On lovemaking.

[paperleaves]

he sat eagerly hunched over the keyboard, clicking away
at free prizes and the taskbar
surfing the psychology forums for ways to get by
he is tired of getting high in the kitchen and watching me wash the dishes
as he paints his masterpieces and smokes his cigars
I pop open the wine, and
bathe
and drink.
I watch the auditions for the new
reality singing contest
belting out the classics as the bubbles pop
and my toes warm.
he appears in the doorway, milk jug in hand,
waving his glances like threats to the television
I think it is too loud.
an artist needs his peace.
So I sit naked on the dryer and listen
to my clothes spin endlessly
in intense heat
pressing altogetherlikeawhirlpoolofcotton
polyester, rayon, and nylon.
He walks in the laundry room, inkpen in hand,
waving his glances like threats to the washerdryer set
I think it is too loud.
a writer needs his peace.
So I retire to bed and fall into the throes of slumber
in intense heat
pressing altogetherlikeawhirpoolofnightmares
black, red, bleach.
And he finally wraps his arms around me, and kisses my forehead
and no one complains about the noises we make
because they are too busy to care
and after all,
a lover needs his peace.

[PrinceMyshkin]

God-damn! I read this all the way through with a laugh dying to burst out, in part at some of what is funny in it but mostly in sheer joy at your freaking exuberance!

Did you perhaps have to go and take a long, cold shower after writing it, to sort of calm down?

[poetman]

i enjoyed it.

I think it was nicely illustrated, and it was a good read throughout.
Nice beginning, and nice ending.

I also like the repetition of some lines, and the story.


please return favour:

http://www.online-literature.com/forums/showthread.php?t=37954

[blazeofglory]

I say in two words: Haunting and intriguing.

[breathtest]

I feel hopelessly inadequate commenting on your poems.

This is incredible.

Thank you for sharing this!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[Lokasenna]

Flabbergasting...

Powerful, imaginative and very idiosyncratic - do keep it up!

[Delta40]

I love how you situated yourself.

[LostPrincess13]

LOL!:lol: Well done!:D

[a_little_wisp]

Wooooooooooonderful!!! I giggled and I sighed, swoonful-like. Nice work!! :D

[Stargazer86]

I profusely enjoyed reading this. It has a lovely flow. It actually struck pretty close to home on some levels. From beginning to end this is very nicely written. :thumbs_up

[Sapphire]

I really did not expect the last 5 lines :) Wonderfully done!

I really like how you made "altogetherlikeawhirlpoolofcotton" to one word - though it took me a little while to decipher it ;)

Thank you for sharing, Sapphire

[paperleaves]

Thank you for bringing this back--I haven't written in a while and this inspires me to keep going!