Sitaram
01-09-2005, 09:22 AM
http://www.writers.net/forum/read/12/41959/41901Vf#41959
I am age 56 and writing my first (and perhaps only and last book) at
http://toosmallforsupernova.org
I grew up on a steady diet of the so-called "100 Great Books" at St. John's, Annapolis, and then spent many years reading and writing about books on philosophy and theology. One finds few sex scenes in such reading.
What I have written so far in my own attempt at a book has to do with ideas and mentions sex only in passing.
I have recently become interested in Milan Kundera, "The Art of Writing" and also "The Unbearable Lightness of Being." I admire his philosophical ideas, but he seems preoccupied with sex, and some of the sex seems rather far-fetched, such as a married man whose mistress demands that he make love to her with his forehead, and he always scrupluously bathes himself afterwards (but he somehow totally forgets about his hair?!) so finally after months his wife confronts him with the fact that his hair always has a certain tell-tale odor. The whole thing seems so far-fetched and contrived.
Also, apparently the bowler hat depicted on the cover of his "Unbearable Lightness of Being" comes from some scene where a lady grabs her lover's hat, holds it over her head, squats on the toilet.... (well, I wont finish this sentence... but as soon as I post, I am going to look up this bowler hat scene.)
Anyway, I like the idea of writing books that do not discuss sex. ON THE OTHER HAND, another part of my writing is autobiographical. I want to try and put down things that I actually experienced in my life, especially in my childhood. I want to write about sexual experiences, thoughts, feelings, fears, desires in a very candid way. It seems important to me to do this exercise.
You may seen an example of this autobiographical writing at
http://toosmallforsupernova.org/fromtheauthor.htm
I try to write in good taste.
I realize that this thread is specifically questioning the necessity for sex scenes in a certain genre of popular fiction intended for women readers. I am male, but I guess I would agree that many women I have known would prefer fiction which is romantic, and suggestive, but not explicit. But since the topic of writing about sex is on my mind, I thought I would post.
If I do proceed to write down all of my lifetime thoughts and experiences about sex, I would not care to be seen as a pornographer for so doing, but I am sure there would be many people who would consider it some kind of abnormality or obsession. Yet that part of my life has great meaning for me. It is something that I want to better understand. I would like to make it possible for others who come after me to understand that there was someone who thought and felt as I did.
I suppose the keyword in all this is "ambivalence". I both want to and do not want to write about and read about sex. I do not want to be a sexual being, but I am a sexual being. I lot of the power and raw energy of sexuality flows from that very abivalence. I am inexperienced and I want to remain pure, but I am curious, and suddenly, here we are, we have crossed a line, crossed a boundary, we have stopped the pretense, no one can see us, no one will know if we never tell, but now, I am breaking all the rules, I am taking courage and doing what is forbidden, naughty.
Well, I shall post now, and perhaps go off and write some more.
I am age 56 and writing my first (and perhaps only and last book) at
http://toosmallforsupernova.org
I grew up on a steady diet of the so-called "100 Great Books" at St. John's, Annapolis, and then spent many years reading and writing about books on philosophy and theology. One finds few sex scenes in such reading.
What I have written so far in my own attempt at a book has to do with ideas and mentions sex only in passing.
I have recently become interested in Milan Kundera, "The Art of Writing" and also "The Unbearable Lightness of Being." I admire his philosophical ideas, but he seems preoccupied with sex, and some of the sex seems rather far-fetched, such as a married man whose mistress demands that he make love to her with his forehead, and he always scrupluously bathes himself afterwards (but he somehow totally forgets about his hair?!) so finally after months his wife confronts him with the fact that his hair always has a certain tell-tale odor. The whole thing seems so far-fetched and contrived.
Also, apparently the bowler hat depicted on the cover of his "Unbearable Lightness of Being" comes from some scene where a lady grabs her lover's hat, holds it over her head, squats on the toilet.... (well, I wont finish this sentence... but as soon as I post, I am going to look up this bowler hat scene.)
Anyway, I like the idea of writing books that do not discuss sex. ON THE OTHER HAND, another part of my writing is autobiographical. I want to try and put down things that I actually experienced in my life, especially in my childhood. I want to write about sexual experiences, thoughts, feelings, fears, desires in a very candid way. It seems important to me to do this exercise.
You may seen an example of this autobiographical writing at
http://toosmallforsupernova.org/fromtheauthor.htm
I try to write in good taste.
I realize that this thread is specifically questioning the necessity for sex scenes in a certain genre of popular fiction intended for women readers. I am male, but I guess I would agree that many women I have known would prefer fiction which is romantic, and suggestive, but not explicit. But since the topic of writing about sex is on my mind, I thought I would post.
If I do proceed to write down all of my lifetime thoughts and experiences about sex, I would not care to be seen as a pornographer for so doing, but I am sure there would be many people who would consider it some kind of abnormality or obsession. Yet that part of my life has great meaning for me. It is something that I want to better understand. I would like to make it possible for others who come after me to understand that there was someone who thought and felt as I did.
I suppose the keyword in all this is "ambivalence". I both want to and do not want to write about and read about sex. I do not want to be a sexual being, but I am a sexual being. I lot of the power and raw energy of sexuality flows from that very abivalence. I am inexperienced and I want to remain pure, but I am curious, and suddenly, here we are, we have crossed a line, crossed a boundary, we have stopped the pretense, no one can see us, no one will know if we never tell, but now, I am breaking all the rules, I am taking courage and doing what is forbidden, naughty.
Well, I shall post now, and perhaps go off and write some more.