life comes through this terminal. It’s a fact. Old ladies, fat men, spotty faced teenagers, mothers and folks like me – alcoholics. I dribble on a bit but I learnt somewhere the weather is a good place to start and even though people don’t always thank me, the bus comes quicker than you know it once I open me gob and say those words.

It’s not easy though. Sometimes, I’ve got to look into the sky and consider the air currents. You know, highs and lows and all that before I say anything. I’m a sensitive person and it’s my business to make people everywhere happy for as long a time as possible. Oh sure, I know that people at the bus stop are all different but life is a deck of cards and we all have to cope with the hand we’re dealt. That’s why I always say ‘coochie-coo’ to babies, coz mothers have to have someone who will appreciate them don’t they? Poor things crying in the night. I don’t get too close to them or nothing coz I’ve been trying to get rid of the mud that sticks to me for years now and I go a bit soft around rosy cheeked babies.

Teenage kids think I’m a hoot and relax when they see me. They call me the Weatherman and I reckon I know more about their mischief than their parents. I give them a laugh to try to make them feel better about themselves coz I understand. When I was a teenager, I had all the worries of the world on me plate, see.

I like talking to men in suits too. When I speak, they look at their fancy watches coz they have all the latest weather info on the screen. Me, I rely on the sky for survival. I always ask people at the bus stop where they are going, and what they will be doing. Most of them will tell me and I think that’s important to be interested you know? I love hearing some of the stuff because it isn’t always what you think people are doing and I don’t judge them or anything coz that’s not my job. People wouldn’t talk to me if I judged them would they? I seen what happens when you do. I get alot of cigarettes from people waiting at the bus stop. I’m no scrounger mind. It’s just that I have a real friendly face. Once I mention the weather, people really do open up and quite often I find a cigarette pointing my way. It’s good to know people, no matter where they are from, still care about other people. You wouldn’t believe how friendly people can be from all walks of life if you just give them half a chance.

When the weather turns grey – I can tell because first, the clothes I wear don’t always keep me warm enough, plus I keep me eyes on the clouds, checking the currents to see what changes are in the air. I have kept me eyes in the sky for years now so I know what I’m talking about. Even at night, I know what’s going on in the sky coz I learned a long time ago it would give me comfort and help me to survive. Anyhow, when it gets chilly, I change what I say to, ‘Cold enough for ya?’
When it rains, I take a swig, clear me throat and boom, “Wet enough for ya?’
That line takes me back. My best mate Dave used to say it to us when we were on duty without cover and it was pissing down with rain. Boy, was he a cheeky bugger! We drew straws on who would belt him the next time he said it. Today, those words still work like a treat and lift the spirits of the downhearted at the sheltered bus stop. Me bottle of plonk keeps me insides warm but really, people do that too. You could say that I feed off the company of others coz I guess I’ve always been a sociable person and it shows on me face when I grin me grin at strangers. They can tell I reckon, when they catch sight of me sitting there and grin right back.

I laugh a lot at the bus stop coz it’s a funny old world. The posters they put up each week tell me that. Lots of colour and fancy stuff; here today and gone tomorrow. The place is moving so fast and sometimes I feel sorry for the way people get uptight and stressed. They look angry, worried, tired. That ain’t me. I want to cheer and let people know that they can slow down, relax, stop and smell the roses. In my mind, the world keeps moving no matter what. The card I drew conscripted me to Vietnam when I was nineteen. I tell you, there are places in the world where the sun shines brilliantly under torrential rain and heavy fire. I didn’t know that before. My mates are all gone and so is Chen. Yep, I reckon I know a bit about weather but everyone gets hit by Highs and Lows and I understand that too. Someone once told me to keep me head in the clouds. There I would find my dreams and a means to survive. Here I am.

So folks have me to cheer them up and remind them about their day and where they are going and most of all, tell them about the weather. Perhaps when they know me, they give more thought to decisions because of me. I’m happy to put a smile on their face because people are different and deal with their pressure systems sometimes as if it was the only thing that mattered in the world. It isn’t, but I reckon part of my job in life is to make them feel that it is. I don’t move between bus stops much, just between people, through their calms and storms. For every bastard whose path I’m caught in, a hundred bathe me with a glint of their sunshine through a smile, a kind word, a sorry tear, a hug, a dollar, a flyer, a meal, a bottle or a simple thank you. This is because when I open me mouth and say, ‘Hot enough for ya?’ there are still eyes who can see the man that I really am.

An Australian who is proud to serve his country.

PabloQ
01-03-2009, 01:26 PM
Delta,
I really like the story. I like the use of the weather as a metaphor for people's lives in relationship to the narrator. My primary critique is the last sentence. If it is part of the story, I'd recommend you lose it. That message can be delivered in other ways throughout the story. The voice is already clearly not American English, but there are ways to let the reader know that the narrator is Australian by using other colloquialisms. For instance, the question could be, "Hot enough for ya, mate?" Gives you a chance to establish the Australian aspect early on.
Secondly, the service in Vietnam can be interlaced in the narrative without explicitly bringing it out. Give us a glimpse of how the Weatherman learned to observe those currents before his life on the streets. The rustle of leaves in the jungle canopy, the difference between thunder and artillery fire, whatever. I would keep the part about all of his friend and Chen having gone before him to death.
What I particularly like about the story is the way you tell the story of the narrator by letting him tell his story about making people happy. He knows his boundaries and the reaction that people with which people reward him is significant. Americans, for example, typically do not respond to character's such as this in the ways you describe. The story, then, servers as a tender reminder on how a human being such as this person should be treated and not just the ones with the personality this narrator seems to possess.
I really enjoyed. Thank you for sharing.

AuntShecky
01-15-2009, 02:53 PM
Good idea for a story, despite the fact that there have been a couple of movies about weathermen in the last couple of years.

The "voice" of the meteorologist speaking sounds pretty good; however, the weatherman's narration is just that -- a speech about himself. How about a couple of incidents or episodes "showing" us what the weatherman does?