Nero
07-10-2008, 06:42 AM
The first chapter of my novelette "Seaside Hotel", for which I got no response so far because I posted the whole book. I hope this extract is a bit more... bite-sized and palatable ;) I'd love to hear what you think about it.
http://farm4.static.flickr.com/3030/2654776113_8ce0e20d56_m.jpg (http://farm4.static.flickr.com/3030/2654776113_8ce0e20d56_b.jpg)
Part I
______________________________
Chapter I
It had just ceased to rain. Silver moonlight fell onto Miia's bed again. But this time the male body it illuminated was lighter, more filigree. It had circumfluently touched her limbs, triggering a swirl of arousing sensations. This was the first time Miia had had the feeling that a man was not using her body for his own purposes. Juha had rather given her the feeling that he was worshiping it, every inch of his skin devoted to the cult. When her muscles had finally relaxed and she had breathlessly fallen back onto her pillows, it had been as if she woke up from a beautiful dream, still unable to fully understand what had just happened to her. Now her head rested on his chest, that regularly expanded and decreased but in a completely different rhythm than the heartbeat, that merely reached Miia's ear, so deep down was its origin.
Silver moonlight shining onto even skin. Beams of light split by drops of rain on the window. This was the first time Miia felt she had found a place to rest for ages. Usually, when she felt upset, she would crawl into Niina's bed to know that there was someone who could put everything back into its right place. When Niina left, Miia was surprised to notice how much those things had meant to her, still. They hadn't been as close as they used to be for years. Miia had found other friends, different friends. Friends her older sister despised. All of that had started out just after Miia had begun to date Rane. Now she wondered whether it had been worth it. But obviously it wasn't too late. The bond between her and her twin was still binding.
Cherry blossom was at its highpoint, making it look like wonderful smelling snow fell out of the perfectly cloudless sky. The sun shone warmly upon the tiny park in Kallio, close to the kid's house. Arto was standing behind the grill. Turned sausages, nipped on his beer (The one with the bear icon on the label), entertained all the three families at once. Miia knew him better than her own grandfather who lived way off in the woods, far beyond the Keha 3. Just now the adults were cracking up again on one of his jokes. Her mother lovingly leaning on her father's shoulder. Arto knew millions of jokes – or even thousands.
A cloud as black as pitch was chased over the silver moon and remembered Miia of other nights she had experienced. Nights of discomfort next to a man that had used her, that had shaped her, not caring about her natural form. It had seemed easy at first but now it turned out she had been mistaken. Rane had been a burden to her soul. But things were different now. She had given herself to him without protest and he had taken everything without regret. Until one night at a party, when he was very drunk, something more useful had appeared to him, wanting to take advantage of him as he had taken advantage of Miia. The situation was perfect and so the mutual abuse was unleashed. The struggle left both of the fighters unsatisfied but gasping for more. And so Rane was gone as sudden as he had stepped into Miia's life, leaving a hole. There was no one left that defined her, that told her who to be. But things were different now. She had found someone again, someone who took care of her. And the advice Juha whispered into her ear was much more comforting than Rane's demands.
The moon, behind a wall of clouds merely illuminated Rane’s bedroom as Miia lay next to him, a puff buried under his muscular arm. He seemed asleep, the sweat on the upper part of his monumental body had started to dry. Miia felt a painful sensation in her abdomen that just wouldn't go away. It was awkward. Still she didn't know whether to be angry at him or not. He had waited for her for months. He had been ready for it just weeks after they had started to go out. But she wasn't even sure if she was ready now. It had all been so easy in the beginning. The school's trip to the cottage in the woods. Jarko and she had been the only ones of the four of them that had gotten picked out for it. It had been real fun, going there on the bus, Jarko being in his best mood. For a couple of hours she had slept with her head resting on his lap. Tiny clouds sprinkled over the blue sky.
