how happy are you

[motherhubbard]

after reading some news posted by the very informed Pussnboots I thought I'd ask my fellow litneters just how they are.

so- "Taking all things together, would you say you are very happy, rather happy, not very happy, not at all happy?"

[Virgil]

I'll have to give it a little thought. It's certainly either of the top two.

[motherhubbard]

if there were something more than very happy I would have chosen it, but these were the options listed in PnB's news post so I just went with that. I really am a very happy girl. Even when I'm having a blue day I'm very satisfied with my life. I do look forward to graduating though.

[Virgil]

if there were something more than very happy I would have chosen it, but these were the options listed in PnB's news post so I just went with that. I really am a very happy girl. Even when I'm having a blue day I'm very satisfied with my life. I do look forward to graduating though.

Ok, I've thought enough. I'm very happy. :) :D

[kratsayra]

I chose "rather happy" - I am very happy, but there are some overarching family issues that cloud my otherwise peaceful existence. If I was better able to deal with them, or if they could resolve themselves, then I'd more fully be able to choose "very happy"

[Weisinheimer]

I don't know how happy I am. Either not very or not at all. I feel kinda happy right now. Maybe since I do occasionally feel ok, that would put me in the not very category. Yep, that's what I'm going with.

[manolia]

Not sure. My mood changes. Right now i'd answer not at all, but then again it's morning and here i am back in my office :(

[Nostalgie]

Not very happy. :(

I'm 25 and still working towards an eventual doctorate's. This means, however, that I don't have the funds to travel and visit places of interest at a whim. Without my books and my constant craving to acquire new information, I would be downright depressed.

[RoCKiTcZa]

Happy enough to be classified a living entity, I guess...

And for one thing, I'm HUNGRY (like the wolf) ;)

David Cook still rocks. :) All right. Now I'm a great deal happier :p Though emo still. (As usual.:lol:)

Yeah, a lot of things are still missing in my life. And I'm losing them faster than I'm getting the ones that I want. :( Still, I am happy with what I've got and I thank God each day for making me the person I am--not exactly perfect, yet somehow lucky, especially because I am studying in a science high school, and not many people get to have that sort of opportunity. :D

[pussnboots]

I voted for very happy :)

[sprinks]

Very happy!! :) In general anyhow. Of course I have my downs.... But even still I'm almost always smiling through the tears.

I laugh waaaaayyyyy too much to not be happy :p

[sofia82]

If you asked me this before, I would choose not very happy. But now I can be very happy even in the unhappiest moments, this can be just for a few moments but I love this life and all I have although there are lots of problems. Even life is beautiful with these problems. It is my choise to live happily or not. After many years I choose to live happily ... no one is going to make me happy it is me just me! And now I feel fantastic.


Ok, I've thought enough. I'm very happy. :) :D

In ten minutes you decided you are very happy :D when I read your post I taught you will post a few days later. :D

[Brigitte]

Geez... I'm in such a minority. I'm "not very happy" ... but I mean it's hard to explain. I alternate between depressed and normal and happy...

I think as I get older I'll be happier. Right now I'm 19 and experiencing those growing up times of turmoil. xD

[Trystan]

"Not very happy". Meh . . . I'm fine most of the time, don't feel happy, don't feel unhappy.

[sofia82]

Geez... I'm in such a minority. I'm "not very happy" ... but I mean it's hard to explain. I alternate between depressed and normal and happy...

I think as I get older I'll be happier. Right now I'm 19 and experiencing those growing up times of turmoil. xD

I think so as you grow older you feel better ... when I was at your age I sometimes felt like that.

[kilted exile]

I voted for rather happy, but I think content would probably be a better way of putting it. There are some things missing in my life ( I would like a serious, stable relationship - think I am finally at a stage now where I could deal with it, unfortunately the face kinda destroys most chance of that occuring).

Some stuff I havent mentioned previously: The job I originally moved out here to do fell through. I am now in the crazy world of retail management. Receiving Manager of a well known store in this country. I am in fact just back home an hour ago after starting at 7 this morning. It is these circumstances that got me so annoyed when Sweets posted about rather being homeless than work a menial service industry job like flipping burgers. Life for me is fine though, I make enough money to live, I dont bring my work home with me, I get the weekends to myself, time to read at the weekend & enjoy myself etc. Just gotta sort out the relationship bit & all will be perfect.

[Virgil]

It does not surprise me that the younger people are in the two middle catagories. The transition to adulthood is rather difficult, stressful, and emotional.

[sofia82]

It does not surprise me that the younger people are in the two middle catagories. The transition to adulthood is rather difficult, stressful, and emotional.

Now I feel I am so old :D

[Gaiam]

I'm envious of all you "very happy" people out there! :p

[motherhubbard]

I would like a serious, stable relationship - unfortunately the face kinda destroys most chance of that occuring



I, for one, like the face Kilted. You have a handsome happy face! But maybe crawling through sewers should be reconsidered :p

[Scheherazade]

I think an important part of being happy is that you work hard at it. There are no ready made recipes or formulas for being happy for any of us. In the past, while growing up :D, I used to expect other people/things determine my happiness status... Parents, friends, teachers, bosses, things I could(not) afford/have determined how (un)happy I was. Whereas now, I know that I am the only one who is responsible for my own (un)happiness... And as long as one expects others make him/her happy, happiness will be hard to come by.

I have learnt that I would rather be in charge of my own life than let others have a say on how I should feel about myself and my life.

Kilted> If having a serious, stable relationship was based on "facial bauty", I am sure most of us would be out in the open! ;) I would like to believe that there is a Shrek or Fiona for each and every one of us out there (I should know! Even I have found one despite being a "witch with hair of snakes and moles on the nose"! ;))

[dramasnot6]

I agree with Scher. I once read somewhere that "Happiness is a choice that requires effort at times". Like 'greatness', happiness can be something you are born into,achieve and have thrust upon you. I think most people experience all three to some degree over the course of their lives.

