Amylian
11-08-2008, 04:48 AM
Hey,
I am working on a Novel and I am trying to be original as possible. So I need to know what you guys think of it. Here is chapter one.....
Chapter One
Destiny is the conclusion of the cycle of life and the beginning of the era of death that scandalizes or so forth glorifies human being. In the end, it just drifts their yearnings of power underground where it belongs. However, flawless and endless as the time goes by: human also creates lives, flourishes the happy, green trees, honors their kings, and respects the superior powers. Their whole existence is just a repeated routine that they never get sick of.
Anu, the god of heaven, almost stifling with tedium, wondered around his godly chamber with red, sharp eyes that shined when he witnessed his surroundings. Set in the heart of the blue sky his chamber was. The walls with those exquisite carves of his name, the enormous statues , the banquet tables over richened with apples located in the center of the chamber, the huge doors decorated with two gigantic bull horns on the front and back of each of them , the ground that history of man was written were all ornamented with pure gold. There, in that very room of Anu, lay the river of salvation that only those who were predestined to visit heaven would drink of its water to pay their sins farewell. No god except for him who had the honor of building a golden room that he himself called The Golden Throne. The chamber of Anu truly had the delightful sensation of magnitude and decency.
Swabbing his white beard, Anu listened to the reflecting sound of the disturbing serenity that kept away what was great to behold. The sound of warring men down on earth; the cries of mothers and wives longing for their lost children and husbands; the stream of blood that relinquished the earth since the beginning of creation; many a thing had him enjoying his time as a god of heaven. He missed those sounds; it suffocated his isolation and boredom. He had, afterwards, regained a bottle of fine wine, which was offered to him in one of his temples in the Kingdom of Kobia, and started sipping himself some. Red was the color of that wine.
"The shadows of the clouds prevent my spectacular view," said Anu in rather discontented tone, drinking the red wine. "Be gone clouds and let the god of heaven sip the beauty of earth." The red wine that he poured over the clouds had conquered him. The clouds scattered over the down sky and wept.
The lofty mountains were all covered with torrential wine as well as the rivers and the wide seas that were plunged with the color of love. The land in the Northwest of the Kingdom of Kobia had rendered near the River of Life where Ki, the deity of the underworld, resided since the whole world existed. The Northwest region was an isolated area that no soul could reach or step a foot on. Out of darkness the red dew dropped from the dense trees and the birds flew away scared. In a moment of divine fury, the goddess of earth threw a pack of words on Anu. "Behave like a god Anu," Ki said, irritated. Those who were occupied with work froze and stopped, so the kings who were held silent and haunted by the fear of the anger of the gods. The dead as well trembled in awe in their graves.
"Greetings Ki," the drunken god welcomed the angry goddess.
"Anu," the wrathful deity replied, "Heaven knows no sins and yet you sin yourself."
"I disagree, Ki," shaking his head, Anu forced the words of his mind slowly, "for a true god is supposed to taste his own creation of knowledge of man. We, the gods, produced man and yet we disengage ourselves from him. We, the gods, shaped the sins and we punish all those who sinned."
"Ungrateful god, you are showering rain on me and you speak nuisance. I shall report you when we assemble."
"Heaven is such a nice place, but it feels lonely sometimes," still drinking the red wine, spoke Anu.
"We are the gods, remember this. Those who rebel against themselves will only fall in the depth of eternal nowhere. Even a god is no match for such a rebellion."
"In our blood flows immortality and it sickens me," in a tone filled with depression said Anu. "I see blue sky down my feet, I see my own creation and how happy and sad they become at time. How together they fight, how they love each others and hate as well. We produced creatures that have things we do not have or had. "
"We are perfect and aware you must be that we are to judge those who go against the rules and you are the one who make the judgment. Do you even realize how inconvenient it is to judge your own resilient rules and to go against it?"
"I say we are hypocrites. It is our own envy that we judge and it is their knowledge we create that we fear."
"This tongue of yours that speak the words of humans shall be cut of, and your unbearable rudeness I will speak of when the gods assemble in the Haven of Wisdom palace. And please command this rain of wine from falling at once."
"As you please, Ki," sarcastically replied Anu. After the sun had itself hidden beyond the marshes of dead space, the red rain stopped.