The cloud that had absorbed the light of the silver moon for an instance had passed but Miia knew that there were others to come. Arto's death was just months ago. Another sudden and drastic change in her life. Never before had a person so dear to her passed away. She just couldn't figure out how to deal with it. She felt like she owed to him the promise to think of him just as much as she would have if he had still been there, standing behind his grill, providing everyone with loving words. Her loss was more than just the weekends at the Sunset Hotel, it was more than Arto's good advice. It was even more than the consolatory pleasure of having Arto around. What she had lost was the ease of her childhood.
Tiny clouds. The bus had been parked about a quarter mile from the cottage. They had gotten their luggage out of it and Jarko had carried hers to where she'd pass the next days. Now everything was set up by the agile hands of the students, the sinking sun giving the tiny clouds that were spread over the evening sky a faint hint of orange. Miia and Jarko sat on an old tree trunk, him entertaining her with a passion. Suddenly she felt something heavy taking a seat next to her. It was Rane who now seemed very committed in starting a conversation with her. She let it happen but the ease was gone with the wind. Jarko watched them, knocked off the loop. His face looked like it had turned into stone.
Miia let her fingertips slide over Juha's even skin, drawing five lines of silver moonlight shadow onto his chest, closely in front of her eyes. For a moment she was afraid, the surface of his body might crack to take its place in a long row of dear things she had lost within the last months. She could hardly believe how shortly after the funeral it had been that the shouting at home increased again. It was worse than it had been the weeks after Niina had left. She had spent nights alone on her bed crying, hoping she might just get carried away by a blast of wind, back into a better life, a secure life.
Cherry blossom. Hei Miia! Watch it! Jarko gave her the glance again. What was that? A friendly smile? A challenging smile? A mocking smile? Her thoughts must have gotten carried away like one of the white blooms in the trees. Juha had started a discussion with Niina again. Over the line. No, moron! Her eyes shone furiously. And then a cascade of words rushed down on her, being turned into nothing but steam by her ever retorting lips. Now they had both come to a rest and it was Miia's turn.
She took a deep breath of cooling air that seemed to carry tiny particles of silver in it and inhaled some of the peaceful sleep that emerged from Juha's pores like dark fog. But now things were different. Now she had found a place to rest, knowing, that there was someone who could put everything back into its right place. As she breathed out, her body relaxed and she sank deeply into dreams of a better life, a secure life, a life in the past.
http://farm4.static.flickr.com/3030/2654776113_8ce0e20d56_m.jpg (http://farm4.static.flickr.com/3030/2654776113_8ce0e20d56_b.jpg)
Part I
______________________________
Chapter I
It had just ceased to rain. Silver moonlight fell onto Miia's bed again. But this time the male body it illuminated was lighter, more filigree. It had circumfluently touched her limbs, triggering a swirl of arousing sensations. This was the first time Miia had had the feeling that a man was not using her body for his own purposes. Juha had rather given her the feeling that he was worshiping it, every inch of his skin devoted to the cult. When her muscles had finally relaxed and she had breathlessly fallen back onto her pillows, it had been as if she woke up from a beautiful dream, still unable to fully understand what had just happened to her. Now her head rested on his chest, that regularly expanded and decreased but in a completely different rhythm than the heartbeat, that merely reached Miia's ear, so deep down was its origin.
Silver moonlight shining onto even skin. Beams of light split by drops of rain on the window. This was the first time Miia felt she had found a place to rest for ages. Usually, when she felt upset, she would crawl into Niina's bed to know that there was someone who could put everything back into its right place. When Niina left, Miia was surprised to notice how much those things had meant to her, still. They hadn't been as close as they used to be for years. Miia had found other friends, different friends. Friends her older sister despised. All of that had started out just after Miia had begun to date Rane. Now she wondered whether it had been worth it. But obviously it wasn't too late. The bond between her and her twin was still binding.
Cherry blossom was at its highpoint, making it look like wonderful smelling snow fell out of the perfectly cloudless sky. The sun shone warmly upon the tiny park in Kallio, close to the kid's house. Arto was standing behind the grill. Turned sausages, nipped on his beer (The one with the bear icon on the label), entertained all the three families at once. Miia knew him better than her own grandfather who lived way off in the woods, far beyond the Keha 3. Just now the adults were cracking up again on one of his jokes. Her mother lovingly leaning on her father's shoulder. Arto knew millions of jokes – or even thousands.
