PDA

View Full Version : Walls of Fire


Louisos
10-01-2008, 02:50 PM
A bit of a wacko one. I know the rhythym is weird, but it's supposed to be like this. I promise ;)

Walls of Fire

Walls of fire,
Of wrath,
Of rage,
Bind me to consequence,
Bind my shadow to consequence,
Shackle my soul to consequence.

This cruelty is kind
To love
Bound flesh,

For reminding me
Of consequence,
For shackling me
To consequence,
Massages my love bound flesh
That did, in eternal beauty
Walk through these walls!
Through this fire,
Through this wrath,
Through this rage.

What did it find?
Celestial light?
Boundless freedom?
No, this is not freedom;
This light is lurid,
Hot at the core.
This freedom weighted
By untenable insanity,
Sedated by
Intangible agony.
My sin
Dripped tongue
Causes temporary numb
To the pain that it brings unto me

Pity my free soul,
For it is burned by the breeze
Of heavenly peace,
Numbed to the pain
Of its feather whip.
All I want,
Are those walls of fire.


Cheers,
Louis
Dark Muse
10-01-2008, 07:58 PM
This was quite interesting and it was rather different but I enjoyed the dark nature of it.
lit_head
10-01-2008, 11:32 PM
This freedom weighted
By untenable insanity,
Sedated by
Intangible agony.
My sin
Dripped tongue
Causes temporary numb
To the pain that it brings unto me


i dunno why i just loved that part. great poem i enjoyed it
Louisos
10-02-2008, 01:13 PM
Thanks.
Where there any parts you didn't enjoy or felt I could improve?
Xcape
10-02-2008, 10:05 PM
I loved the 'sin dripped tongue' - nice.
gothic
10-03-2008, 01:36 AM
Pity my free soul,
For it is burned by the breeze
Of heavenly peace,
Numbed to the pain
Of its feather whip.
All I want,
Are those walls of fire.

This last stanza seemed to me like a cool confession. Love it. The rest of it is as obscure as anyone would like a poetry to be.
eyemaker
10-03-2008, 01:43 AM
This is quite nice..I love the imagery that was used as well as the nature it brings.
Louisos
10-03-2008, 02:55 AM
Wow thank you all very much.
By the looks of it none of you have any objection to the words I used and the way I presented them, in that case, may I ask if any of you felt the message I was trying to get across, or what the poem might be about?

Cheers,
Louis
Schizo-Manic
10-06-2008, 03:04 AM
creative piece dark imagery well done, it's different but it was a pleasure to read.