Luckily, I have recently,for lack of any word that could completely capture how I have somehow come into such glorious happiness, 'discovered' an exceptional source of happiness that floods every other aspect of my life with joy. I therefore must complain of there being no "Extremely Happy" in the poll :p

[sofia82]

I'm envious of all you "very happy" people out there! :p

Hey, don't be envious just be happy ;)


I think an important part of being happy is that you work hard at it. There are no ready made recipes or formulas for being happy for any of us. In the past, while growing up :D, I used to expect other people/things determine my happiness status... Parents, friends, teachers, bosses, things I could(not) afford/have determined how (un)happy I was. Whereas now, I know that I am the only one who is responsible for my own (un)happiness... And as long as one expects others make him/her happy, happiness will be hard to come by.

I have learnt that I would rather be in charge of my own life than let others have a say on how I should feel about myself and my life.

Kilted> If having a serious, stable relationship based on "facial bauty", I am sure most of us would be out in the open! ;) I would like to believe that there is a Shrek or Fiona for each and every one of us out there (I should know! Even I have found one despite being a "witch with hair of snakes and moles on the nose"! ;))

Exactly, I agree with you. We should make happiness for ourselves no one will create it for us ... when we consider ourselves responsible for our own lives we can be happy ... you work hard at it

[Virgil]

I think an important part of being happy is that you work hard at it. There are no ready made recipes or formulas for being happy for any of us. In the past, while growing up :D, I used to expect other people/things determine my happiness status... Parents, friends, teachers, bosses, things I could(not) afford/have determined how (un)happy I was. Whereas now, I know that I am the only one who is responsible for my own (un)happiness... And as long as one expects others make him/her happy, happiness will be hard to come by.

I have learnt that I would rather be in charge of my own life than let others have a say on how I should feel about myself and my life.




Very well said Scher. You are exactly correct.

[andave_ya]

I'm very happy. As the majority of us are either very happy or rather happy, think there could be any connection to books? ;)

[motherhubbard]

I think an important part of being happy is that you work hard at it. There are no ready made recipes or formulas for being happy for any of us. In the past, while growing up :D, I used to expect other people/things determine my happiness status... Parents, friends, teachers, bosses, things I could(not) afford/have determined how (un)happy I was. Whereas now, I know that I am the only one who is responsible for my own (un)happiness... And as long as one expects others make him/her happy, happiness will be hard to come by.

I have learnt that I would rather be in charge of my own life than let others have a say on how I should feel about myself and my life.



I have one chid that has a hard time understanding this and I try very hard to make her 'see the light.' I wonder how you learned this important lesson? You give me hope fo her.


I therefore must complain of there being no "Extremely Happy" in the poll :p

I would have chosen extremely happy as well!

[sofia82]

I'm very happy. As the majority of us are either very happy or rather happy, think there could be any connection to books? ;)

I think so ... there is a great difference between those who are living with the books and those who are not reading any ... it is the case with the people around me ....

[Weisinheimer]

Ok, so everyone is saying that happiness isn't based on things or circumstances or other people. You are in control of your own happiness. That makes sense, but how to do force yourself to be happy? I've been depressed alot the last few years and I would go through phases when'd I'd think that my life would be so much better if I had a better job, car, more friends, a boyfriend etc. But then I'd realize that'd even if I did have all those things, I'd still be miserable. So I know it's not things that make you happy, but what is it?

[Pensive]

It's all very relative. Can't really generalise.

[aeroport]

Pretty flippin' hyped.
:D

[wilbur lim]

Let happiness and glee happen everyday,for I abhor depression and grief.I am,well,not a genuinely 'happy' person because I cannot attain my wishes.It is taxing to overcome the negative for it undermines postitive easily.

[Scheherazade]

Ok, so everyone is saying that happiness isn't based on things or circumstances or other people. You are in control of your own happiness. That makes sense, but how to do force yourself to be happy? I've been depressed alot the last few years and I would go through phases when'd I'd think that my life would be so much better if I had a better job, car, more friends, a boyfriend etc. But then I'd realize that'd even if I did have all those things, I'd still be miserable. So I know it's not things that make you happy, but what is it?This is such a hard question to answer because, I am sure, the answer is ver different for each and every one of us.

Even though I know it is somewhat of a Pollyanna attitude, I have come to appreciate the things I have (both materialistic and otherwise): Among my students, there are people who have had strokes and lost their ability to read, write or even to hold a pen properly. Thinking that the very same thing can happen to any one of us, I try to make best of what I have today. I am glad that I am healthy (more or less) and independent in many ways and have the people I care about around me. I was not very satisfied with certain things about my career so I have decided to make the necessary changes and taken big steps towards altering those circumstances that were bothering me (even though it means I will be making sacrifices and working probably twice harder).

Even if sometimes things don't go the way we want them to, being able to say "I have tried and done my best" is a happiness in itself too.

[jhonerliz]

I don't know how happy I am right now... I cant even say if I'm happy or not. Maybe a mix emotion. Happy I was able to watch my students giving their best in their basketball game :)but sad because they lost. :(

Happy because I'm in love with my husband :) and sad because I wasn't able to prepare his dinner before leaving for work. (happened that I came home late because of watching the basketball game of my students) :(

[blazeofglory]

Happiness is fleeting every time.

[Virgil]

Ok, so everyone is saying that happiness isn't based on things or circumstances or other people. You are in control of your own happiness. That makes sense, but how to do force yourself to be happy? I've been depressed alot the last few years and I would go through phases when'd I'd think that my life would be so much better if I had a better job, car, more friends, a boyfriend etc. But then I'd realize that'd even if I did have all those things, I'd still be miserable. So I know it's not things that make you happy, but what is it?


This is such a hard question to answer because, I am sure, the answer is ver different for each and every one of us.

