What Excuse Do You Use ?

[pussnboots]

Below is an article I read on the Most Ridiculous Excuses For Missing Work. What excuses have you used ?

The Most Ridiculous Excuses For Missing Work
Mon, 10/27/2008 - 4:00am by SavvySugar 514,025 Views - 128 comments

There are two main points that I took away from reading the results of a recent Careerbuilder survey: Some bosses actually drive by employees' homes when they've called in sick, and some people will say anything to get out of going to work. Both parties are guilty, but the boss might be doing more damage than the employee in this case.

Thirty-one percent of the employers surveyed said they follow up with employees who call in sick, some require doctor's notes, others check in by calling, and a creepy percentage drives by the employee's home. The employers reported actual excuses they've heard, and the most unusual responses are below. I try to give people the benefit of the doubt, but really, most of these are ridiculous. Which do you think is the worst?

Employee didn’t want to lose the parking space in front of his house.
Employee hit a turkey while riding a bike.
Employee said he had a heart attack early that morning, but that he was “all better now."
Employee donated too much blood.
Employee’s dog was stressed out after a family reunion.
Employee was kicked by a deer.
See six more excuses when you read more.

Employee contracted mono after kissing a mailroom intern at the company holiday party and suggested the company post some sort of notice to warn others who may have kissed him.
Employee swallowed too much mouthwash.
Employee’s wife burned all his clothes and he had nothing to wear to work.
Employee’s toe was injured when a soda can fell out of the refrigerator.
Employee was up all night because the police were investigating the death of someone discovered behind her house.
Employee’s psychic told her to stay home.

[BlueSkyGB]

"Employee’s wife burned all his clothes and he had nothing to wear to work."

Very nearly used this one, when I was going through a rather nasty divorce...:D.....
ex cleaned me out....clothes, Toilet paper, etc.......
showed up to work in the same clothes for a few days till chance for shopping..:lol:

[islandclimber]

hahahaha.. that is awesome... thanks for posting that. made me laugh...

my usual excuse for missing work was that I didn't sleep enough last night so I am too tired to work...

[pussnboots]

Since I posted the thread I might as well tell everyone some of the excuses I used in the past.
1 - pipe burst and flooded my basement. I used this in real cold weaather
2 - leak in roof after heavy rainfall
3 - something came up at last minute and I have to take care of it
4 - my dog is really sick
5 - lost electricity during the night and didn't realize the time. Actually what happened was my hair dryer died as I was drying my hair and I couldn't finish.

[Petrarch's Love]

:lol:Some of those are pretty funny. A couple are so improbable sounding I'm assuming they must be true. Who would ever think about making up a story that involved running over a turkey on a bike? I don't think I've ever made up an excuse to miss work, but then teaching and research allows me to pretty much make my own schedule anyway, so there's no real need.

I did however, have to figure out how not to burst out laughing in the middle of lecture recently when one of my students said he couldn't make it on time because he didn't own an i-phone (the alarm clock on his current phone doesn't function reliably). Apparently he plans to remedy this situation soon. I didn't disclose that I am currently somehow making it to class without the benefit of owning any cell phone at all (my old one broke and I'm waiting for the new one to come in the mail). I think the thought of life without cell phone might send someone of my student's generation into a panic. :rolleyes:

[Jozanny]

I wish I had a good excuse for why I am logged onto The Network right now, actually, and all I have is my indecision over whether to make dinner or do a diary page.

Writers...

[Shalot]

I told my boss that the reason I was late once was because the pipes froze and I couldn't take a shower. I was serious though. I absolutely couldn't go to work without taking a shower. I had worked out and had sweaty greasy hair and I stank. Of course, that didn't stop the lady who sat next to me from coming to work. She was really fat, and she always had the most horrible body odor and I wasn't going to be like her.

So, I guess mine wasn't an excuse although, I probably should have made something up a little more "normal" instead of going into great detail.

