Some poems

[Giggidy]

Well I'm new here, but I'd figure to give a go on some poems I wrote. Just got interested in writing a couple months ago so I'm not acquainted with the right rules or structure of poems. I prefer to write, mostly short.

Anyways great site from what I've seen over the days, full of wonderful artists. I hope to stay active as much as I can. Well, here's some stuff.
I welcome & thrive off critiques or any help, rough me up if you please ;)

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Showing Me:

I just want to take my diseased hand,
Shove it down my sick throat,
Pushing through bones and limp organs,
'till I grasp it with bloody fingers,

I just want to pull myself out.
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Food For Thought:

I jam my thoughts into a jar,
Spread them on toast with a pencil,
Each bite bursts of tasty information,
What a cognitive diet!
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Cozy Classic:

Vintage,vinyl record spins clock-wise,
in a smoke hazed coffee house.

George Benson caresses the ear,
as the sweet, Peruvian aroma teases the nose.

The fire dances smoothly to the tranquil rhythm,
warming the frosted faces from the calming snow outside....
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206 Puzzle:

You plucked my vertebrae,
with wispy fingers.

Yielding to gravity,
My bones scatter across the floor.

I sit there,
Working meticulously,

With my 206 piece puzzle.

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Thanks, n'enjoy

[TheFifthElement]

Hi Giggidy (Quagmire?!) and welcome to Lit-net.

Interesting poetry: nice, and short, and neat! The first one, I thought, read more like a statement than a poem but it was well worthwhile reading on. I especially enjoyed 206 Puzzle which has an interesting theme and an excellent rhythm. Cozy Classic I think could easily be expanded on and I'd be interested to see what you did with it if you felt like making it into a longer poem. If not I'd be inclined to mix up the syntax a bit so it doesn't seem repetitive, though in a longer poem I think that would work really well (hope that makes sense!). Anyway, just my opinion, feel free to take or leave.

Good start, and let's see some more!