You and I

[dibyendra]

I incinerate infantile feelings
forever that you'll be awe-striken.
Feelings change. Faces too.
Time ripples wrinkles on our skin.

I remain silent
just to hear you breathing.
Let me become numb
touching your trembling lips.

The voidness, that's inside,
crumbles with the blink of your eyes.
Let me watch your dreamy eyes
dreaming, with an awe, forever.

With every poem that I write, I wish
that you'll listen with your open heart.
Don't you feel how I feel
or you hate to feel the way I feel?

It's okay. I don't mind.
I remain silent. You don't like
stones being thrown into the placid mind?
I don't like that too. Do I need to swear?

So what are you wishing tonight
if a shooting star appears in the velvet sky?
If you ask me the same question,
you already know the answer.

Yes, I want you to be mine.

[Justin Rockwell]

Nice, the tone is really smooth, and the sentences flow back to back, great job my friend.

please return the feedback...

http://www.online-literature.com/forums/showthread.php?t=37748

[goldenrod]

Don't know why you wouldn't get a positive response from a wished for partner with persuasive poems like that one!


goldenrod.

[dibyendra]

Nice, the tone is really smooth, and the sentences flow back to back, great job my friend.

Thanks, Justin. I'm really glad to hear such a warm comment.


Don't know why you wouldn't get a positive response from a wished for partner with persuasive poems like that one!


Thanks, Goldenrod, for your comment. At least, I'm getting positive response from you all. Thanks! :)

[dibyendra]

Now that the stars are gleaming,
the sky is on fire. Your face is bright
as the moon, and the reflection
of the universe is in your glistering eyes.

The fragrances in the zephyr caress
as your sleek hair flutters toward my face,
enticing for a passionate kiss
that we both cry for more.

Love is a chain, an obsession, a fire,
a fear, a pure passion, and a desire
that is insatiable, and unappeasable
when the soulmates swim in the ocean of love.

[PrinceMyshkin]

I particularly liked the lines:


You don't like
stones being thrown into the placid mind?

And the bare simplicity of your final line, that most honest assertion that it often takes so much courage to state so openly.

[dibyendra]

And the bare simplicity of your final line, that most honest assertion that it often takes so much courage to state so openly.

Thank you very much. :)

[Tia_Pixie]

wow, the way you captured the plain emotions in it was just fantastic. Well done!

[blazeofglory]

This poem I say in one word ' fantabulous'.

[dibyendra]

Thank you very much, Tia, and Blaze, for your comment!