Locked

[ampoule]

Locked

You say I won't let you in,
So why don't you just sit there
on the porch and be quiet.
Enjoy the swing,
Listen to the birds,
Watch the yellow leaves fall to the ground,
Feel the sun's warmth, streaming,
Bask in it now before the cold chill you will feel
from asking too much.
Look here now,
I have swept the steps,
The teacart is laden with sweet tea and cakes,
The windows are open,
I know you have been straining your neck
to see beyond the lacy curtains
that move with the breeze,
How startled you will be to see me standing there,
Naked, holding the key.
Do not force the door but be patient,
I will bring it to you.

ampoule, October Twentieth, TwoThousandEight

[PrinceMyshkin]

Oh, geez! This is lovely! "I will bring it to you" is simultaneously erotic, of course, but at the same time just such an honest, loving promise!

[ampoule]

You are right on. It is a nice promise, isn't it? Thank you, Prince.

[firefangled]

The power and the beauty of this for me is the play between psychological and the physical from the first line, the woman inside the house and the house itself, the latter being an excellent metaphor for the former.

The images are just wonderful, the leaves, the steps, the teacart, and finally the lace curtains that seem to be like clothing belonging to the house and the woman.

I love the way the poem moves so that in the end the key to one is the key to the other.

Great poem.

[PhilLFM]

this is great, very sexy, really enjoy the imagery to felt like i was in the garden lol

[ampoule]

Firefangled...you know how I love being mysterious, but your understanding of this makes my heart do cartwheels!! :)

PhilLFM...thank you so much and welcome to the litnet forums.

[qimissung]

ampoule, your extended metaphor is handled beautifully. I love this. Yes, it is slightly erotic, but it is the emotional truth of it that gives it heart and beauty.

[ampoule]

Thank you very much qimi. :)

[TheFifthElement]

I love this Amp; I love the way you weave both the sad and the erotic into an emotionally wrought piece, delivered with a delicate slice of sweetness. Truly beautiful :)

[Pendragon]

A fine piece of poetry, with slightly spicy flavor! :)

[Virgil]

Wow, Amp, what a poem! Outstanding. That one can easily be published. :)

[ampoule]

Wow, Amp, what a poem! Outstanding. That one can easily be published. :)

:blush: Wow, Virgil! Thank you so much. I guess I'll have to take this one to the library on Saturday and see what the poetry group thinks.

And Fifth, your comments are always precious to me. Thank you for your encouragement.

[GREENWOLFE1962]

Ah yes ! Be patient . I heard that many years ago .
I was a child , and she was a child . It is now 46 years .
I spoke to her again yesterday . She said , "Be patient."
I shall continue to love her , for I , am a patient man .
It is worth publication . But , be patient .


Greenwolfe 1962

[dibyendra]

Enjoy the swing,
Listen to the birds,
Watch the yellow leaves fall to the ground,
Feel the sun's warmth, streaming,






How startled you will be to see me standing there,
Naked, holding the key.



Wow, what an imagery! :)

Lovely poem, Ampoule! Found an interesting poem to read after I got back to LitNet after sometime!