Your Teardrops

[dippdogg2002]

If I could die right now and be anything
What would I be?
Would I be a king and rule over the whole land?
Or I would I be a fish and explore the whole sea?
Would I be a cloud and look out over the majesty of the world?
Would I be a singer and sing the most beautiful note?
Or would I be a painter and paint the grandest picture?
No,none of these things appeal to me.
So what one thing would I be?
Well I would be your teardrops
and spend my life with thee.



Please post your opinions on this poem. I wrote this while I was at work the other day and I think it's one of the best I've ever written. Granted I'm just now begginning writing and so I have alot of things to work on. Any suggestions and comments would be welcome.

[Helga]

simple and sweet

[subterranean]

Well I would be your teardrops
and spend my life with thee.


It's sweet I agree, but I'm not really comfy with the closing sentences. Seems it's like an uhappy way to spend a life with someone. But it's just my opinion.

[dippdogg2002]

Sub you haven't been the only one to say that. I guess it all depends on how someone would take it. The point of it is for someone to be with someone always without being a part of there body which would be a little wierd lol. Everybody cries at some point in there life for something all the way up to very old age. Basically that's the reason why I chose teardrops. I couldn't really say "I would be your smile" or something to that effect in my opinion because it wouldn't have the same impact. But thanks for the comments.