Even though I know it is somewhat of a Pollyanna attitude, I have come to appreciate the things I have (both materialistic and otherwise): Among my students, there are people who have had strokes and lost their ability to read, write or even to hold a pen properly. Thinking that the very same thing can happen to any one of us, I try to make best of what I have today. I am glad that I am healthy (more or less) and independent in many ways and have the people I care about around me. I was not very satisfied with certain things about my career so I have decided to make the necessary changes and taken big steps towards altering those circumstances that were bothering me (even though it means I will be making sacrifices and working probably twice harder).

Even if sometimes things don't go the way we want them to, being able to say "I have tried and done my best" is a happiness in itself too.

This is such a great response from Scher. I completely agree. I have my health and family and a reasonably good life. What more could I want? Nothing. I have fun either at work, with my wife, and here on lit net. So I have my health, a good life, and I have fun. What more is there?

Scher, I wish you the best of luck with the changes you are making. I hope they work out perfectly. :)

[motherhubbard]

When I started this thread I was actually thinking of this woman who is always so happy. There are a million bad things that have happened to her family and she has suffered through so many things. Her first husband was not really the best guy, and when their three children were young he was in a motorcycle accident that left him with the mentality of a three or four year old. She cared for him for over 30 years. One of her children was brutally attacked in one of the most horrid crimes to happen in this area in the past 50 years. She survived, but it was touch and go and she is forever changed by the experience. She has cared for many sick and dieing relatives and is always busy doing for others. About a year after her first husband passed away she remarried. We were all so happy for her and she was excited to be wife to a husband instead of mother. A month after the wedding he suffered a severe stroke. It’s been about ten years and he can walk a little now, but he still cannot communicate.

I don’t know how she keeps her attitude. I admire her ability to keep going and doing for others. I admire her smile.

[blazeofglory]

I am fine.

[wilbur lim]

Of course one cannot be gleeful all the time.Trails and tribulations struck virtually everyday.

[WhimsySA]

I voted "rather happy". I am generally a jolly person although I do have a temper problem. There are always things in life that get us down, however it is up to you yourself to decide what you are going to let get you down. There are some pressing issues in my life that are bothering me and the time is drawing nearer for me to decide how I am to handle them, but for the moment I am not letting them bother me too much. After all, this is my last year in high school and I must enjoy it while it lasts!

[Annamariah]

I know I should be happy, but I'm not. I do try to be happy, but for some reason it doesn't work.

Things that should make me happy: I'm studying something I really enjoy and something that should make sure I'll get a job after I graduate. I don't have any financial problems. I have a couple of friends. I have a pretty good family (even if we don't always get along that well).

Why am I not happy then? I like studying, but sometimes it's just too much work and stress. I almost never see my friends, they're so busy with their lives and living in different towns makes things even more difficult. Without my flatmate (thank God for her) I'd be really, really lonely. I have an atopic skin which makes my life really difficult. Right now it's pretty bad, I wake up a couple of times every night because it hurts so much. I hate the fact my skin takes up all my thoughts and all my energy. I cannot forget it even for a moment.

[blazeofglory]

Happiness has no station. It is a river, a flow. It can not be retained.

Happiness is just a state of mind. When you are hungry you eat and during the process or activity you will bed happy and once it is over or the activity is over the state of or the intensity of happiness does not remain the same.

Happiness is not fully fulfillment or contentment. It is in part hunger and in part fulfillment, and in fact it is a mix of the two. It is not just the destination, but the path too, and of course it is to be out of the state of poverty but both the feeling of poverty, the memory that you were and now you are not anymore poor. Both in combination makes you happy.

It is not just reaching there, but going there too can be in the making of happiness.

[Scheherazade]

Scher, I wish you the best of luck with the changes you are making. I hope they work out perfectly. :)Thank you, kindly! :p
I don’t know how she keeps her attitude. I admire her ability to keep going and doing for others. I admire her smile.I wonder if we need to experience some kind of loss or threat to be able to appreciate the value of what we already have...

[blazeofglory]

In fact happiness is something relative and we can not say exactly wherein it lies and it may lie in a state without material profits and at times even if you can make a million you cannot achieve it. It is totally relative.

[ntropyincarnate]

i'm not at all happy. 'cause i'm screwed.

[wilbur lim]

Discernibly people are getting more melancholy these month.

[blazeofglory]

This is a funny question, isn't it?

But the truth of the matter or the fact of life is that we are mostly unhappy. If we are really happy we will not seek it doggedly and indefatigably.

We want God and there is a motive to seek God. The motive is God gives us eternal happiness.

We want to own lots of wealth thinking that with more money our level of happiness rises.

We want to marry, set up a home, beget babies, own vehicles, earn lots of money and have a good career.

Is happiness measurable or is lasting happiness can be attained through material achievement?

In life we have a few moments of happiness and mostly we are unhappy.

I do not have arrogance to say that I am mostly happy. Happiness comes but fleets in a fraction of a second.

Even if I get lotteries but after a time I feel unhappy or will return to the state I was in.

[kilted exile]

Who is unhappy? I aint unhappy, I aint searching for god - have no desire to, I can be perfectly happy without a god. I have no desire to own lots of money, fancy cars etc. happiness has nothing to do with material attachments or spiritual inclinations. It has to do with being content with yourself.

your life may be unhappy filled with few moments of happiness - mine is the complete opposite. For a lot of people it is the opposite, what is your basis for "mostly unhappy"? there was a thread fairly recently containing a poll asking how happy are you? the vast majority voted very happy or rather happy (72.5%) with only 10% saying they were not happy at all. link (http://www.online-literature.com/forums/showthread.php?t=36201&highlight=happy)

Perhaps if you are unhappy it is because you are searching for the wrong things.

