Let me know what you think

[hemingwayfarer]

I just kind of typed this out randomly - i guess it's a sort of channel of my feelings.
Please let me know what you think of this:

Lost


Lost - the feeling is gone
he rode away in the coach
before she she could say,
before the break of day,
before the sun kissed her lips,
before the rich man got his morning bread.

She said
"Stay."
Too Late - no more.
He's gone
with his money
and their dreams
lives gone up in smoke
no longer the queen of his heart
he used to say that
you know
but not anymore.

But she's better now
better
off without him.

[PrinceMyshkin]

before the rich man got his morning bread

was an intriguing provocative line. Some of the rest of it seems a bit lacking in energy.