Experiment: Prologue-The Angel

[ScarlettEclipse]

Ok this is a little sci-fi thing I randomly threw together for some reason. I got the idea during a Firefly marathon...lol...but I sorta liked it. This might be it but I don't know...so I thought, I'd get some opinions from other people. The start is a bit unpolished though so give it a chance.

Prologue: The Angel

The flames of home reflected in Areceli’s sky blue eyes as she stood far away on the beach. Everything was gone, what she once knew was demolished by not only flames but the men who invaded her home. She scanned the entire village, which was engulfed by ravenous flames. Only minutes ago, she was sitting at dinner with her family when suddenly soldiers came into their home. Her mother was the first to die then it was her father, but she was able to escape with her brother following. Her brother had told her to wait on the beach because he needed to rescue the love of his life, but there she was waiting and there was no sign of her brother.


Araceli stumbled backwards stumbling over small stones that protruded from the sand. She fell flat on her back and laid there for a few seconds wondering if it was worth it to move on. There was no way his brother was going to make it out of there, he was dead like her mother and father. She closed her eyes picturing her brother lying somewhere with his eyes wide open and blood surrounding his head as flames slowly crept toward his body.


Screaming, Araceli opened her eyes and leapt to her feet. Tears cascaded down her cheeks as she looked back at her home before she started to run toward the water. She stopped when the water rose to her kneecaps and here she pushed her head under water waiting for her lungs to shrivel. It only took seconds for them to start to burn, she longed to take a breath but that would defeat the purpose of her actions. Within a few more seconds, her vision started to blur and the out of the corners of her eyes she could see darkness speeding toward her. Then…everything went black and the next thing she knew she was laying in the light looking up at an angelic face. A young man with a halo hanging over his head was leaning over her, looking straight into her eyes. Araceli sat up examining the young man while he sat there in front of her. It was hard to make out who he was exactly because the light was so bright, but she was able to tell he also had wings.


“An angel,” Araceli whispered before falling backwards into the darkness.

[Captain_Kuchiki]

This is a pretty good prologue so far. But you say it's sci-fi and there's nothing sci-fi in it. If you mean the angel, angels are fantasy, not sci-fi. And the invaders' attack isn't explained, unless you plan to exlplain it in the rest of the story. Good job so far.

[black butterffl]

well i seriously liked it ;) , howeber captain was right
but good job :D

[ScarlettEclipse]

Ha yeah, there isn't too much here but the rest of the story it's real obvious sci-fi stuff. This is only a distant memory a charactar has and if it helps, the 'angel' isn't really an angel it's a normal man and there's all this fun stuff with mutations and genetic engineering like a mix of X-Men and Dark Angel. But yeah...that's all explained later.

[ScarlettEclipse]

Ok, I actually went back and tried to clean some things up. Also one of my friends made some suggestions but I have a few questions...like is this too much...everything is important and goes on later...Help please!!

The raging fire was reflected in Areceli’s sky blue eyes as she stood far away on the beach. Everything was gone, what she once knew was demolished by the men who invaded her home. While trembling she sobbed while she watched in horror as her home fell into burnt splinters. Only minutes ago, she had been sitting at dinner with her family when suddenly soldiers came into their home. Her mother was the first to die, shot down like an animal. Then it was her father who fell down beside her mother with a knife protruding from his chest. But she was able to escape with her brother following. She knew she would never forget sprinting through the village as people screeched while wood crashed; the smoke had smothered her making it harder for her to run. And that was not even including the fact men everywhere chased after her but for awhile; her brother was able to defend her before she crawled through a small area to escape. It was a blessing that she was still young and small. But when she took this other path, her brother told her to wait on the beach because he needed to rescue his girlfriend, but there she was waiting and there was no sign of her brother. Over and over again she tried to tell herself he was alive, he was alive but the smell of burnt flesh hung in the air frightening her. He was most likely never coming back for her, he probably never even made it to his girlfriend…already it was hard enough to escape with all the men attacking them…it was amazing that she was able to make it out of there without even being harmed by a single bullet.

Araceli attempted to run away but it was hard while her thoughts were jumbled with the loss of her family; she ended up, falling flat on her back and laid there for a few seconds wondering if it was worth moving on without her family, her life. There was no place to go, all her aunts and uncles were dead, too. This was not the first time such events took place, all over the planet soldiers were conquering land left and right. And now they hit home violently stealing her life away and as if that was not bad enough, still her brother had yet to leave the city. There was no way her brother was going to return to her, she would never see him again; he was dead like her mother, like her father…like-like everybody. She closed her eyes picturing her brother lying somewhere with his eyes wide open and blood surrounding his head while the greedy fire slowly stalked toward his body prepared to devour him.

Araceli opened her eyes and leapt to her feet screaming out of anguish as tears cascaded down her cheeks. Unable to look back at her loss, she charged into the water to the point where she could hardly stand; there forced her head under the water longing for her lungs to shrivel. It would be impossible for her to leave on especially with the emptiness in her heart, everybody she loved was dead. It only took a few seconds for them to start to burn, the task was almost complete. Her lungs felt as if they were going to combust or they felt as if they were going to disintegrate at any moment, it was hard to tell because she still had stabbing thoughts of the horrific death of her family flashed before her eyes over and over again.

Within a few more seconds, her vision started to blur, out of the corners of her eyes she could see darkness speeding toward her. At last, everything went black but the next thing she knew, she was lying in the light looking up at an angelic face. A young man with a brilliant halo with its light jutting out over his head was leaning over her, looking straight into her eyes. Araceli sat up examining the young man while he sat there in front of her. It was hard to make out who he was exactly because the light was too bright to the point it almost blinded her. But after awhile, her eyes gradually adjusted to the light and she was able to tell he also had huge white wings.

“An angel,” Araceli whispered before falling backwards into the darkness