fresh off the top of my head

[jikan myshkin]

Beyond the pail
Of the moonlit night
I find you lying on your side
Where the angels tread with glee
I find you naked lying beside of me
And if the Devil should choose to tempt
Me with your celestial bliss
Then take my eyes and blind me
From other beauties that I might see
And if the waves should wash against your face
And your eyes lock into mine
Then it is not fear that causes me to flee
But rather the promise of another dawn

[goldenrod]

It seems the author is in a bit of a bind!:)

Might I, timidly suggest, that you might like to change "pail" to "pall"?

Other than the typo aside, I found it interesting.

goldenrod.

[PrinceMyshkin]

How splendid! Simultaneously spiritual and sensual!!!!

[blazeofglory]

You wrote beautifully seeing things, the beauty of the object beyond the seen.

[amanda_isabel]

lovely, jikan myshkin, really.

one tiny glitch though: in the fifth line, "I find you naked lying beside of me", should just be, "I find you naked lying beside me."

Cheers!