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bacchante
07-05-2008, 05:42 AM
Avatar
all and all and all fade away.
i saw smth in your virtual house.
that's, possibly, the most innocent thing.
or, perhaps, not.
but the memory of today morning went pale and wrinkled.
and i again turned into my avatar.
made of only one line inside emptiness.
and still copyrighted.


Experiment
throw me away.
make experiments on me.
'cause you're the kind of person who'll never be open.
you need pain to feed yourself.
take mine.
you need humiliation to place yourself into a comfortable armchair of fondled ambition.
i'm not sure i have one, but you can take it once you find.
you waste love.
you take it then shatter into components it has never included.
maybe you don't know that what is left at the bottom is not a void.
but just another indifference.


doves
desparation and fear are not as morbid as a few hours ago.
i just saw 23 white doves.
and a man's shadow on the third floor window of the opposite house.

ampoule
07-05-2008, 07:36 AM
"memory went pale and wrinkled"
"armchair of fondled ambition"
I love these lines and that ending on Avatar...oooo.
doves....chilling

blazeofglory
07-05-2008, 11:54 AM
Simple, economic and melodious.

goldenrod
07-06-2008, 04:17 PM
e pluribus unam.


goldenrod.

PrinceMyshkin
07-12-2008, 12:53 PM
I was late discovering these and your others but will certainly look for them from now on. Here, as I remarked re fishing, there is such directness, candour, the heart unbared! One does not, as a rule, extract individual lines from your poems: they are all of a piece, but I was especially taken with


Avatar
all and all and all fade away....
but the memory of today morning went pale and wrinkled.


maybe you don't know that what is left at the bottom is not a void.
but just another indifference.


doves
i just saw 23 white doves.
and a man's shadow on the third floor window of the opposite house.

About this last: it makes the hair stand up at the back of my neck!

dibyendra
07-12-2008, 01:57 PM
Great poems. I'm moved by the first two poems especially. Keep up your good work!!!:thumbs_up

bacchante
07-14-2008, 06:23 AM
Ampoule: i'm happy the mood was passed just the way it was written. and thanks for feeling it.

blazeofglory: i loved the word "economic" :) thank you!

PrinceMyshkin: i'm really touched. and so very grateful.

dibyendra: Thanks! Can't but keep up writing. "It's better to burn out than to fade away" ...