[Niamh]

I know i used the dodgy curry thing once but thats it( very hungover). I generally only call in sick if i am genuine.
On the other hand i've had some really odd ones my way.
"i cant come into work today as i have been called int oa meeting with my childs teacher." (it was midterm break and schools where shut"
"I have my period" is a very popular one.
Had one guy working with us once for the five months he was with us and a granny die at least eight times.
Another guy rang in recently to say that he couldnt come to work as he stayed in his girlfriends house the night before and forgot to get money to get to work that day....:confused:

[pussnboots]

Had one guy working with us once for the five months he was with us and a granny die at least eight times.


I would have called his bluff the third time

[andave_ya]

hahaha, thanks!

[Niamh]

I would have called his bluff the third time

I think one of the other supervisers of the night pack did. Then it just became i had a funeral in kerry (or somewhere far from dublin.) It came to the point that we found it entertaining. Working at night time was quite boring! :p

[Niamh]

I had to share this one.....
the other day in work we gat a call from one of the shops to say they needed a refund on a packet of skittles. A girl had come back after paying for them to say she wanted her money back bacause she was Muslim??? :confused: It left both myself and Elaine a bit confused........

[SpurYourImagina]

Those are all really good excuses. I just got a new job working for DHL International and I really enjoy it so I probably won't be using them anytime soon.
I got suspended from school one day and instead of telling my parents who stayed home at the time, I got up, got dressed, and begin walkin to school. Before I arrived, I turned off the main route to walk along the bayou. I had lots of fun that day catching turtles and exploring. If I had stayed home my parents would have made me clean house all day.

[grace86]

I was late to work one day because I couldn't get out of my parking spot at my apartment complex.

No joke, some wonderful people decided to trim the trees and block all the cars under the overhang. I think that's one of the strangest ones I have used.

I've told my bosses I couldn't come in because I had an appointment, when really I just had a lunch date with a rather conversational pastor.

:) I took a two hour lunch break one time. I told my bosses I had gone home for lunch and fell asleep. It doesn't take two hours to eat a peanut butter and jelly sandwich unless you're eating them with someone really special. Somehow, I just couldn't leave his house!

[SpurYourImagina]

I took a two hour lunch break one time. I told my bosses I had gone home for lunch and fell asleep. It doesn't take two hours to eat a peanut butter and jelly sandwich unless you're eating them with someone really special. Somehow, I just couldn't leave his house!
I actually have fallen asleep on a lunch break. I had stayed up very late the night before playing counter-strike.

At my old job, I drove a company van. I would go in to work in the morning and then leave to go on my route and go straight to my apartment. After doing this for a couple of weeks my boss called me into his office.
"Did you know the director of Human Resources lives in your apartment complex?", he said.
"Nope.", I replied.
"Yep, she lives right below you. She says you've been taking the mornings off and going to your apartment instead of running your route."
"Nope. I've been calling all of my clients from the apartment in the morning to see if they need any product. I'm saving the company gas money and also offering my apartment as a company facility."
He laughed.

I didn't lose my job but I couldn't take the mornings off anymore. Meh... I miss that job.

[Taliesin]

This thread reminds me of a joke from 19th century or so, I think.
Little Juku is absent from school one day. Next day the teacher asks him why he was absent. Juku says that since their family is poor, he has only one pair of trousers and his mother washed them yesterday so he couldn't come. The teacher finds the excuse acceptable.
Some days later, Juku is again absent. The teacher asks him next day why he was absent this day.
Juku says: "Well, sir, I was just coming to school but then I passed your house and saw that on the line your trousers were drying..."

[ClaesGefvenberg]

Employee hit a turkey while riding a bike.I have actually done that... Well, not a turkey, but a pheasant, and believe me: They are quite big enough to send you A over T when you hit them. Both the bird and I escaped without injury though, and I got to work in time.

Employee was kicked by a deer.I have had that happen to me as well, when I tried to get a deer loose from a fence it was tangled in. It gave me a really vicious kick as a parting gift but I got away with a bruised shin, and again, this was not used as an excuse for missing work.

I have several further animal encounters in stock.

/Claes