makemetalk
10-29-2008, 01:40 AM
hmm, i'm half a sleep and i wrote this just now. i figured i should show it... sorry for grammar mistakes. i need feedback. oh and by the way... it's about my boyfriend. the structure of the poem is wrong i know. i don't have any training what so ever. sorry xD
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I said to them I was in love, they gasped, they sighed, they rolled there eyes.
They asked me why? And that's when I became shy. I smiled, I blushed.
They asked me why?
«His foolishness flirts with my own,
his thoughtfulness wraps a protective arm around my anxiety.
His values twist into mines, his thoughts I idolize,
his temper balances with my pride.»
They hesitated, they stared...
«The honesty his green eyes walk with into mines,
the music his voice makes when he speaks,
the soft pressure of his skin on my own...
I could go on, I could try and try but never will you understand the times my feelings have in mind.»
____________________________________________
I said to them I was in love, they gasped, they sighed, they rolled there eyes.
They asked me why? And that's when I became shy. I smiled, I blushed.
They asked me why?
«His foolishness flirts with my own,
his thoughtfulness wraps a protective arm around my anxiety.
His values twist into mines, his thoughts I idolize,
his temper balances with my pride.»
They hesitated, they stared...
«The honesty his green eyes walk with into mines,
the music his voice makes when he speaks,
the soft pressure of his skin on my own...
I could go on, I could try and try but never will you understand the times my feelings have in mind.»