i saw a lady with a pale face

[ahsiam]

i saw a lady with a pale face
when her life was sketched
only to satisfy needs..
those feelings were never heard
before they were felt,
pain was never burnt
before it attacked the breath of life


civilization spurns her
for she is earth's third child
not deceived, deprived.


civilization is what drama is!
a lie, a curse!
mournful that all its deed of carnage
were wafted with yesterdays
for humanity is defeated today.


a pantomime her life be
when sterner desires we keep to be bathyllus
if stern but blind for sure!


we call ourselves civilized!
oh civilization!
a meagre sanity-
hardly humanity...

[Dark Muse]

I really like this one, it is quite interesting, and I love the concept behind it

[ahsiam]

Thanks dark for your thoughtful opinion... I tried to write the poem with the words i had in mind and tried to make a clear concept. Thank you very much for loving the concept behind it. :)

[symphony]

Though i liked that last line very much (here i go again! :D ), i felt like the poem would be more appealing without the last stanza.

This is the fourth one in the group, right? I still cant get enough of them. That must say what i want to say... ;)

[ahsiam]

are dosto.... thanks yaar...:D
to tell you the truth last stanza was my favourite one and dont you think it gave an end to the poem?... and i think its the third one. (i myself forgot..lol)
and i want to say nothing about your every comments that add more beauty to my new one...thanks for taking the time and those words...:)

[symphony]

Ah what i meant was, the poem would've sounded more dramatic if it had ended after the second last stanza. But anyway i still like the last line very very much.

[ahsiam]

I can totally understand that! ;)

[symphony]

Goddammit! Is there anything u do NOT underastand? :p

[ahsiam]

When it comes to u guys i understand EVERYTHING, believe me...:D

[Poetess]

we call ourselves civilized!
oh civilization!
a meagre sanity-
hardly humanity...


:thumbs_up :thumbs_up :thumbs_up :thumbs_up :thumbs_up