what do you see?

[lucidnightmares]

it`s been a little tough getting back into poetry so i thought i`d write something before i went to sleep.
any opinions, comments or criticism is welcomed and encouraged.



it`s face is darkness
it`s body cold
it`s heart is aching
see and behold

what have we created?

a monster is nothing
but nothing itself
empty
scared

grotesque in nature
wondrous of soul
the monster we fear
yearns to be whole

memories are torturous
the edge of sorrow dulls with time
aching, throbbing, merciless pain
torment dwells in every shadow
all passion restrained

the monster we fear
cannot be seen
for there is nothing to see
inside ourself

[imthefoolonthehill]

it is dramatic. I am not sure I understand it, so I will speak in generalities rather than specifically about your poem. Images work best if they are set in the concrete. Symbolism works best if it is set in the concrete. The abstract is best communicated if it is set in the concrete. Poetic exposition upon a subject is very 1500's.

I enjoyed your poem, but I think I would enjoy it more if I understood it a bit better. Accessibility is a great attribute for a poem to have. Keep writing!

(and remember, you can give any critic the finger. it is your work. you decide how to do it)