A cloud as black as pitch was chased over the silver moon and remembered Miia of other nights she had experienced. Nights of discomfort next to a man that had used her, that had shaped her, not caring about her natural form. It had seemed easy at first but now it turned out she had been mistaken. Rane had been a burden to her soul. But things were different now. She had given herself to him without protest and he had taken everything without regret. Until one night at a party, when he was very drunk, something more useful had appeared to him, wanting to take advantage of him as he had taken advantage of Miia. The situation was perfect and so the mutual abuse was unleashed. The struggle left both of the fighters unsatisfied but gasping for more. And so Rane was gone as sudden as he had stepped into Miia's life, leaving a hole. There was no one left that defined her, that told her who to be. But things were different now. She had found someone again, someone who took care of her. And the advice Juha whispered into her ear was much more comforting than Rane's demands.
The moon, behind a wall of clouds merely illuminated Rane’s bedroom as Miia lay next to him, a puff buried under his muscular arm. He seemed asleep, the sweat on the upper part of his monumental body had started to dry. Miia felt a painful sensation in her abdomen that just wouldn't go away. It was awkward. Still she didn't know whether to be angry at him or not. He had waited for her for months. He had been ready for it just weeks after they had started to go out. But she wasn't even sure if she was ready now. It had all been so easy in the beginning. The school's trip to the cottage in the woods. Jarko and she had been the only ones of the four of them that had gotten picked out for it. It had been real fun, going there on the bus, Jarko being in his best mood. For a couple of hours she had slept with her head resting on his lap. Tiny clouds sprinkled over the blue sky.
The cloud that had absorbed the light of the silver moon for an instance had passed but Miia knew that there were others to come. Arto's death was just months ago. Another sudden and drastic change in her life. Never before had a person so dear to her passed away. She just couldn't figure out how to deal with it. She felt like she owed to him the promise to think of him just as much as she would have if he had still been there, standing behind his grill, providing everyone with loving words. Her loss was more than just the weekends at the Sunset Hotel, it was more than Arto's good advice. It was even more than the consolatory pleasure of having Arto around. What she had lost was the ease of her childhood.
Tiny clouds. The bus had been parked about a quarter mile from the cottage. They had gotten their luggage out of it and Jarko had carried hers to where she'd pass the next days. Now everything was set up by the agile hands of the students, the sinking sun giving the tiny clouds that were spread over the evening sky a faint hint of orange. Miia and Jarko sat on an old tree trunk, him entertaining her with a passion. Suddenly she felt something heavy taking a seat next to her. It was Rane who now seemed very committed in starting a conversation with her. She let it happen but the ease was gone with the wind. Jarko watched them, knocked off the loop. His face looked like it had turned into stone.
Miia let her fingertips slide over Juha's even skin, drawing five lines of silver moonlight shadow onto his chest, closely in front of her eyes. For a moment she was afraid, the surface of his body might crack to take its place in a long row of dear things she had lost within the last months. She could hardly believe how shortly after the funeral it had been that the shouting at home increased again. It was worse than it had been the weeks after Niina had left. She had spent nights alone on her bed crying, hoping she might just get carried away by a blast of wind, back into a better life, a secure life.
Cherry blossom. Hei Miia! Watch it! Jarko gave her the glance again. What was that? A friendly smile? A challenging smile? A mocking smile? Her thoughts must have gotten carried away like one of the white blooms in the trees. Juha had started a discussion with Niina again. Over the line. No, moron! Her eyes shone furiously. And then a cascade of words rushed down on her, being turned into nothing but steam by her ever retorting lips. Now they had both come to a rest and it was Miia's turn.
She took a deep breath of cooling air that seemed to carry tiny particles of silver in it and inhaled some of the peaceful sleep that emerged from Juha's pores like dark fog. But now things were different. Now she had found a place to rest, knowing, that there was someone who could put everything back into its right place. As she breathed out, her body relaxed and she sank deeply into dreams of a better life, a secure life, a life in the past.