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opheliac
08-27-2008, 02:30 AM
DISORIENTATION

If your heart is a treasure map,
then I have been sent off course
lost in my confused navigation,
and blown into a heavy storm.
I try to decipher your clues,
and gaze into your compass eye
deep and sharp like an old star,
pointing me in the right direction.
My guide, my reflected hope,
I know this world is surely round,
and that the curvature of your flowerly limbs
will eventually lead me home.

At dawn, I saw birds drop from the sky;
they came as thick as falling bricks
out of the crumbling clouds of grey.
Tonight time's sea is wolf-hungry,
swallowing my rations of sanity
as I am tossed to and fro
in your breaking lifeboat.
The water rushes on rapidly,
And I am left to face the edge.
How long till the last wave comes?
I do not know, now all is in vain
and I am drowning, drowning in you.

Justin Rockwell
09-01-2008, 12:47 PM
I like this, I can def. relate. Good indirect description.

please return the feedback...

http://www.online-literature.com/forums/showthread.php?t=37748

~rose.of.night
09-02-2008, 05:37 AM
i really like how you extended a metaphor into an entire poem. it is a very good metaphor too, and well written.