Thoughts On a Sad Morning

[Pendragon]

Depression descends like a foggy white elephant,
bought by blood and yet serving no purpose.
I write as inspired by my muse,
yet I seem to stir up the fantastically lovely green-eyed Destroyer of Souls.
“Beloved, I came not to you with enticing words of man…”
I wrote the poems. Someone else saw merit.
Others apparently saw red like a bull.
Shall I apologize for my own feeble efforts?
God forbid. Heaven knows I try.
And I cry, beloved, I cry…

Pendragon
Thursday, August 14, 2008

[Virgil]

Pen this is wonderful writing. Very powerful. I think there may be a slight grammatical error in this line: "I write as inspired by my muse". I don't think you need the "as". Other than that, an outstanding poem. I do hope you feel better.

[Dark Muse]

This was very lovely and very touching.

[goldenrod]

Poetic flow and sad mornings seem to go well together!

Correct me if I am wrong (pun intended) but I think the "as" donates direction of the above poetic flow or the timing of the inspiration provided by the muse?


goldenrod.

[firefangled]

Pen, you have such ability to present raw feelings exquisitely in your poems.

I think "as" does pick up the rhythm of your first line. When I say it with and without, I like with better.

[qimissung]

That is a beautiful poem. Don't be sad. You know when you write there are only two questions: do you like it? does it say what you want to say? That's the only thing that's important really.

[symphony]

And I cry, beloved, I cry…
Thats how the most wonderful creations are drawn together. With tears.

[Pendragon]

Thanks to you all. The as does refer to the direction or dictatation of the Muse...

[Virgil]

"I write as inspired by my muse" versus "I write inspired by my muse". I guess the first is not grammatically incorrect but my ear still likes the second better. But it's your poem Pen and whichever sounds best to you. :)

[B-Mental]

I like the 'as' the way it is. It feels correct. Very empathic poem my friend. I love it. I am sorry for the melancholy. B