In Palestine

[Zippy]

A very short short for your consideration and comment.

Thanks,

Zippy. ;)


In Palestine

Terrorism will not be tolerated.

I want to make that very clear from the outset, because, even though I have been blessed (some might say cursed) with great responsibility, I still feel the need to justify myself.

It is a very human need, I suppose, one that a man in my position must by necessity conceal. Justification is a weakness to many, and weakness is not permitted in my line of work.

The other day I had no choice but to order the execution of one of them. They’re fanatics, of course, and this one was clearly a ringleader. One of our inside men – a very experienced and sympathetic agent – gave us all the evidence we needed. Still, I wasn’t happy about it. To a man like me, an army commander more at home in the city than the desert, these people are incomprehensible.

There’s constant infighting, sects, riots; new leaders and followers springing-up weekly until it makes your head spin. The fighting’s been going on for decades, centuries even, long before our peacekeepers arrived, and I don’t doubt they’ll be at it after we’re gone too. They won’t be happy until they’ve killed everyone, and we’re stuck in the middle. All we really are is a temporary focus for their animosity. The one thing they can agree on -- they hate us and want us gone.

What made me unhappy about this one though was that he seemed so reasonable. I realise it’s difficult for anyone whose never met a terrorist to understand, but some of these guys are quite likeable. You don’t become the leader of one of these groups without some degree of charm, or powers of persuasion. By all accounts this one was quite the orator. He’d gathered enough supporters to make the authorities nervous. Upsetting the applecart. Talking about revolution.

He was too clever to take part in any of the violence himself, of course. He was more of a figure-head, a puppet master, stirring up the insurgents with his promises of change. He went out of his way to seem like a peacemaker, but he wasn’t fooling anyone.

Unsurprisingly, his men put up a struggle when they arrested him. The informant led the police to their hideout just outside the city and there was a scuffle. One of them pulled a weapon and injured an officer. The others managed to escape, but the leader came quietly. He knew when the game was up, I’ll give him that much.

Anyway, as I said, he seemed so reasonable. I hate to admit it but the bastard even had me doubting myself for a moment. It just seemed like too much bother all of a sudden. The local authorities here are as bad as the terrorists. These bastard beaurecrats hate us as much as the insurgents do. Doesn’t stop them coming running when they want something, though. I told them to sort it out themselves. If they really thought the poor bugger was a terrorist and deserved to die then they could try the case. They could execute him.

The sly buggers didn’t like that. Didn’t want to lose favour with the plebs. These terrorists are popular among the lower classes. When you haven’t got a pot to piss in revolution starts to look good.

In the end I saw that there was no getting out of it. Still, I couldn’t help but have a bad feeling about the whole thing, as though the sorry episode would come back to haunt me. I won’t be happy if it does, I’ll tell you that much.

The execution went ahead anyway. But to be perfectly honest, I washed my hands of the whole thing.


***


The dust blew down the alleyway, gathering in the rubbish choked gutter. Peter rapped on the door and slunk quickly into the room before anyone noticed him.

“They’re saying that the tomb is empty,” he said breathlessly. “Pilate is going berserk.”

The End.

[J_M_D_Telvatia]

Pontius Pilate wore a crown of thorns on his conscience, no?
Maybe

[Zippy]

Pontius Pilate wore a crown of thorns on his conscience, no?

I suppose you could look at it that way. He's certainly one of the most interesting characters in the Gospels. It's probably a position a lot of modern day leaders and politicians would sympathise with - the division between what is the right thing and what politics dictates should be done.

I really appreciate the time you've taken to read and comment on this. It sometimes feels as though the writers on this site are shouting down the well at midnight with no one listening!

[J_M_D_Telvatia]

who's at the bottom of a well at midnight!?
Speaking of Pilate, the day after I read your post, I began reading The Master and Margarita, which has a chapter about Pontius Pilate, which I am almost through, the chapter, that is (school slows free reading down). Have you read it?

[Zippy]

Yes, I've read it. I love that book and I think that particular chapter is the best part. I would have loved the Master's book to be printed in entirity.

Thanks for your comment!

[mosimo]

I would have to agree with you on the point that the writers on this site are shouting down a well. Another good story I liked how you made it seem like modern history until the very end. Very intriguing.

[Zippy]

Many thanks for taking to time to read and comment. I'll certainly try to return the favour.

:thumbs_up

[blp]

I'm stupid so I skipped the bit after the asterisks, thinking it wasn't part of the story. I therefore thought the 'wash my hands' bit was just a way of drawing the mythic parallel.

My criticism was therefore going to be that the unreliable narrator strategy was letting you wriggle out of taking on the most difficult, also most interesting writerly challenges of your story - actually delineating how two viewpoints can be utterly opposed while mutual respect exists between the holders of those viewpoints. And that sort of still stands. Pilate's rationalisation isn't convincing enough and Jesus' position, the one that 'almost' convinces Pilate, isn't shown at all. It's a bit like writing, 'He was the most unpleasant person I've ever met.' without saying anything about what made the unpleasantness. To be a bit brutal, though it's meant kindly, honestly, it's the lazy approach.

All it really leaves you with is the twist in the tale, which I don't think is enough. First, short as it is, we still have to go through a fair chunk of too vague (necessarily vague) verbiage to get there. Second, the material has the potential to be fascinating and turning it all to the service of a 'clever' surprise ending trivialises it, making it little more than a joke set-up with punchline payoff. Reading it, I really wanted to know how this would go down - the encounter of an Israeli 'peacekeeper' and a Palestinian 'terrorist', especially if the latter really wasn't one at all, but was more a sort of Edward Said-type intellectual whose views were being mischaracterised as 'incitement'. You could make a brilliant little play out of it.

[Zippy]

Thanks for the though-provoking comments, blp.

A while ago I was working my way through a compilation of Borges' short stories and came across House of Asterion. I loved it, and it pretty much blew me away, so much so that I tried (and failed) to emulate the style in this piece.

I really didn't have the will to expand it, or put the effort into developing it into something more. It is a 'surprise ending' story and that's all it is - I have a penchant for endings such as these, something which people have criticised me for in the past.

It's pefectly okay by me if you are brutal, especially as you've taken the time to really think about how it can be improved. To be brutal on myself I am a lazy writer and need a good kick up the backside now and again.

Once again thanks. I appreciate your comments.

Zippy. :)

[PabloQ]

As I was reading this story, I kept waiting to hear Pilate's voice. As written, Pilate seems complacent about the action that he was pressured to take...or was he? Did Pilate struggle at all with his decision? Apparently not. He sentenced and executed a terrorist in the story, but is that at all a valid portrayal of Jesus Christ. Even in the gospel Pilate tells the Pharisees that Jesus has broken no Roman law. Later, He's described as though He is an insurrectionist. That doesn't seem appropriately accurate either given what we read in the Gospels and that's pretty much all we have to go on.

I, like blp, feel as though I'm being harsh. The positive I take away from the story (and it's the nugget that could germinate into a better story) is that problems plaguing Palestine today span the millenia to the time of Pilate and Christ. That's the interesting idea I'd love to see you develop. As it stands, we have Pilate retelling a story that we already know, but without any of his perspective of what it was like for him to experience that fateful 24 hours.

[blp]

On a similar theme, you might, if you can get hold of it, like to check out Frank Cottrell Boyce's TV play God on Trial (http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1173494/). It shows a group of condemned Jews in Auschwitz arguing about whether they can blame God for their fate. They eventually get on to talking about Palestine - very interestingly and very contentiously.