AuntShecky
12-12-2008, 05:53 PM
A Visit from St. Nielsen
‘Twas a while before Christmas,
not the big day yet,
but it was already Yuletide
on your tee-vee set.
Staring at holiday shows
might cause strabismus.
You could watch the Dickens
out of his Carol for Christmas.
Like clones of Santa,
there’s more than one Scrooge:
even a girl Ebenezer
with lipstick and rouge,
George C. Scott, Disney toons,
Michael Caine and and Muppets too,
plus Bill Murray, Albert Finney,
Alastair Sim and Mr. Magoo,
and other curmudgeons
like the Grinch so unmerry,
voiced by the late Boris Karloff
or a live-action Jim Carrey.
In the season of wonder
you can’t ask for more
than two films of a miracle
on Street Thirty-four.
It’s a miracle young Ralphie
didn’t shoot himself to heaven
with his Red Ryder BB gun
going 24/7.
Jimmy Stewart as George Bailey
and Donna Reed as his wife
every year re-remind us
that “It’s a Wonderful Life.”
Sing of bells and sleigh rides
and the round Virgin yon –
but hold on for a minute -
let’s see what else is on:
On Linus, on Lucy,
on Pigpen, on Snoopy,
on Charlie Brown
with your tree so droopy,
On home-improved Tim Allen
in “The Santa Clause,”
On Nestor the donkey
with his production flaws,
On the rumpa-pum-pum
of the drummer boy,
on the umpteenth special
of some animated toy
which is hyped and piped
while sounding quite crass.
Commerce hit pay dirt
with Rankin and Bass.
Thanks to December shows
kids neither cry nor pout,
and thanks to repeats
Rudolph’s nose won’t go out.
Why waste a holiday special
when the shopping’s been done?
That why on Christmas Eve
you’ll hardly find one.
So sure as a soundstage
glistens with fake snow,
the networks return to
the Reality Show.
But I heard a CEO exclaim
with his remote all alight:
“Happy viewing to all,
and to all, a good night!”
‘Twas a while before Christmas,
not the big day yet,
but it was already Yuletide
on your tee-vee set.
Staring at holiday shows
might cause strabismus.
You could watch the Dickens
out of his Carol for Christmas.
Like clones of Santa,
there’s more than one Scrooge:
even a girl Ebenezer
with lipstick and rouge,
George C. Scott, Disney toons,
Michael Caine and and Muppets too,
plus Bill Murray, Albert Finney,
Alastair Sim and Mr. Magoo,
and other curmudgeons
like the Grinch so unmerry,
voiced by the late Boris Karloff
or a live-action Jim Carrey.
In the season of wonder
you can’t ask for more
than two films of a miracle
on Street Thirty-four.
It’s a miracle young Ralphie
didn’t shoot himself to heaven
with his Red Ryder BB gun
going 24/7.
Jimmy Stewart as George Bailey
and Donna Reed as his wife
every year re-remind us
that “It’s a Wonderful Life.”
Sing of bells and sleigh rides
and the round Virgin yon –
but hold on for a minute -
let’s see what else is on:
On Linus, on Lucy,
on Pigpen, on Snoopy,
on Charlie Brown
with your tree so droopy,
On home-improved Tim Allen
in “The Santa Clause,”
On Nestor the donkey
with his production flaws,
On the rumpa-pum-pum
of the drummer boy,
on the umpteenth special
of some animated toy
which is hyped and piped
while sounding quite crass.
Commerce hit pay dirt
with Rankin and Bass.
Thanks to December shows
kids neither cry nor pout,
and thanks to repeats
Rudolph’s nose won’t go out.
Why waste a holiday special
when the shopping’s been done?
That why on Christmas Eve
you’ll hardly find one.
So sure as a soundstage
glistens with fake snow,
the networks return to
the Reality Show.
But I heard a CEO exclaim
with his remote all alight:
“Happy viewing to all,
and to all, a good night!”