some crappy poems

[Bakiryu]

criticize all you want :)

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i

Meet me upon rivers, I'll be ghostly
still waiting for you right where i promised
the sycamore grove where you once held me
now i'm the wind, scattered among the treetops
Not fully of Earth or even Eden.

i remember you once said "i hope for heaven"
but darling the sky is so much sweeter
here among the blackbirds there's no pretense
and aren't birds freer than angels?

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II

Your hope tastes like rain but so much sweeter
head buried in your hands and almost crying
I never knew you, not really
but your masquerade was enchanting

No better Harlequin has ever been
walking these halls, i can't remember
a better actor or actress even
you never stuck to just one gender

now you come saying that you love me
but could you ever love or are you pretending?
I never knew with you, not really
but isn't part of love not knowing?

I can see my reflection in your eyes telling
'Not a better Harlequin has ever been
walking these halls, i can't remenber
a better actor or actress really
she never stuck to just one gender'

So if we finally end up together
with only words and heart to bind us
how should we know who we are even
if all this time we've been hiding?

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III

The truth I never claimed
but the mockingbirds have a way with gossip
the sit on wayward windows and whisper
"did you see that?" "yes i saw her"

i hid my thoughts inside my poems
but they twisted them out me
alliteration? you're feeling!
should have stuck with assonance

But i never was really,
that great with my cryptography
they all knew that these messages
in the rain were from me.

Now i can caress you with sweet lines
write you a poem unpronounceable
you could never understand my words
but that's all right, if you love me.

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iv

the waves draw back and fling
these pebbles upon the shore
i picked one round and smooth
it reminded me of hope.

Where does she come from, the mountains?
this wayward wandering daughter
she has seen so much and heard such
is she telling her story?

I've been a gypsy in little towns
but they could never understand my accent
i speak in twisted words
know me, understand me

I've been many skins and laments
mothers and children in the battlements
but where is she from, this wayward daughter?
wandering, just wandering?

now the waves come forth and pour
all these feelings inside me
at last I've come to the shore
if you search for me, you may find me

a round stone ever rolling
and maybe sometimes drowning
but that's half the fun of it
for a wayward wondering daughter.

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v

aha! this is my vengeance
full and flamboyant and oh-so-tempting
You've leaned to far and now our lips
are almost touching and surrendering

Run and hold yourself back
don't you ever dare touch me
I'll keep myself within my walls
i know they cannot love me

I've run among the roses but the thorns
have dug trenches in my skin
now my soul is leaking out
what did you want of me?

I've run the whirlwinds and tossed my sails
I'm running away from me
Come after winter, when i'll be brave
and leave the shore, free to roam.

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VI

close your eyes my child
this world is not for you
i know you'll suffer
yet i brought you here

don't blame me please
when they're taunting
their words so shrill
their minds revolting

I'm sorry my child
I know I shouldn't have
birthed you to so much pain
you can never go back

to how things were
unformed and shapeless
a blur of ovum and plasma
don't hold it against me

for the world is beautiful
more beautiful than this pain
stretching forth from childhood to adolescence
Maybe you'll be one of the lucky ones
spared by beauty or courage

but remember when they taunt my child
when the words burn and you almost surrender
I did it because i love you so
please don't hold it against me.

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[Bakiryu]

i see, too bad to warrant criticism? is ok.

[Virgil]

Oh no Baki. Many are quite good. I think you overwhelmed people with so many all at once. Let talk about my favorite of the group:


Meet me upon rivers, I'll be ghostly
still waiting for you right where i promised
the sycamore grove where you once held me
now i'm the wind, scattered among the treetops
Not fully of Earth or even Eden.

i remember you once said "i hope for heaven"
but darling the sky is so much sweeter
here among the blackbirds there's no pretense
and aren't birds freer than angels?
That first stanza is so imaginative, and I'm intrigued by what you mean by "ghostly". I also hear the alliteration between "ghostly" and "grove." Not sure if you know what alliteration is. It's when the beginning sounds of words are the same. It's sort of like rhyme but for consonants. And the second stanza just feels so open and free in flight with the birds.

I enjoyed your poems. :)

[blp]

It's true. Not that they were bad, but that you posted too many at once. Why not just post one at a time? And maybe don't describe them as 'crappy' before people have even decided whether to look, especially when they're not.

They have an amazing musicality to them and the imagery's quite strong at times. I've looked at a few of your things before and I may be imagining things, but I think you've improved.

[kiz_paws]

I believe I responded to these selections in your Blog, Baki! :)

[Delta40]

Beautiful crap. I wish I had the gift to give eloquence to such crap as this. cheesy, romantic and insightful. You have reminded me that crap has a certain texture and quality which I often fail to appreciate.

Thanks for the pleasure.