Escape preservation by preserving your escape.

[Louisos]

Escape preservation by preserving your escape.

I

Through this clear window,
See all
The things
He intended me to
See.

I

Stay still in this room,
Stagnant
With the putrid
Remnants of a mirror’s
Gaze.

I

Never leave this place of stillness,
No one comes to my place of stillness,

The window dirties,
All blurs to black,
It breaks the spell
Of snow white wonder,
Making a leper of my own
Self preservation.

I

Am never touched,
Never seen or tasted,
Never smelled nor heard.
Crawling from this room
Of piteous splendour,
I rot in fleeing
The winter’s chase,
The summer sun,
The spring’s blossom,
Autumnal rain.
All blurs to black
And breaks the spell
Of my bleak preservation.

I

Cheers,
Louis

[hoope]

enjoyed reading it.. its really nyc..
Good job ...

[Louisos]

Anything you didnt like or think I could improve?

[symphony]

I like this. Those different little stanzas separated by the Is work up a feeling of looking through windows offering different visions. But that last I after the last stanza confuses me. Do you mean to end the poem with that I to make it sound incomplete...?

[PrinceMyshkin]

"Cheers" you wrote at the end of this! What a mordant sense of humour you have!

I thought the repetition of the "1" at the beginning of each new verse was a wonderful way to indicate the frustration of trying to get this right! And though I was moved by everything that follows I was especially struck by:



Making a leper of my own
Self preservation.

[Louisos]

The Is alsi intend to stand alone to show isolation. The final I is to show that although the poem ends, my isolation continues and also shows how ths subjects life is somewhat incomplete.

Cheers is just my way of ending posts :)

Cheers,
Louis

[PrinceMyshkin]

The Is alsi intend to stand alone to show isolation. The final I is to show that although the poem ends, my isolation continues and also shows how ths subjects life is somewhat incomplete.

Cheers is just my way of ending posts :)

Cheers,
Louis

I wish I had picked up on that! But remember that 1 is not an island and one is never altogether alone when one has one's poetry and the possibility of readers to read and appreciate it.

[windblown]

Hikikomori, a Japanese word for a way of life and for people who live like that: alone in their (or their parents') house, never going out, refusing to take part in society's games of pressure and competition. In contrast John Donne's famous lines:

"No man is an island entire of itself; every man
is a piece of the continent, a part of the main;
if a clod be washed away by the sea, Europe
is the less, as well as if a promontory were, as
well as any manner of thy friends or of thine
own were; any man's death diminishes me,
because I am involved in mankind.
And therefore never send to know for whom
the bell tolls; it tolls for thee."

Your poem makes me think if today's globalized society is not leaving more and more people behind, people who choose to remain islands because no one around them senses that something is lost if they are not there, that if a clod is washed away, they are the less.

[Louisos]

I wish I had picked up on that! But remember that 1 is not an island and one is never altogether alone when one has one's poetry and the possibility of readers to read and appreciate it.

I would disagree :)
Very interesting windblown:)
I am very glad to hear that it made you think about this, as it does account for a large chunk of this poem's thematic/idealogical meaning :)

Cheers,
Louis