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Biggus
12-04-2008, 09:52 AM
MY CHRISTMAS WISH

Dear Santa Claus its that time once again
And not for the first time I have to complain
Last Christmas you once again failed miserably
In securing that one simple gift for me
Every Christmas I write and beg and plead
And I’ve been good, not perfect though I’ll concede
This is not the first complaint you’ve had from me
I’ve written since I was four and now I’m forty three
So once again I’m sending you my Christmas list
And ask you to fulfill my one and only wish
Please send me my own special red hot lover
Or at the very least my own significant other

YES THERE IS A SANTA CLAUS

If you want the great gift giver
To come on his sleigh and deliver
Then remember this simple rhyme
And recall it at Christmas time
“If in Santa you do not believe
Christmas gifts you will not receive”

CHRISTMAS CHILL

Enjoy your Christmas day in peace
Avoid any kind of quarrel or wrangle
Chill out, relax and enjoy the day
And don’t get your tinsel in a tangle

FULL OF THE CHRISTMAS SPIRIT

Come Christmas day
I will be full of Christmas spirit
Buck fizz with my breakfast
Is only the start of it
Then a sherry with the vicar
After the candles have been lit
And aperitif before lunch
Maybe Vodka or a Gin and it
Wine with every course
Brandy when the pudding is lit
Liqueur with coffee
Then more brandy as we sit
Then when the day is over
I whish shoe a ferry Hacky Fhrismit

PLASTIC CHRISTMAS

Now Dasher, Now, Dancer
Now Prancer and Vixen
On Comet, On Cupid
On Donner, On Blitzen
So the plastic Santa’s say
Down at the mall
But shoppers have a verse
That serves one and all
Now charge it, now defer it
No cash and No cheques
On store card, on visa
On MasterCard and A-mex

Biggus
12-15-2008, 09:51 AM
PREPARING THE BIRD

The best way to prepare
Your turkey this Christmas
Is to keep it simple
To minimize the fuss
To my way of thinking
The best method to apply
Is just be straight
And say “Turkey, you’re going to die”