View Full Version : Haiku on Steinway&Sons
JTParreira
10-04-2008, 09:21 AM
Elegant Legs
the Steinway as a woman
with a black dress.
J.T.Parreira
qimissung
10-05-2008, 10:25 AM
I like your haiku. I don't like the use of the pronoun 'his'-how do you know your Steinway is a man? In which case, couldn't you use the word 'tuxedo'? Not that there's anything wrong with a cross-dressing piano! :)
firefangled
10-07-2008, 11:54 PM
Elegant Legs
the Steinway as a woman
in his black dress.
J.T.Parreira
JT, I like your strange juxtaposition of syntax, pronouns, and modifiers. I have to admit that I would think of a him when thinking of Steinway, which I seldom do, other than to remeber when we stopped seeing each other.
I rather see this long cool woman in a black dress as the music box, Steinway as the black varnish.
Either way, I very much enjoyed this one.
JTParreira
10-13-2008, 01:55 PM
Thanks. I think that it is better.I made changes.
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