[amarna]

These are thought-provoking ideas and I find them very inspiring, but I feel a little bit pocketed by this use of the word "we". I am really really not interested in wanting God, do not have any motive to seek it and am not unhappy. Either your "We" does not mean mankind or I do not belong to the mankind you're speaking of. :)

[Tsuyoiko]

This is a funny question, isn't it?

But the truth of the matter or the fact of life is that we are mostly unhappy. If we are really happy we will not seek it doggedly and indefatigably.

We want God and there is a motive to seek God. The motive is God gives us eternal happiness.

We want to own lots of wealth thinking that with more money our level of happiness rises.

We want to marry, set up a home, beget babies, own vehicles, earn lots of money and have a good career.

Is happiness measurable or is lasting happiness can be attained through material achievement?

In life we have a few moments of happiness and mostly we are unhappy.

I do not have arrogance to say that I am mostly happy. Happiness comes but fleets in a fraction of a second.

Even if I get lotteries but after a time I feel unhappy or will return to the state I was in.

I think you are unhappy because you have too many desires. Although I am an atheist, I think there's a lot of truth in the Buddhist idea that happiness comes through freedom from desires. I am mostly happy, and I think that's because I have provided myself with the basics of life, but I don't hanker after material possessions: I live the Middle Way.

I have cherished values, companionship, a comfortable home, a car, a part-time job and enough free time to pursue my interests via a laptop, a reliable internet connection, games consoles and a library card. If you want to put it another way, I'm childless at 34, live in a tiny house, drive an old banger, earn a low wage and don't have enough money to travel or buy nice things.

Happiness is about making the best of what you have.

[V.Jayalakshmi]

Dear Members,
I rather agree with Blazeglory.I have never been very happy for long.I have been reasonably happy for some time and now since some times in recent past very unhappy indeed.Why? I lost my only son in an accident. I am only wearing a mask of reasonable normalcy( Neither happy nor unhappy) now.For the first time in a thread since the originator wants seriouseness I have revealed a personal information.

The thread rather makes us look at ourselves if indeed we are serious.

[kilted exile]

Dear Members,
I rather agree with Blazeglory.I have never been very happy for long.I have been reasonably happy for some time and now since some times in recent past very unhappy indeed.Why? I lost my only son in an accident. I am only wearing a mask of reasonable normalcy( Neither happy nor unhappy) now.For the first time in a thread since the originator wants seriouseness I have revealed a personal information.

The thread rather makes us look at ourselves if indeed we are serious.

There is a strong implication here that if you do not answer that you are unhappy you are not being serious.

I am perfectly serious, I for one couldnt be happier

[NikolaiI]

I agree with Kilted and Tsuyoiko. My level of happiness is like Kilted's, the great majority of the time happy with occasional unhappiness. I agree with Tsuyoiko about freedom from desire. Actually I have reasoned this for a long time. Emerson's essay Self-Reliance is along these lines, and my philosophy of life is also. My philosophy is basically just to do good without attachment. It's all about balance, and about finding out and knowing who you are.

And also Kilted I agree about you with being serious. I am also very serious about some thing, and I also couldn't be happier.

[SleepyWitch]

I think an important part of being happy is that you work hard at it. There are no ready made recipes or formulas for being happy for any of us. In the past, while growing up :D, I used to expect other people/things determine my happiness status... Parents, friends, teachers, bosses, things I could(not) afford/have determined how (un)happy I was. Whereas now, I know that I am the only one who is responsible for my own (un)happiness... And as long as one expects others make him/her happy, happiness will be hard to come by.

I have learnt that I would rather be in charge of my own life than let others have a say on how I should feel about myself and my life.



I totally agree with Scher.
Nevertheless, I wouldn't call myself very happy. I think I'm one of those people who are - on the whole - er, content to be content and don't seek happiness. I suppose I'm lucky because I've never really expected material possessions to make me happy, so I didn't really need to learn a lesson in that respect (relatively speaking, of course, seeing as I live in a developed country and have everything I need to live).
Whenever I felt "happy", or thought I felt "happy", it was either a very intense feeling or I felt slightly light-headed. Of course, it didn't last, or otherwise it turned out to be based on illusions. Besides, it's in the nature of intense emotions that they cannot last long, otherwise they wouldn't be intense. What's more, who'd want to live in an irrational state of mind like this 24/7?
Anyways, I voted "rather happy", but on the other hand I do not strive to be any more happy than I am. So I suppose that makes me "very happy", even though I wouldn't call it that myself.

[Virgil]

Nevertheless, I wouldn't call myself very happy. I think I'm one of those people who are - on the whole - er, content to be content and don't seek happiness. I suppose I'm lucky because I've never really expected material possessions to make me happy, so I didn't really need to learn a lesson in that respect (relatively speaking, of course, seeing as I live in a developed country and have everything I need to live).
Whenever I felt "happy", or thought I felt "happy", it was either a very intense feeling or I felt slightly light-headed. Of course, it didn't last, or otherwise it turned out to be based on illusions. Besides, it's in the nature of intense emotions that they cannot last long, otherwise they wouldn't be intense. What's more, who'd want to live in an irrational state of mind like this 24/7?
Anyways, I voted "rather happy", but on the other hand I do not strive to be any more happy than I am. So I suppose that makes me "very happy", even though I wouldn't call it that myself.

You're a newlywed. If you're not happy now...:D

Anyways, looking at those last two sentences, it looks like pretzel logic. I'm twisting myself to try to understand it. :lol: Therefore it must mean you're happy. :D

[Jozanny]

I have episodes of intense misery from which I usually emerge, battle-scarred, with perhaps a wry intonation, to roll my broken body around another day, and I used to post about this in great detail; if I posted in communities where I presumed an ableist majority, I came to understand that able-bodied people become uncomfortable with those of us in pain and or experiencing suffering. And the person in pain who persists usually gets banned, or chastised in some form, online.

