Office etiquettes

[Madhuri]

How do you address your co-workers?

I have come across one version which is practiced in England.

Woman to man -- Hello Dear?
Man to woman -- Hello Darling?

Is that the manner of addressing in England?

I am a bit confused, because, Hello Dear is fine, but, no one here in India uses the word Darling when addressing a co-worker.

What is the general practice in other countries?

[papayahed]

In my experience nobody uses Dear or Darling in the work place. I will occasionally call the maintenance guys "Sweet pea" when I want them to do something for me but I would never use that in the office.

[Madhuri]

Yeah, I was asking my brother about this a while ago, he works in the US, and he told me that there always the name is used.

About addressing like that in England, there is this guy in my office who has come back from London some months back, he one day started calling me Hello Darling.

It was very awkward, I asked him what is this Darling thing? He said that you are not familiar with the way people address each other in London, and they are referred like what I mentioned in OP. I didnt know that, and I was like okay, maybe that is the case. Anyhow, I am now realising that he doesnt address anyother girl like that. It is bothering me as well, and that it sends wrong signals to people.

[Nyu001]

I just say hello. I don't like to use words like dear, darling, love, etc. with other people. All those words are restricted for just one person. :P

[Pensive]

It was very awkward, I asked him what is this Darling thing? He said that you are not familiar with the way people address each other in London, and they are referred like what I mentioned in OP.

:lol:

He seems to be kidding.


Anyhow, I am now realising that he doesnt address anyother girl like that. It is bothering me as well, and that it sends wrong signals to people.

Yeah, I can understand. That sounds quite awkward. He either seems to be just flirting around or might have an actual interest in you but this doesn't seem like a good way to show that...

As for the office etiquettes, I don't think it's a usual way to refer to coworkers in this way here. In fact in some places it might be enough to earn a guy a hard slap from a girl in some places over here. :p

[novelsryou]

I think in the US it might be a good way to get fired.

[kasie]

:lol:

As for the office etiquettes, I don't think it's a usual way to refer to coworkers in this way here. In fact in some places it might be enough to earn a guy a hard slap from a girl in some places over here. :p

In some places it might cost the man his job - there are laws in UK about sexual harassment in the work place. If the woman asks the man to stop referring to her as 'dear' or 'darling' and he doesn't, she can ask the management to warn him about his behaviour; if he persists and ignores the warning process (verbal warnings followed by written warnings) he can be dismissed. And yes, it does cause all sorts of problems - the man could claim unfair dismissal and take the case to a Tribunal, it gets reported in the newspapers, the woman is accused of over-reacting, not having a sense of humour etc, etc, etc

It works the other way round too - you can't risk calling a man 'Sweet Pea' over here. :D

[papayahed]

In some places it might cost the man his job - there are laws in UK about sexual harassment in the work place. If the woman asks the man to stop referring to her as 'dear' or 'darling' and he doesn't, she can ask the management to warn him about his behaviour; if he persists and ignores the warning process (verbal warnings followed by written warnings) he can be dismissed. And yes, it does cause all sorts of problems - the man could claim unfair dismissal and take the case to a Tribunal, it gets reported in the newspapers, the woman is accused of over-reacting, not having a sense of humour etc, etc, etc

It works the other way round too - you can't risk calling a man 'Sweet Pea' over here. :D

So then should I stop making them work without shirts also?

[kasie]

So then should I stop making them work without shirts also?

Er - yes.....




You don't work in that office in the Coke advert (or was it Pepsi?) where all the women stopped work to drool over the hunk working on the building site next door, do you?

