Alarm Clock Shock Treatment

[PhilLFM]

Alarm clock shock treatment
coffee shot coffee shot coffee shot
shower and cotton
minty fresh gums glued eyes and shoes
toast smoke backpack
into the wild

Blizzard of zombies vacuumed breath
searching for ticket nowhere to be found
onto the horse then off in a flash
stood on platform
confused
clutching ticket ink fades
shoulders brushed turn around they are gone

on campus
hippies migrants goths punks academics trends flash coats cigarettes
girls girls girls brains breasts power walk
lecture
pub
home
trainland zombies girls girls girls
sleep
alarm clock shock treatment
sleep

routine

regime

life?

[TheFifthElement]

Interesting poem, I like its speed and energy.

I think you could maybe tighten it some more, maybe 'stood on platform' could be reworded, as the pace slackens there, perhaps unnecessarily so?

Loved these lines:


shower and cotton
minty fresh gums glued eyes and shoes
toast smoke backpack


hippies migrants goths punks academics trends flash coats cigarettes
girls girls girls brains breasts power walk
lecture

I know this feeling ;)

searching for ticket nowhere to be found

[PhilLFM]

Hey thanks alot for the kind words means alot. I will definitely take what you said into consideration for the edit