Smoogles
05-28-2008, 01:21 AM
We were assigned as a class to go out and do some graveyard poetry. I am very new to this poetry thing and I find it extensively interesting, so any suggestions and/or constructive criticism would be nice.So here it is:
To a man
Cervando, such a unique name
Your bed seems to stand out;
Your posts aren’t the same
And it seems to let out a shout.
I saw your grave from a distance,
Your fortress was one of solitude.
People before us giving sweet penance,
their memory speaks of you during their short interlude.
Considering the nature of your fort
You seem to have had your life cherished by others
Now you linger in heavens court
You live in the wake of former lovers
The protection of your father
Is shown through architecture.
It seems that age is not a bother
Although it may be shown in texture
So now I leave you to rest
And you wave goodbye in a breeze;
As it always will be,
You waving to me.
Be gentle please :[. I would like to see how I can improve my writing I know I am novice at it.
To a man
Cervando, such a unique name
Your bed seems to stand out;
Your posts aren’t the same
And it seems to let out a shout.
I saw your grave from a distance,
Your fortress was one of solitude.
People before us giving sweet penance,
their memory speaks of you during their short interlude.
Considering the nature of your fort
You seem to have had your life cherished by others
Now you linger in heavens court
You live in the wake of former lovers
The protection of your father
Is shown through architecture.
It seems that age is not a bother
Although it may be shown in texture
So now I leave you to rest
And you wave goodbye in a breeze;
As it always will be,
You waving to me.
Be gentle please :[. I would like to see how I can improve my writing I know I am novice at it.