In mental health or disability forums, the chorus is that of so many agendas that mutual support is, in some sense, ineffectual. In real life I am just getting too worn down, but the same pressures apply. Aggressive behavior is, if not exactly punished, then constricted further down the line.

I have no idea what happy is. I was lucky enough, for a disabled woman, to have some interesting sex, if not love-making with those whom I beloved. I was also lucky enough to have a career which lasted a little longer than the interesting sex life, and when I am good enough, amid all that, I was accepted for publication, and more rarely performed my work, sometimes further still to a rare standing ovation, which was transformative, but I will never be happy, and will eventually have to make peace with a nursing home or invest in a method to circumvent that.

[motherhubbard]

Dear Members,
I lost my only son in an accident. I am only wearing a mask of reasonable normalcy( Neither happy nor unhappy) now.

I don't know how a person could be happy after that. Perhaps time will make it better. I don't know. I think it's the greatest loss a person could suffer and I'm sorry. I know that your life is forever changed. This would certainly be a sorrow that would be difficult to overcome. I don't know what would be more heartbreaking than the loss of a child.


I have no idea what happy is. I was lucky enough, for a disabled woman, to have some interesting sex, if not love-making with those whom I beloved. I was also lucky enough to have a career which lasted a little longer than the interesting sex life, and when I am good enough, amid all that, I was accepted for publication, and more rarely performed my work, sometimes further still to a rare standing ovation, which was transformative, but I will never be happy, and will eventually have to make peace with a nursing home or invest in a method to circumvent that.


But the truth of the matter or the fact of life is that we are mostly unhappy. If we are really happy we will not seek it doggedly and indefatigably.

We want God and there is a motive to seek God. The motive is God gives us eternal happiness.

We want to own lots of wealth thinking that with more money our level of happiness rises.

We want to marry, set up a home, beget babies, own vehicles, earn lots of money and have a good career.

Is happiness measurable or is lasting happiness can be attained through material achievement?

In life we have a few moments of happiness and mostly we are unhappy.

I do not have arrogance to say that I am mostly happy. Happiness comes but fleets in a fraction of a second.

Even if I get lotteries but after a time I feel unhappy or will return to the state I was in.

These two posts sound like you are looking for external sources of happiness. I think true happiness is internal.


Who is unhappy? I aint unhappy,... It has to do with being content with yourself.

your life may be unhappy filled with few moments of happiness - mine is the complete opposite.
Perhaps if you are unhappy it is because you are searching for the wrong things.


I think you are unhappy because you have too many desires. ... I think there's a lot of truth in the Buddhist idea that happiness comes through freedom from desires.

I'm in complete agreement with these two posts. I don't think I can express my happiness it is so great. That doesn't mean that my life is perfect. I do think that my lack of material desire has a lot to do with my happiness.





Whenever I felt "happy", or thought I felt "happy", it was either a very intense feeling or I felt slightly light-headed. Of course, it didn't last, or otherwise it turned out to be based on illusions. Besides, it's in the nature of intense emotions that they cannot last long, otherwise they wouldn't be intense. What's more, who'd want to live in an irrational state of mind like this 24/7?


Moments of joy and bliss shouldn't diminish one's sense of general happiness. That's just cherries on top!

[Jozanny]

These two posts sound like you are looking for external sources of happiness. I think true happiness is internal.

As a constant? I think states of being, mother, are episodic, and when it came to men, mother, you may be right, about external sourcing, but I am rather screwed up in my relation to the opposite sex and don't want to derail your poll.

My general state though, when I am not fighting with social services, is dissatisfaction. I wanted more from myself, and I lacked the will, and I am alarmed I won't have enough time to really achieve my best. This is not just mental laziness. It is difficult to work well without the proper medical equipment--and it seems the hatchet man's salary is more important to American insurance providers than the well-being of their patients. Our system is insane.

Then again, artists usually cannot be happy and be good at what they do. It is something of a stereotype, but still a truism, from what I know. Kafka had external circumstances much like my own, and his name is now an adjective.;)

[motherhubbard]

I understand your concerns and frustrations. When there is something you truly desire and have difficulty obtaining it can really put a damper on one's happiness. I think we all have things like that to one degree or another. And, of course, that is really subjective as we all perceive our trials and triumphs through our own perspective. I know that you have special challenges and frustrations to face that I really can't comprehend or relate to.

In my own life I look at what I have managed to build for myself and how I've been blessed beyond my own means. While I've not reached my goals I am working toward them. I want peace and understanding- I desire self actualization. I find happiness in the pursuit. It's a choice to be happy. I choose to be happy, to be thankful for what I have, to love people, and to hope even though I often face trials and hardships. There are moments that I feel blue, but overall I am exceedingly happy. But it's only because I choose to be. It's an active happy instead of a passive kind of happiness.

This is not to say that I have the kind of life that is to be admired. But, I take what comes and try to deal with it. Any of us can find reason to be unhappy. For some it can be a greater challenge to find reason to be happy.

[SleepyWitch]

You're a newlywed. If you're not happy now...:D



hum, I don't know. as it happens, I am happy. but I've never expected my hubby to make me happy. I mean, there are enough other things in life to worry about or be angry about. E.g. if a colleague gets on my nerves, I'll be angry with her and whether I'm a newlywed is neither here nor there.
Besides, why should I be any happier now than I was before getting married? The hubby and me have lived together for 2 years and been together for 3 1/2 years, so I don't see how getting married changes anything. Should I be happy now because he can't run away and has to stay with me forever? Or should I be happy because I'm a wife now while others are desperately looking for a partner? That would have more to do with insecurity, envy and spite than with happiness. If I'd been afraid about my hubby dumping me if I don't secure him by getting married, I'd have broken up with him right away and not married him in the first place.

[motherhubbard]

hum, I don't know. as it happens, I am happy. but I've never expected my hubby to make me happy.

