On the railroad

[Sweets America]

On the railroad,
a restless writer escapes beyond the limits
of his non-existence,
trying to capture the evading memories
of a vaporizing self;

Off the railroad,
a meditative hobo sits under a tree,
quizzically examining
a wet blade of grass, and the whole sun
enclosed in one dewdrop;

Between them,
the railroad tracks seem to grow longer
and draw another scar on the face
of the Earth.

[PrinceMyshkin]

My God, Sophie! This must be your very best so far! One cannot (or I cannot at any rate) overlook the discipline with which you say just as much as is necessary but not one syllable too many. And what a glorious provocation you provide in leaving it to us to discern the connection, if any, between the writer and the hobo.

Even if I did not love you, the person, I would love the author of this.

[CdnReader]

I agree with Jerry. This is superb!

[Sweets America]

Thank you so much, you two! :) This was inspired by my dear Jack Kerouac. :blush: ;)

[firefangled]

The last stanza surprises and amazes. The depth and subtlty of the metaphor is astounding.

[goldenrod]

The above replies have left little for me to say.
It is like Thor having his hammer stolen or Odin unable to unleash his thunder-bolts because the electricity has been turned off!:(


goldenrod.

[blazeofglory]

On the railroad,
a restless writer escapes beyond the limits
of his non-existence,
trying to capture the evading memories
of a vaporizing self;

Off the railroad,
a meditative hobo sits under a tree,
quizzically examining
a wet blade of grass, and the whole sun
enclosed in one dewdrop;

Between them,
the railroad tracks seem to grow longer
and draw another scar on the face
of the Earth.

That is how life goes on and on endlessly.

[Virgil]

Ooh, quite good Sweets. You're going to be as good a poet as Jerry in a few years. ;)

Loved these lines: "vaporizing self," "the whole sun /enclosed in one dewdrop," and "draw another scar on the face /of the Earth." Interesting you use the verb "draw" in that last one. I know it should be read as "the railroad tracks seem to draw..." and your grammar is quite correct, but it also has the ambiguity of the railroad tracks drawing a scar. I thought that second meaning, whether you intended it or not, is a pretty cool image. :)

[Pendragon]

Now this is a darn good poem! All my life I have lived by the railroad and the hobos go through very often. There is a place in town where they camp all the time and people have come to get used to it. If they cause no harm they are left alone.

[Sweets America]

Thanks. :)

Virgil, in the last line, the image was of course intended. ;) Actually this was at the origin of the poem. The other day, as I was working on Kerouac, it just occured to me that railroad tracks really looked like scars. I thought that metaphor deserved a poem. The grammar would be the same if I took out "seem to", I would have "the rairoad tracks draw a scar" so I'm not sure what you mean about grammar? The funny thing is that I myself wondered if that was correct earlier, but I think it is. Thanks a lot for your nice comment! :)

Thanks everyone!:)

[qimissung]

I think it is correct the way it is-it is a metaphor and personification after all. This is just an excellent poem! My mother used to tell me about hobos coming by their house for something to eat in the thirties, the dust bowl days. That's what it initially made me think, of; I did wonder if the writer was inspired by that era of writers who loved to be "on the road."