On Reading Creeley

[_Shannon_]

On First Reading Creeley

I come to you as a virgin
wide eyed, expectant, apprehensive.
I fumble around with your buttons
not knowing where to put my hands.
I am empty before you enter me
only half allowing this violation.

Pleasurable pain as you
wriggle deep within me.
Afterwards

I smoke a cigarette
breathing with slow, exasperating swallows.
I turn my head to the dim street light
beautiful in the shadow of girlhood.

I come at you again;
this time ferociously.

[PrinceMyshkin]

On First Reading Creeley

I come to you as a virgin
wide eyed, expectant, apprehensive
I fumble around with your buttons
not knowing where to put my hands
I am empty before you enter me
only half allowing this violation.

Pleasurable pain as you
wriggle deep within me.
Afterwards

I smoke a cigarette
breathing with slow, exasperating swallows
I turn my head to the dim street light
beautiful in the shadow of girlhood.

I come at you again;
this time ferouciously.

Wonderful! And every poet dreams of having such a relationship with a reader. Creeley was of the Black Mountain School, wasn't he? In any case it must be years since I read him and with this recommendation from you I will google some of it up tomorrow.

[blp]

Nice. Accurate. He has a way of getting inside one. (I say that as one of his male, heterosexual readers.:D)

Couple of small nits: you spelled ferociously wrong. And, in my view, if you're going to punctuate at all in this, you need to be consistent, i.e. put in periods wherever they're needed, as follows:

I come to you as a virgin,
wide eyed, expectant, apprehensive.
I fumble around with your buttons,
not knowing where to put my hands.
I am empty before you enter me,
only half allowing this violation.

Pleasurable pain as you
wriggle deep within me.
Afterwards

I smoke a cigarette
breathing with slow, exasperating swallows.
I turn my head to the dim street light,
beautiful in the shadow of girlhood.

I come at you again–
this time ferociously.

I mean, punctuation is always up for debate, but, well, that's how I'd do it.

[_Shannon_]

Thanks, blp--lol- I typed frouciously (lol--see I did it again--) ummm, I mean ferociously wrong -I am an awful typist--thanks for pointing it out....it's always appreciated!

I wrote it a long while ago--and I think I agree with you about the punctuation now--I think I will wdit it now.

ANd yup- Creeley is Black Mountain....and ugh I love him!!!!

[blp]

Me too.

In fact, I think I'm going to read some now.

[_Shannon_]

This poem seemed sort of related, as it's about reading poetry:

"Pellucid"

Reading Stevens this morning
and it rose up and tackled me
chortling in accomplishment,
Standing over me in playful menace.

And I demanded to know:
What kind of word ARE you?
WHERE did you come from?
And just WHAT are you doing in this poem?