Mind is a mirage

[dibyendra]

Mind is laden.
Face becomes an open book.

At a low ebb,
ripples of anxiety permeate
nothing but desperation.

Irrational dismays,
when not impeded,
they outbreak as a foe
with a vengeance,
insinuating the mind
toward a mental quagmire.

The ebbs and flows
of negative vibes muddle
until the mind gets puddled
with frothing bubbles.

Tides rise, and, they recede.
Mind is an ocean.

Mind is a mirage.
It's everchanging.

[Pendragon]

May I suggest a slight change? Look, it has to do with appearance, not what you wrote which is wonderful!


Mind is laden.
Face becomes an open book.

At a low ebb,
ripples of anxiety permeate
nothing but desperation.

The ebbs and flows
of negative vibes muddle
until the mind gets puddled
with frothing bubbles.

Irrational dismays,
when not impeded,
they outbreak as a foe bent on vengeance,
insinuating the mind
toward a mental quagmire.

Sinking feelings cause
a new point of desperation,
falling from a great new height
to a dark and deep low...

Tides rise, and, they recede,
chasing an elusive moon.
Mind is an ocean.

Mind is a mirage.
It's everchanging.


Now it's
2 lines
3lines
4 lines
5 lines
4 lines
3 lines
2 lines

Anything I added is in italics and may be dismissed without prejudice. This is your poem, Dibby. I suggest only.

Pen http://i94.photobucket.com/albums/l108/AbsalomKane/blinky.gif

[blazeofglory]

This is a beautiful philosophical poem.

I like the first line immensely.

Indeed mind is a mirage and we seek after something and the something we keep on seeking for is not attainable. We seek for something fixating our mind on something thinking that we can get peace of mind.
Fixate your mind on a peak and you start climbing it but once you are there at the peak you get no peace of find, and it was a sheer illusion and nothing in substance.

This indicates that mind is an illusion and all that mind craves for or chase after are illusions and nothing else.

[dibyendra]

May I suggest a slight change? Look, it has to do with appearance, not what you wrote which is wonderful!


Mind is laden.
Face becomes an open book.

At a low ebb,
ripples of anxiety permeate
nothing but desperation.

The ebbs and flows
of negative vibes muddle
until the mind gets puddled
with frothing bubbles.

Irrational dismays,
when not impeded,
they outbreak as a foe bent on vengeance,
insinuating the mind
toward a mental quagmire.

Sinking feelings cause
a new point of desperation,
falling from a great new height
to a dark and deep low...

Tides rise, and, they recede,
chasing an elusive moon.
Mind is an ocean.

Mind is a mirage.
It's everchanging.


Now it's
2 lines
3lines
4 lines
5 lines
4 lines
3 lines
2 lines

Anything I added is in italics and may be dismissed without prejudice. This is your poem, Dibby. I suggest only.

Pen http://i94.photobucket.com/albums/l108/AbsalomKane/blinky.gif

Thank you very much, Pen, for your nice suggestions! I especially liked the line 'chasing an elusive moon.' That was really great which fits with the line 'Mind is an ocean'. :thumbs_up

:)

[dibyendra]

This is a beautiful philosophical poem.

I like the first line immensely.

Indeed mind is a mirage and we seek after something and the something we keep on seeking for is not attainable. We seek for something fixating our mind on something thinking that we can get peace of mind.
Fixate your mind on a peak and you start climbing it but once you are there at the peak you get no peace of find, and it was a sheer illusion and nothing in substance.

This indicates that mind is an illusion and all that mind craves for or chase after are illusions and nothing else.

Thank you very much, Blaze. I appreciate your comment. Your comment is also philosophically beautiful. :thumbs_up