I really like this statement. If we depend upon others for our happiness we are setting ourselves up for unhappiness. But, I get what Virgil was saying :p

[Virgil]

hum, I don't know. as it happens, I am happy. but I've never expected my hubby to make me happy. I mean, there are enough other things in life to worry about or be angry about. E.g. if a colleague gets on my nerves, I'll be angry with her and whether I'm a newlywed is neither here nor there.
Besides, why should I be any happier now than I was before getting married? The hubby and me have lived together for 2 years and been together for 3 1/2 years, so I don't see how getting married changes anything. Should I be happy now because he can't run away and has to stay with me forever? Or should I be happy because I'm a wife now while others are desperately looking for a partner? That would have more to do with insecurity, envy and spite than with happiness. If I'd been afraid about my hubby dumping me if I don't secure him by getting married, I'd have broken up with him right away and not married him in the first place.

Oh Sleepy, you're too rationale. :p

[Zee.]

I feel happy when i'm in balance. When i've been sleeping well, when i've gone to the gym, when i've engaged and rested my mind.

[NikolaiI]

Virgil, you're too sleepy. Ahahahaha :lol:

sorry :p

[Buh4Bee]

I think overall, I'm pretty happy. summer vacation doesn't hurt.

[Scheherazade]

hum, I don't know. as it happens, I am happy. but I've never expected my hubby to make me happy.Of course, not. As a good wife, you should aim to make your husband happy... And this in return will make you happy.

Should I be happy now because he can't run away and has to stay with me forever? Well, now that you are married, it is more likely that one or both of you would feel the urge to run away, actually. One does not experience such feelings that often while dating.
Or should I be happy because I'm a wife now while others are desperately looking for a partner?Oh, this is a definete bonus! You can always listen to your single friends' dating stories with a honey-sweet smile and comment, "Awww... I am sure there is someone for you out there, too. Just hang in there and keep looking."
If I'd been afraid about my hubby dumping me if I don't secure him by getting married, I'd have broken up with him right away and not married him in the first place.But then you wouldn't have been entitled to half of his earnings and earthly possessions!

:p

[blazeofglory]

It is really hard to say how happy I am. First happiness cannot be measured ordinarily. Happiness can not be contained and it fleets in a while. Happiness is something that turns up as flashes and vanish in the split of a second.

Yet I believe in happiness. It is so short-lived.

[Virgil]

Of course, not. As a good wife, you should aim to make your husband happy... And this in return will make you happy.


Goodness gracious. You must be an excellent wife Scher. :D If only more women were like you. :p

Now can you tell my wife that's the way it's supposed to be. I get tired of all the beatings and tongue lashings. :lol:

[NikolaiI]

Wow, it's amazing that all the options have a multiple of 5, and a different one at that.

(Currently they are, from top down, 15, 20, 10, 5)

[Mathor]

i chose rather happy. I am pretty happy, but i'm not REALLY happy. There's enough drama going on that I have some stressful and not so happy days, but recently I've been decently happy. If I could get things together financially, academically, family, relationships, and do all this without having any stress then i would be REALLY happy. But there's nothing wrong with being happy most of the time, and if i was happy ALL the time my life would probably just get boring ;)

[SilentRain]

All my happiness seems to come spontaneously...I could be sullen one moment then relatively happy the next. Don't know why though:p might be the way my brain is hard-wired.:D
Anyway i'm feeling kinda blue now so i chose not very happy

[dodong]

can i have the fifth choice?...none of the above...?I'm sooo bored...

Anyways, I think my Life is now much much better than before...no serious problems...so I think I'm rather happy...not really very happy because i still have a little worries about some stuff...

[Joreads]

I am really happy there is no point in being otherwise. I have everything I need and people love me what more could you want

[Jozanny]

I wonder if it is genetic, because I know I will never be happy. I can't, at this point. While I was gone I underwent a period of complete imprisonment in which my landlord threatened me due to that, and in a less than cautious gesture I flipped over on my head in a wheelchair more suited for the junkyard than for mobility use, and I survive this crap, endure it, but I'll never be free of it, until I have to give in to more restrictions as I age and lose my strength. My family squawks, and I make use of my ex in his limited fashion of being a loyal imbecile--I have no other support or I'd drop him faster than you'd flip hot cakes--but the only thing I have is anger that my agile mind has to waste when I was supposed to be the poster child for successful matriculation. As a general mass, I hate able-bodied society, and the only thing that might give me a week of joy is a genuine revolution against it.

[LMK]

I don't really know how to answer this, and it surprises me how many people ask me questions with the word "happy" in them. For example, "What makes you happy?"

I would say that "happy" to me is a set a part from regular life. All in all I am content and satisfied, but I do not think I would describe myself as happy. I laugh a lot. I'm not unhappy.

~L

[JuniperWoolf]

I'm not very, because someone that I love has a rare and serious heart condition that makes me worried. He's much too young to have undergone five major surgeries, and his next heart valve replacement is drawing near. This makes me more than a little bit obsessed with death.

I also have a problem with obsessive questions that no one can answer. Things like "where will my consciousness go after I die?" "Is it possible to be a good person?" "What is the point of existance?" "What is insanity?" "What are dreams?" "What is personality, and where does it come from?" "What is love?" "How did the universe start?" "What is the smallest particle of matter, and how can anything be the smallest?" "Why can't people be rational all the time?" "What compels me to ask questions?" The list goes on and on. It might not seem like much, but questions like these really do make me crazy. It's really frustrating too, because I'm not smart enough to understand most the complex answers that people have thought up to answer the complex questions (for example, string theory. I've tried very hard, I just DON'T get it).

[Scheherazade]

All said and done, I am glad to see that greater majority consider themselves on the "happier" side.

:)

[Niamh]

agreed.

[JuniperWoolf]

All said and done, I am glad to see that greater majority consider themselves on the "happier" side.