Regards,
Amylian
I am working on a Novel and I am trying to be original as possible. So I need to know what you guys think of it. Here is chapter one.....
Chapter One
Destiny is the conclusion of the cycle of life and the beginning of the era of death that scandalizes or so forth glorifies human being. In the end, it just drifts their yearnings of power underground where it belongs. However, flawless and endless as the time goes by: human also creates lives, flourishes the happy, green trees, honors their kings, and respects the superior powers. Their whole existence is just a repeated routine that they never get sick of.
Anu, the god of heaven, almost stifling with tedium, wondered around his godly chamber with red, sharp eyes that shined when he witnessed his surroundings. Set in the heart of the blue sky his chamber was. The walls with those exquisite carves of his name, the enormous statues , the banquet tables over richened with apples located in the center of the chamber, the huge doors decorated with two gigantic bull horns on the front and back of each of them , the ground that history of man was written were all ornamented with pure gold. There, in that very room of Anu, lay the river of salvation that only those who were predestined to visit heaven would drink of its water to pay their sins farewell. No god except for him who had the honor of building a golden room that he himself called The Golden Throne. The chamber of Anu truly had the delightful sensation of magnitude and decency.
Swabbing his white beard, Anu listened to the reflecting sound of the disturbing serenity that kept away what was great to behold. The sound of warring men down on earth; the cries of mothers and wives longing for their lost children and husbands; the stream of blood that relinquished the earth since the beginning of creation; many a thing had him enjoying his time as a god of heaven. He missed those sounds; it suffocated his isolation and boredom. He had, afterwards, regained a bottle of fine wine, which was offered to him in one of his temples in the Kingdom of Kobia, and started sipping himself some. Red was the color of that wine.
"The shadows of the clouds prevent my spectacular view," said Anu in rather discontented tone, drinking the red wine. "Be gone clouds and let the god of heaven sip the beauty of earth." The red wine that he poured over the clouds had conquered him. The clouds scattered over the down sky and wept.
The lofty mountains were all covered with torrential wine as well as the rivers and the wide seas that were plunged with the color of love. The land in the Northwest of the Kingdom of Kobia had rendered near the River of Life where Ki, the deity of the underworld, resided since the whole world existed. The Northwest region was an isolated area that no soul could reach or step a foot on. Out of darkness the red dew dropped from the dense trees and the birds flew away scared. In a moment of divine fury, the goddess of earth threw a pack of words on Anu. "Behave like a god Anu," Ki said, irritated. Those who were occupied with work froze and stopped, so the kings who were held silent and haunted by the fear of the anger of the gods. The dead as well trembled in awe in their graves.
"Greetings Ki," the drunken god welcomed the angry goddess.
"Anu," the wrathful deity replied, "Heaven knows no sins and yet you sin yourself."
"I disagree, Ki," shaking his head, Anu forced the words of his mind slowly, "for a true god is supposed to taste his own creation of knowledge of man. We, the gods, produced man and yet we disengage ourselves from him. We, the gods, shaped the sins and we punish all those who sinned."
"Ungrateful god, you are showering rain on me and you speak nuisance. I shall report you when we assemble."
"Heaven is such a nice place, but it feels lonely sometimes," still drinking the red wine, spoke Anu.
"We are the gods, remember this. Those who rebel against themselves will only fall in the depth of eternal nowhere. Even a god is no match for such a rebellion."
"In our blood flows immortality and it sickens me," in a tone filled with depression said Anu. "I see blue sky down my feet, I see my own creation and how happy and sad they become at time. How together they fight, how they love each others and hate as well. We produced creatures that have things we do not have or had. "
"We are perfect and aware you must be that we are to judge those who go against the rules and you are the one who make the judgment. Do you even realize how inconvenient it is to judge your own resilient rules and to go against it?"
"I say we are hypocrites. It is our own envy that we judge and it is their knowledge we create that we fear."
"This tongue of yours that speak the words of humans shall be cut of, and your unbearable rudeness I will speak of when the gods assemble in the Haven of Wisdom palace. And please command this rain of wine from falling at once."
"As you please, Ki," sarcastically replied Anu. After the sun had itself hidden beyond the marshes of dead space, the red rain stopped.
Regards,
Amylian