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kelby_lake
09-17-2008, 01:37 PM
Should I tell him?
If I do not, then that is cruel
And I vowed never to be cruel to him
But how can I fight it?
He cannot fight it and I am too weak to fight for him
It's been this way for a long time
Drinking casually with mates, then drinking seriously, and alone
The neighbours say 'Andy's a lush', and I cannot bear to hear it
Yet I do not contradict them
Should I tell him what they say?
Is secrecy the only way
Not to break his heart?
But I forget that I am broken too
Should I tell him we are broken?
Should I tell him he is an alcoholic?

Dark Muse
09-18-2008, 11:48 PM
This was very moving with so much emotion which really is gripping. So much truth within the words

Justin Rockwell
09-19-2008, 11:54 PM
I like the idea, but the structure seems broken on the last 2 lines and it seems to take away from the flow, I'd adjust those. But overall, good job.

please return the feeback...

http://www.online-literature.com/forums/showthread.php?p=622743#post622743

Pendragon
09-20-2008, 01:47 PM
The emotions carry the flow, I wouldn't change a thing. :thumbs_up