:)

Yeah, it really makes the science psychologist in me feel like passing out surveys to catch trends, but "happyness" has been done by so many desperate grad students that I'd feel cliche.

[Nightshade]

Ive been thinking about this I think I have to choose very happy. That sounds reluctant doesnt it? But I AM happy, Id raher her was a simply Happy category becasue I could be more content I guess but I am happy. And I am also glad things are not perfect because then I would be either bored or worrying someting was bound to go wrong and destroy it all. When I was little I used to think heaven sounded boring all in all, but Ive decided if its really bordome or the capcity to feel bored anyway would be eradicated. :D
So yes Very Happy not ecstatic but I hae so much to look forward to and keep me busy and better than all that Ihave plans on how to get what I want how could I not be happy?
:D

[Helga]

I am really happy there is no point in being otherwise. I have everything I need and people love me what more could you want

and that is all I want but don't have

[JuniperWoolf]

I don't know if I should ask, but how can any of you be "very happy" with all of the really AWFUL things that happen in the world? There's an entire continent starving. Human trafficking exists. We're killing the planet. If you live in a city, you walk past homeless drug-addicted people every day. Things are really bad (not to mention CUNFUSING, which is obviously what gets to me). How can you be happy when things are so wrong? Why SHOULD we strive to be happy?

[Nightshade]

I know I am going to regret this but here goes...

I don't know if I should ask, but how can any of you be "very happy" with all of the really AWFUL things that happen in the world? There's an entire continent starving. Human trafficking exists. We're killing the planet. If you live in a city, you walk past homeless drug-addicted people every day. Things are really bad (not to mention CUNFUSING, which is obviously what gets to me). How can you be happy when things are so wrong? Why SHOULD we strive to be happy?
Basically people are selfish, but it goes further than that. The way I see it is this, there was a time when I made myself physically sick on a not infrequent basis over the social injustices and poverty and all in the world that I had no control over, being miserable about it doen't change the fact the world stinks it just slows us doen in any attempt to make it better. I personally think you need t make the best with hat you have be happy about it and yes very pollyanna but a little spreading of happiness and goodwill does more good than spreading misery and guilt. I know most of the homless druggie alchies living between the curry mile and central library in manchester by site or o day hello to. I even know how a couple of them like their coffee and I thin they would rather be treated like norml people and have a laugh or two with whatever charity you are handing out, a spoon of sugar and all that.

[JuniperWoolf]

It seems like you felt just like how I currently do. If mankind were REALLY selfish, then why would we feel that way? I hear people saying that crap all the time, and I don't think that we are selfish. If we were, then how do you explain guilt? I've asked around, and none of my psych professors can give me a reason why guilt is beneficial to an indevidual (beyond the old "everything for the sake of the group" evolutionary cooperation theories, which are overly-fit and lacking). I often think that we SHOULD feel bad, because most other poeple who aren't in the first world have no choice, not to mention a lot of people who are starving to death and losing their homes in rich nations. Most people who exist in the world have to deal with deplorable conditions, and the only way to stop that is to confront it head on, and to stop pretending that it doesn't exist. I'm not talking about charity, I'm talking about fundamental change. If everyone felt as sick as I very often do, things would happen. I don't care if people have to be guilted into opening their eyes, as long as they do. I also don't see how me being happy and bubbly in any way helps people who are miserable. I think that that "goodwill, if you love your life then you put a little bit more love in the world" idea is a whitewash: it's people who just happen to be lucky enough to live in desireable conditions justifying their position so that they can live comfortably (I am NOT(!!!) attacking you, Nightshade).

Edit: I don't mean to preach, I just really do want your input. These things often bother me a lot.

[qimissung]

I don't think feeling "bad" is helpful, though, JuniperWoolf. If you truly feel that way then I think you should choose a cause you find worthy and work toward a fundamental change in that area.

It is the wise person who can look around them and really see all that is in the world, the good and the bad (and the ugly) and not let them affect them adversely, but not be blind to these things either.

And your friend, motherhubbard, is unusual. I think there is a belief in this country that we should be like her and if we only put our minds to it, we would. I have lived with someone who has experienced genuine depression, and it just doesn't always work that way.

I believe there is something to the idea of thinking positively, however. I have read that thinking or talking each day of good things in our lives does seem to bring about a more positive mindset.

I voted for "rather happy." Like Scher I need to take steps to change my job. I work in a highly stressful atmosphere. I did look around this summer, but there is not a lot available at the moment.

Oh, and I just had two teeth pulled, so today I'm "not very happy." :D

[Virgil]

Oh, and I just had two teeth pulled, so today I'm "not very happy." :D

Ouch! Poor Qimi. Hope you feel better.

[qimissung]

Thank you! So do I! :)

[blazeofglory]

Happiness is something immeasurable and incalculable. You cannot rate the level of happiness the way a seismographic measurement is used. Or there is no barometer to gauge it.

Yet I say that happiness has somewhat to do with stress as well. As regards stress level I feel that those residing in metropolitan cities a have higher levels of stress than those who dwell in village communities or those who work mired in cornfields live comparatively a happier and a little more unstressed life. Not that there is no stress, there is plenty but not as deep and harrowingly intense with those who live in mega cities

[hoope]

As happy as i want to :-)

[Scheherazade]

I don't know if I should ask, but how can any of you be "very happy" with all of the really AWFUL things that happen in the world? There's an entire continent starving. Human trafficking exists. We're killing the planet. If you live in a city, you walk past homeless drug-addicted people every day. Things are really bad (not to mention CUNFUSING, which is obviously what gets to me). How can you be happy when things are so wrong? Why SHOULD we strive to be happy?One does not look too far to witness horrible things... And I am sure almost all of us have enough "tragedy" in our lives to provide enough material for soap writers for at least three seasons.