[Shalot]

How you address your coworkers depends on the environment you're in and how comfortable you are with the people you work with. My husband started a job with our local utility a few months ago, and he was on a bus tour around town to all the company facilities for newbies. He came home and told me one of the guys made a comment about his "hot body" on the bus and it was very awkward. The other people on the bus even raised some eyebrows, and there was dead silence after that remark. No one knew how to take it because they didn't know the guy and didn't know what his point was. Either the guy was socially retarded or blatantly hitting on him - whichever it was, it was inappropriate. My husband has a pretty good gaydar and he wasn't sure what was happening there, and he was mightly uncomfortable (my husband can tell gay guys from straigtht guys almost immediately, whereas I don't know unless the guy in question is "hairstylist gay." I hope I am not being offensive - I'm just trying to say that I don't know what someone is about unless they're wearing on their sleave).

My husband also told me that the guy would go into his cubicle and sit next to his keyboard to chat. My husband left that job and went back to his old one. My husband hated that office anyway, so I don't know if that guy was directly responsible or not, but I just think it's best to just not say anything that could be construed as flirting at work.

It's different if you've been there a while, and you know the people before you start with any joking "hot body" remarks. In fact, I don't think I've ever been in a situation at work where I would be comfortable commenting on anyone's hot body...

I don't know why that's such a difficult concept for some people to grasp.

[jgweed]

In the US, such terms could easily be considered sexual harassment, and both the individual and the company could be held accountable legally.
Businesses here usually prefer the use of first names in addressing co-workers, and Mr. Lastname when addressing superiors of a much higher grade level (although more and more the latter distinction is disappearing in favor of the former).

[djy78usa]

I've a question that is along the same line as the original. When you are responding to an email from a woman, but you are unsure whether she is a "Mrs." or a "Ms.," how should you address her? Most of the time, the email is from someone else in the military, so I just use their rank, but I'm always confused about civilians. I usually go with "Ma'am," but I know some younger women don't like that. What do you think?

[Niamh]

Argh! I HATE being called Ma'am. I get it all the time in the airport from americans. Its become a pet hate. In Ireland Mam is reserved for your mother. Its always, "Excuse me Ma'am, but do you know where the restrooms are?" or "...can you tell me where my flights going from?" (check the bloody screens!!!!)
In Ireland its all first name basis. When you are comfortable with some of the people you work with, sometimes you end up with a pet name. I get called Niamheen, Niamhie and Niamhianna in work. One of the DM's calls me Niamho and i HATE that. I also dont like him calling my that because i dont really like him. Sticking an O at the end ones name is a real dublin thing (mainly guys names), and something i'm not fond of. Everyones Jacko, Charlo, Rayo, Deano, Steo etc.

[Shalot]

Argh! I HATE being called Ma'am. I get it all the time in the airport from americans. Its become a pet hate. In Ireland Mam is reserved for your mother. Its always, "Excuse me Ma'am, but do you know where the restrooms are?" or "...can you tell me where my flights going from?" (check the bloody screens!!!!)
In Ireland its all first name basis. When you are comfortable with some of the people you work with, sometimes you end up with a pet name. I get called Niamheen, Niamhie and Niamhianna in work. One of the DM's calls me Niamho and i HATE that. I also dont like him calling my that because i dont really like him. Sticking an O at the end ones name is a real dublin thing (mainly guys names), and something i'm not fond of. Everyones Jacko, Charlo, Rayo, Deano, Steo etc.

I hate being called Ma'am and I'm American. I hate getting from the youngins especially. I guess that means I look old. :bawling:

[Madhuri]

Here also there is a culture of saying Sir and Ma'am; even is e-mails people write Dear Sir / Ma'am. Although, the corporate culture doesnt promote it, it is insisted that name be used, in some companies it is practiced and in some like mine it is not.

I too am old, so many people call me Aunty... Aunty?? Why Aunty?? :bawling: I am not even married ..... :bawling:

[kasie]

I too am old, so many people call me Aunty... Aunty?? Why Aunty?? :bawling: I am not even married ..... :bawling:

Wait till they call you 'Grandma' ! Now that really is an Insult with a Capital I. :D

Personally I don't dislike being called Ma'am - at least it shows a measure of respect. I don't mind being addressed as Ms unless I've already written a letter and made it clear that I am Mrs but I really get annoyed at letters that begin Dear Mrs Kay Corke - it's bad enough knowing the letter is computer generated but that's just idleness in not setting the fields correctly.

