Death by Trian of Thought

[rtc143]

First poem on here. I hope you guys like it. By the way, the end is a little shaky, but it works.

Death by Train of Thought

A dimly lit desk holds the paper
On which my ideas flow
My mind becomes the pitcher
To hold the ideas so,
The pen can be a handle
To tip the ideas out
The ink will form them one by one
On paper they do shout.
Too many for my mind to hold
The pitcher begins to crack
I yell the ideas loud and clear
The words drop down and stack.
They stack upon the paper,
Reach the mountaintops
I feel my mind settling
As the pouring stops.
I arrange the words in order
Try to create sense
All the while hearing
My train of thought advance.
Rushing now, I work much faster
To finish what I sought
With my mind trapped on rails… wait, too late:
It’s death by my train of thought.

[qimissung]

This is a very clever and unusual metaphor. Well done!

[manny2]

very unique, i loved it : )

[blazeofglory]

It gives an experience which is uncommon and rare!

[amanda_isabel]

i agree with the posts before me; it's definitely unusual and i loved it :)

[rtc143]

Anyone that hasn't read this please do. Love the comments, but I'm actually here to say I'm back from my money struggles and actually alive.

[Delta40]

I watched you 'whoosh' by. I'm so glad you're ok!

[rtc143]

well thank you. i love your use of the word whoosh.

[Delta40]

I've been standing on a platform of my own this last week. I like the word whoosh. My hair whips across my face as other lives pass my sphere of existence. It's good to stand here.

[Lokasenna]

Ooh, I like it. I feel like that at times - just too many ideas, not enough paper!

[Beautifull]

:lol: I LOVED it!!!

[MorpheusSandman]

Lol, This is one of the best metaphors for the creative process I've ever read! My only suggestion is to remove the 'my' in the last line to keep the meter/rhythm.

[Beautifull]

so when's your next poem?