kelby_lake
05-29-2008, 07:55 AM
It is part of a collection of short final scenes I am intending to use. I'd like some analysis please. :)
(Neil and Penny are a young married couple. They are both dance teachers. The action is set in their studio. Both auditioned for a dance troupe previously. Penny has told Neil that she has got the job
(Neil is standing by the exit with his back to the door and Penny is facing it)
NEIL: Have you got your things?
PENNY: (absently) Yes.
NEIL: Good. (notices her blank tone I see that love cannot disguise my jealousy.
PENNY: I had to go.
NEIL: (sighs) I understand. It's a once in a lifetime offer- four years with a Broadway dance troupe. (suddenly realising how big that is) Wow.
(Penny spots a man walk to the exit of the door and wait behind Neil. This is Adam, Penny's lover)
PENNY: It'll be a big change.
NEIL: (masking sadness) I hope you enjoy it.
PENNY: The job? Yes, I will. (Adam smiles at her)
NEIL: Um...goodbye then, I guess. Write me, won't you?
PENNY: (quietly, nonplussed) Are you going to wait for me?
NEIL: (nods) Of course.
PENNY: (guilty, but embarrassed, almost repulsed by his devotion) I may not get time to write. I'll be very busy, y'know, with the dance.
NEIL: I know. It took us ages when we put on dance productions. Remember when that girl twisted her ankle doing an arabesque?
PENNY: (bored of reminiscing. Lifts her bags) I must go now. (Neil tries to hug her as she exits but misses his chance)
ALEX: (to Penny) I'll put your stuff in the car.
NEIL: (unaware of Alex and overly cheerful) Byeee! (to himself) I'd have loved that, I would. (He exits through a side exit) I'll take a walk.
(In the dance studio the answermachine beeps and a message plays)
CALLER: Congratulations, Neil! We were astounded by your routine and we'd love to invite you into Broadway Dance Group! Just call back at 5:00 today to confirm, so we know that you want to join.
ANSWERPHONE MACHINE: This message was left today, at 12:30PM
(The clock chimes 5:15 and the hands are at that position)
(Neil and Penny are a young married couple. They are both dance teachers. The action is set in their studio. Both auditioned for a dance troupe previously. Penny has told Neil that she has got the job
(Neil is standing by the exit with his back to the door and Penny is facing it)
NEIL: Have you got your things?
PENNY: (absently) Yes.
NEIL: Good. (notices her blank tone I see that love cannot disguise my jealousy.
PENNY: I had to go.
NEIL: (sighs) I understand. It's a once in a lifetime offer- four years with a Broadway dance troupe. (suddenly realising how big that is) Wow.
(Penny spots a man walk to the exit of the door and wait behind Neil. This is Adam, Penny's lover)
PENNY: It'll be a big change.
NEIL: (masking sadness) I hope you enjoy it.
PENNY: The job? Yes, I will. (Adam smiles at her)
NEIL: Um...goodbye then, I guess. Write me, won't you?
PENNY: (quietly, nonplussed) Are you going to wait for me?
NEIL: (nods) Of course.
PENNY: (guilty, but embarrassed, almost repulsed by his devotion) I may not get time to write. I'll be very busy, y'know, with the dance.
NEIL: I know. It took us ages when we put on dance productions. Remember when that girl twisted her ankle doing an arabesque?
PENNY: (bored of reminiscing. Lifts her bags) I must go now. (Neil tries to hug her as she exits but misses his chance)
ALEX: (to Penny) I'll put your stuff in the car.
NEIL: (unaware of Alex and overly cheerful) Byeee! (to himself) I'd have loved that, I would. (He exits through a side exit) I'll take a walk.
(In the dance studio the answermachine beeps and a message plays)
CALLER: Congratulations, Neil! We were astounded by your routine and we'd love to invite you into Broadway Dance Group! Just call back at 5:00 today to confirm, so we know that you want to join.
ANSWERPHONE MACHINE: This message was left today, at 12:30PM
(The clock chimes 5:15 and the hands are at that position)