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View Full Version : "white out of mind!"



goldenrod
07-11-2008, 12:20 PM
white out of mind!

Multiple strings of pearls,
their integrity unslipped,
shatter, as single ice pellets,
against my windshield.

A white blur,
confuses the road ahead,
bringing me out of daydreams
to white knuckled panic!

Then I remember,
I have been idling
in grid-locked traffic
for forty minutes!

goldenrod.

lucidnightmares
07-11-2008, 07:13 PM
reminds me of an embarrassing moment or something
can`t say much about it other than i love th last stanza.:D

blazeofglory
07-19-2008, 10:30 PM
white out of mind!

Multiple strings of pearls,
their integrity unslipped,
shatter, as single ice pellets,
against my windshield.

A white blur,
confuses the road ahead,
bringing me out of daydreams
to white knuckled panic!

Then I remember,
I have been idling
in grid-locked traffic
for forty minutes!

goldenrod.

Indeed good craftmanship

firefangled
07-20-2008, 04:10 PM
This is very powerful in its delivery. It is cinematic in the vision it provokes.

ampoule
07-21-2008, 08:15 AM
Wow, I like this. Clever title. I've seen a game show a couple of times where they use a core word, preceded and followed by words that make up two phrases unrelated to each other. Your title reminds me of that.

goldenrod
08-11-2008, 04:12 PM
(blazeofglory)

My write hand thanks you!:)


goldenrod.

goldenrod
08-11-2008, 04:15 PM
(lucidnightmares)

You could say that the last stanza brought me out of a lucid-daymare!:(


goldenrod.

goldenrod
08-11-2008, 04:19 PM
(firefangled)

I guess it's a lot worse in the big cities! I shall find out in November when we move from our small town to London Ontario...


goldenrod.

goldenrod
08-11-2008, 04:22 PM
(ampoule)

A good title for a poem, like a good man, is hard to find!


goldenrod.