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View Full Version : something i wrote for mother's day



abgunner10
05-23-2008, 02:29 PM
a little cheesy, imo, but id like to hear what you guys think...

That a Mother is an Artist


That a mother is artist
Is what I wish to prove;
Though not a famed purveyor of
Winsome portraits to the Louvre

Hers is instead a different art,
One with incessant demand:
At dawn she paints with ardent fire
Fruitful baskets, all freehand

By midmorn she progresses;
Expansive blankets does she weave,
Thick with warm security,
A child’s soft reprieve.

A sculptor, too, is mother
With a strength that edges God:
‘tis all well and good to mold from clay;
She must etch through stubborn rock.

And humble, too, are her works, dwarfed
By Raphael’s creative girth;
He captured Heaven’s majesty;
She is fixed to blemished Earth.

Yet she makes do, and nigh past noon
When wavering shadows fall,
She adorns her slate with vibrant hues;
The dark curtain slowly palls.

But sadly as the day progresses
The muses must retire;
A surly wall does mother reach,
A broken string in Life’s great lyre;

Her brush can no more glean her mind
Melete dances out of reach;
Elusive as a firefly
In night’s expansive breach.

Yet as the sunlight slowly dwindles
And Night rears his starry face,
In hindsight does a mother drift
Where Time cannot erase:

She sees the triumph of the brush,
The grandeur of the pen;
She sees a child’s shining face-
She shall one day paint again.

lucidnightmares
05-23-2008, 03:32 PM
beautiful in every sense of the word.
this is a wonderful poem and very heartfelt, your soul is evident in this piece.
i`m speechless.

Louis Red
05-23-2008, 04:11 PM
vapid, although not entirely loathe-worthy poetry is brought through exquisite and eloquent language, further modulated for processing and then brought through a general word filter that contrasts the beauty and elegance of the word itself with rhetoric clarity enclosing organic digestion of melodic language. comments regarding the flow of vanguardian poetry are irrelevant themselves;

JBI
05-24-2008, 02:23 PM
The uneven line lengths seem to jarr the reading.