[Niamh]

Dear Sir/ Madam, are the generics of letter writing if you know the person you are writing to's sex, but not their name. If you are unsure altogether, its usually To Whom It May Concern.

[kilted exile]

How do you address your co-workers?

I have come across one version which is practiced in England.

Woman to man -- Hello Dear?
Man to woman -- Hello Darling?

Is that the manner of addressing in England?

I am a bit confused, because, Hello Dear is fine, but, no one here in India uses the word Darling when addressing a co-worker.

What is the general practice in other countries?

Wherever you found that must have been pretty old, dont think anyone would've used that except '70s at the latest.

Where I work it is first names or no name at all.

[AimusSage]

Yeah, here it is also mostly on a first name basis, although it does vary from company to company. It has to do with a company's background, origin, type of business etc. Generally companies here tend to have a somewhat informal atmosphere though.

[amanda_isabel]

I'm a student but basing from observation with the teacher and everything they call each other Ma'am / Sir (first name) or Mr. / Ms. / Mrs. (last name). They have a lot of pet names for each other though, especially those who've been around for a decade upward.

My mom is in the academe too. Her co-teachers have different ways of addressing her; fellow senior faculty, and thus really close friends, call her by her first name while younger and newer faculty members call her Ma'am (since a lot of them may have been her students a few years back).

My dad, on the other hand, is in Human Resources in Banking and is a lot older than a lot of his officemates, thus is addressed as Sir.

As made apparent, age matters around here, especially since usually age means you've been around the company or the industry a long time (and have the credentials for it).

As far as 'dear' or 'darling' does, just tell him off. :D

I really don't mind being adressed as "Ma'am" since around here kids kinda get ignored so at least when i get the Ma'am thing I've got their respect.. There was this one time when a relativey new (well, I hadn;t seen her around till then) teacher at school adressed me as Ma'am, lol. Well.

[Nightshade]

How do you address your co-workers?

I have come across one version which is practiced in England.

Woman to man -- Hello Dear?
Man to woman -- Hello Darling?

Is that the manner of addressing in England?

I am a bit confused, because, Hello Dear is fine, but, no one here in India uses the word Darling when addressing a co-worker.

What is the general practice in other countries?

Well let's see I don't exactly work in an office environment but Ive been called duck, love, chuck, dear, ...mostly by customers though... then again I also have a rather demented boss who loves to chase me around and tickle me till I'm screaming, bless her.
When I volunteered at the charity shop there was a woman there who called everyone 'me lover' it was rather disconcerting at first.


Argh! I HATE being called Ma'am. I get it all the time in the airport from americans. Its become a pet hate. In Ireland Mam is reserved for your mother. Its always, "Excuse me Ma'am, but do you know where the restrooms are?" or "...can you tell me where my flights going from?" (check the bloody screens!!!!)
In Ireland its all first name basis. When you are comfortable with some of the people you work with, sometimes you end up with a pet name. I get called Niamheen, Niamhie and Niamhianna in work. One of the DM's calls me Niamho and i HATE that. I also dont like him calling my that because i dont really like him. Sticking an O at the end ones name is a real dublin thing (mainly guys names), and something i'm not fond of. Everyones Jacko, Charlo, Rayo, Deano, Steo etc.
be thankful there isnt a song that includes your name.... having people call you by lines of song :cold:

I HATE being called lady.. if there is anything that gets on my nerves...


Wherever you found that must have been pretty old, dont think anyone would've used that except '70s at the latest.

Where I work it is first names or no name at all.
I dont know about that kilted, at work ok not really but even Im guilty of dropping the occasional dears into conversation, :D

[Niamh]

:lol: My sister has a friend from secondary school whose father always had to find a song with the daughters friends names in it. thank GOD he could never think of one for me! :p
Poor you though!
I think we all stick the old dear, pet, sweetie, hon etc into discussions sometimes. (esp when you want something! :p)