Let us not parse this love

[PrinceMyshkin]

Let us not parse this love
nor answer with passionate argument
why though it should not,
cannot be,
yet it must.

Down the corridor there’s a room
where awaiting us
is a council of Imams, Rabbis, Priests,
metaphysicians, Lacanian Psychologists, &c.,
with their notebooks, their
Blackberries, microscopes, long-view
telescopes, all waiting for us
to explain or justify ourselves.

How about we
just tip-toe by and head,
instead, for the quiet bedroom
next door?

[Virgil]

That first stanza had such promise Prince. It seemed a little bit of a let down afterward, not poetically but in theme. I laughed when I read "blackberries." I have a blackberry from work and as I read that i felt placed inside that room, scrolling down my list of emails as I await the central characters of the poem. :lol: It was fun at least, but I do think that first stanza potentially offers so much more.

[Scheherazade]

but I do think that first stanza potentially offers so much more.I feel the same way too... A promising beginning seems to be somewhat trivialised at the end. However, it might be the case that you were merely having fun... tongue-in-cheek, maybe?

Like "boys will be boys" or "they think about every seven seconds" after all...

[goldenrod]

Wild blows the wind, but how did you know the bedroom was there?


goldenrod.

[Sweets America]

Let us not parse this love
nor answer with passionate argument
why though it should not,
cannot be,
yet it must.

Down the corridor there’s a room
where awaiting us
is a council of Imams, Rabbis, Priests,
metaphysicians, Lacanian Psychologists, &c.,
with their notebooks, their
Blackberries, microscopes, long-view
telescopes, all waiting for us
to explain or justify ourselves.

How about we
just tip-toe by and head,
instead, for the quiet bedroom
next door?


I love it very much. The ending is kind of mischievous, you know, I feel something of childhood in it, let's not let our parents rationalize everything with their serious talk, no, instead let's just take each other's hand and have fun. The tip-toe thing adds to this feeling of mine. There's a spirit of freedom, innocent freedom, virginal love, like a breath of fresh air, and that's why for me this ending is very appropriate, especially in how it contrasts with the serious tone of the previous stanzas. I love that for this last stanza, you found the simplicity it needed. That sounds so right to me. We have to escape from a world like the one you described here. Very well done, Shoutie! You know you're a kiddo. :)

[CdnReader]

Let us not parse this love
nor answer with passionate argument
why though it should not,
cannot be,
yet it must.

That opening line is a real killer, and I utterly adore this first stanza.... utterly. :)

[PrinceMyshkin]

That first stanza had such promise Prince. It seemed a little bit of a let down afterward, not poetically but in theme. I laughed when I read "blackberries." I have a blackberry from work and as I read that i felt placed inside that room, scrolling down my list of emails as I await the central characters of the poem. :lol: It was fun at least, but I do think that first stanza potentially offers so much more.

I MORE THAN agree with you Virge: "more" in that I don't think the two halves (the first stanza vs the rest of it) belong in the same poem. I was very conscious of using a formal, somewhat archaic diction or syntax in that first verse and Sweets notwithstanding, there's no bridge to carry us from the 18th c. to the 21st. Thanks.

Might rework it to continue in the mode of the first stanza, the "high" poetic style.