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thegitksan
11-16-2008, 12:53 AM
Pub Goddesses

Scent of a sweet, warm woman
forever mingled with tomato tang
deepened by garlic, broadened by rosemary
sharpened by thyme.

Professional charm, leavened by
that amused twinkle, that ironic eye that says,
Yes old man, I see your wintry libido:
ashy sparks in a spent fire.
Tip me well and I'll stand a bit closer.

Immaculate limbs, heated back, taut belly.
Untouchable.
At least by one as old as me.

Vestal virgins march by, each bearing
sacred feast, sacred wines. Or just as often,
sacred silverware, destined to grace a fresh washed alter,
clean as an empty pew waiting for new worshippers.

Cup-bearers, pub goddesses, all divine,
and each warmed by the holy hearth fires.
Heavenly scented:
sweetness of woman
deepened by garlic, broadened by rosemary,
sharpened by thyme.

Dark Muse
11-16-2008, 05:03 PM
I love this. Great imagery, I love the use of the herbs, it envokes all of the senses and paints a rather lovely and amusing picture. This was quite enjoyable to read

thegitksan
11-17-2008, 02:07 AM
<smile> You got it in one! And thank you so much! A lovely and amusing picture was what I was aiming for.

I spend too many evenings sitting in restaurants and pubs whilst on the road for work. I wrote this one recently, while I was having a very nice dinner (not always possible while travelling). I noticed that the beautiful waitresses zooming by me all smelled beguilingly of sweat and spices.

Well. Having had a few glasses of lovely red wine in me after my dinner, the mixture of scents was a heady ambrosia. I realized I was lonely, paid my bill and went home to my motel room and watched re-runs of Star Trek.

The wonderful mix of scents, however, continues to return to me at odd moments during the day, usually when I least expect it. Another realization - I really love the way women smell, when they are a little bit sweaty, and have been handling food all day.

Such a heavenly smell, they all ought to be goddesses.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

New comment added on:

Ooookaaaay. I wrote out a very neat hand copy, tore it out of my notebook near the end of my on-the-road supper, prefaced the handover with an enthusiastic praise of the establishment, and then, full of trepidation, handed over a copy of this poem dedicated to all the pub goddesses in the place (so I would not scare any individual one).

And they all vanished into the kitchen to read it, where I heard roars of laughter and then everyone stayed there until I paid my bill and left. Shrieks of laughter at choice phrases, shouted repeat readings of individual lines, followed by more crowd hilarity.

It was humiliating, though I'm too old to be crushed by something like that.

I'm not going to show it to another waitress again. It's not worth the effort.

symphony
11-17-2008, 03:23 AM
The warmth in this, the color of the forum, all mingles into the spicy scents... and the name of the poem... I love it all.

Mr.K
11-17-2008, 08:03 PM
Yeah, this is good. I can feel the imagery - id like to read more from you.

Virgil
11-17-2008, 08:05 PM
Pub Goddesses

Scent of a sweet, warm woman
forever mingled with tomato tang
deepened by garlic, broadened by rosemary
sharpened by thyme.

Professional charm, leavened by
that amused twinkle, that ironic eye that says,
Yes old man, I see your wintry libido:
ashy sparks in a spent fire.
Tip me well and I'll stand a bit closer.

Immaculate limbs, heated back, taut belly.
Untouchable.
At least by one as old as me.

Vestal virgins march by, each bearing
sacred feast, sacred wines. Or just as often,
sacred silverware, destined to grace a fresh washed alter,
clean as an empty pew waiting for new worshippers.

Cup-bearers, pub goddesses, all divine,
and each warmed by the holy hearth fires.
Heavenly scented:
sweetness of woman
deepened by garlic, broadened by rosemary,
sharpened by thyme.

I bet you're a college student who hangs out in the local pub after school. :D I know how that is. ;)

eyemaker
11-18-2008, 12:22 AM
I agree with what DM said.. The imagery is emphatic and very nice! It captures a lot, and the way you play with words are quite enjoyable, as well as the syntax.:) Keep up the good work;)

thegitksan
11-18-2008, 12:42 AM
Thanks, all, for such warm and supportive comments.

~symphony, Mr K, thank you truly. I appreciate your words.

~Virgil, I'd love to be a college student again, but that was ages ago. I really am a lot older than most of the waitresses. I stand in wonder at how quickly time has passed. At a guess, I am possibly old enough to be your father.

~eyemaker, thanks - I intend to. I've little experience writing open verse; most of my training has been in form poetry. I'll work at doing more.

All for now, and thanks again.
Russ

Virgil
11-18-2008, 12:54 AM
~Virgil, I'd love to be a college student again, but that was ages ago. I really am a lot older than most of the waitresses. I stand in wonder at how quickly time has passed. At a guess, I am possibly old enough to be your father.


Well Russ, I'm no spring chicken myself. I guess it's possible you could be old enough to be my father, but I'm 46 (soon 47), so that would put you around 70 at the youngest. ;) Yeah I know how quickly time flies. :(

thegitksan
11-18-2008, 01:16 AM
What an odd word that is, contemporaneous... I'm 52, going on 53. At our age, we're nearly the same generation, perhaps 1/4 generation apart. No, I'm not old enough to be your father. And yet my college days were just a short time ago, when I consult my memory. I look into the mirror and see a stranger. Who is this middle aged man with the baggy cheeks and greying hair?

De nada. I'm very much in my prime, so much more so than I ever imagined was possible in my college days.

I'm finally enrolled, however, in a Master's Degree program in a local university. I'll be one of those really scary older chaps in the class who just knows too many things. It'll be great.

Virgil
11-18-2008, 09:13 AM
What an odd word that is, contemporaneous... I'm 52, going on 53. At our age, we're nearly the same generation, perhaps 1/4 generation apart. No, I'm not old enough to be your father. And yet my college days were just a short time ago, when I consult my memory. I look into the mirror and see a stranger. Who is this middle aged man with the baggy cheeks and greying hair?

De nada. I'm very much in my prime, so much more so than I ever imagined was possible in my college days.

I'm finally enrolled, however, in a Master's Degree program in a local university. I'll be one of those really scary older chaps in the class who just knows too many things. It'll be great.

Best of luck to you Russ on that master's degree. It is more fun to go to school when one is older.

ampoule
11-18-2008, 09:40 AM
If I were a waitress in a pub I would be in tears that someone noticed me at all, especially as 'scentsitively' as you. Lovely.

thegitksan
11-20-2008, 05:11 AM
If I were a waitress in a pub I would be in tears that someone noticed me at all, especially as 'scentsitively' as you. Lovely.

Thank you, you are a dear to say so. Just tried it (see addition to my intro way above) and got shot down most horribly. I laugh at it now, and did then too, but it was still badly embarrassing.

Loved your play on words in reply. Would that you were my waitress, even stand-in, for that awful evening.

Thanks, really appreciate your comments.