However, it is important to stress here that "happiness" does not necessarily mean going out to party at all costs. Like Qimi above me mentioned, we can still be aware of others' miseries without losing the faith... Be aware and do something about those actively while still keeping our head above the water.

[blazeofglory]

I was happy a little time ago, and now suddenly the barometer of happiness, if measurable at all, has gone down.

I was happy to eat something and when the eating was over that kind of happiness got over.

[Lacra]

I voted for "rather happy". Something inside me doesn't allow me to feel "very happy".. I try to see the good side in everything. An intelligent and skilful person transforms losses into profits. I educated myself to not feel overly troubled when I am afflicted with sickness or a loss in wealth.In the past I used to suffer because I used to set too high expectations. Not anymore! :)

[Scheherazade]

The OP:
after reading some news posted by the very informed Pussnboots I thought I'd ask my fellow litneters just how they are.

so- "Taking all things together, would you say you are very happy, rather happy, not very happy, not at all happy?"

[Maximilianus]

I thought I knew the definition of happiness. I don't.

[dafydd manton]

Right now? Ridiculously happy, to a level I didn't know possible! But, it wasn't always so, so take heart. If "stupidly content" can happen to me, it can to you as well.

[Maximilianus]

Right now? Ridiculously happy, to a level I didn't know possible! But, it wasn't always so, so take heart. If "stupidly content" can happen to me, it can to you as well.
I'll try to keep it in mind http://smiles.kolobok.us/artists/just_cuz/JC_thinking.gif

[dafydd manton]

No reason why not, Max! No reason at all.

[Propter W.]

I'm satisfied and content with life.

[Gladys]

Happy as I began this post: desolate on finishing.

[altheskeptic]

A lot happier than yesterday. The I.R.S. is going to give me a refund. :hurray:

[faithosaurus]

This one was difficult.
I put "rather happy" because I'm content, but I'm more stoic than anything.
(Hence why my stepfather told me I have a heart of stone because I didn't cry at my grandfather's funeral).

[Maximilianus]

(Hence why my stepfather told me I have a heart of stone because I didn't cry at my grandfather's funeral).
'cause people often want us to cry in public.

[MystyrMystyry]

Things I would like to improve in myself include to not so swift to reply without first checking the membership date or country of origin of posters.

I've made a few throw away comments and cracked witticisms that I later think get misinterpreted as gnarly (probably not, but I'd like to stop feeling that way)

Other than this slight tinge of regret I'm like the tip of the iceberg and I'm about to post the first chapter of my new novel (criticise it whist it's in progress and be damned!)

I also stumbled upon a forgotten olde worke that I'd like to polish some.

I'm a bit worried about posting because I'm a bit of a perfectionist, and I really don't want to be seen to be showing off (curiously I don't care if others do, and actually like it when they are - so bring it on Showoffs, showoff whatcha got!)

I wrote a short short story which was just the barest essence of a tale, perhaps I should start with that?

Here goes:




It’ll never work.
Yes it will - you’ll see.

Or not, if it does.
When it does.

And when is when?
After this final adjustment...

He put the spanner down, placed his hand on the lever, and they looked into each others eyes for the last time.

And together they became invisible.

[Silas Thorne]

If you are only happy as the person you feel, does that mean happy polygamists are even more happy than happy monogamists?

[faithosaurus]

'cause people often want us to cry in public.

Exactly. He wasn't exactly being fair about it, and honestly if I could cry over it I would have just so I wouldn't have looked as 'heartless' (though it really isn't all that heartless).

[Maximilianus]

If you are only happy as the person you feel, does that mean happy polygamists are even more happy than happy monogamists?
Sounds like it makes sense :p


Exactly. He wasn't exactly being fair about it, and honestly if I could cry over it I would have just so I wouldn't have looked as 'heartless' (though it really isn't all that heartless).
Also, some of us prefer to cry in private, under our own methods, away from the scrutiny of society and "society's crying procedures."

[MystyrMystyry]

If you are only happy as the person you feel, does that mean happy polygamists are even more happy than happy monogamists?

Yes we are, if promiscuity counts. It's its own reward after all

[Lote-Tree]

after reading some news posted by the very informed Pussnboots I thought I'd ask my fellow litneters just how they are.

so- "Taking all things together, would you say you are very happy, rather happy, not very happy, not at all happy?"

Happiness is very subjective.

One man's (or woman's) happiness is another man's (or woman's) sorrow.

I think better question would be perhaps - what level or degree of freedom you feel in your life...just a thought...

[jmnixon95]

Rather happy.

[Cunninglinguist]

Not at all happy…

It is strange that people should tend to measure their happiness by how much they want, or, rather, don’t want. They say, I don’t want much, I am satisfied, and therefore I am happy. Yet, I have always found deep unhappiness rooted in my lack of desire. Or, perhaps what makes me unhappy is a perverted want of nothing that can never quite be satisfied.

I do believe that you are responsible for making yourself happy, yet happiness can only be achieved if circumstance has enabled you to achieve it. There are clear cases where circumstances prevent people from procuring those things necessary for their happiness. Thus, I don’t think that happiness is wholly a matter of “working hard at it,” for some people it’s just impossible.


I don't know if I should ask, but how can any of you be "very happy" with all of the really AWFUL things that happen in the world? There's an entire continent starving. Human trafficking exists. We're killing the planet. If you live in a city, you walk past homeless drug-addicted people every day. Things are really bad (not to mention CUNFUSING, which is obviously what gets to me). How can you be happy when things are so wrong? Why SHOULD we strive to be happy?

Because by being unhappy you’re making the world stink that much more.

[chipper]

some days are better than the others.

i'll take my happiness where i can find them.

[blithe spirit]

I chose rather happy because I won't be very happy
until there is no more child abuse, injustice, natural disasters,
consumerism, ecological irresponsibility, thieves, war, etc etc etc...
...perhaps I'm overthinking it :nopity: