Bullet With My Name

[vitaminsoad]

hey, I am new here, so sorry if i do something wrong. I have a lot of poems and will post here some, i just want you to know that im far not english speaking person, so my poems have some unexplainable lines and mistakes, but as far as it is poem, it is creation and i dont give a damn about mistakes.


Bullet With My Name


Bullet with my name,
Is coming to me fast.
Bullet with my name,
Wants to reach me last.
Why are you always so far?
Maybe you are afraid.
Why are you always so far?
Maybe you are not ready to wait.

But bullet will catch me anyway,
There is nothing to be afraid.
All i need is to live this day,
And know that you are ready to wait.

When death will finally come and take me,
I don’t want you to know.
But seems it all is a cause of destiny,
I’m just next one in chosen row.

Bullet with my name,
Is coming to me fast.
Bullet with my name,
Want’s to make from me dust.
Why are you always so far?
Maybe you are afraid.
Why are you always so far?
Maybe you are not ready to wait.

We always are paying for our sins,
With the shot in our heart.
That we are not guilty doesn’d matter seems,
We are not first tryting to see the lord.

When I will be finally gone,
I hope you will not forget me.
When the bullet will hit me down,
I don’t want you to see.




Bullet with my name,
Is coming to me fast.
Bullet with my name,
Wants to reach me last.
Why are you always so far?
Maybe you are afraid.
Why are you always so far?
Maybe you are not ready to wait.

Crying people calculated in the row,
Flying bullet will get all of them down.
These were not first ones but not the last,
Flying bullet want’s to make from me dust.


this is just my last, not my best.

[PrinceMyshkin]

hey, I am new here, so sorry if i do something wrong. I have a lot of poems and will post here some, i just want you to know that im far not english speaking person, so my poems have some unexplainable lines and mistakes, but as far as it is poem, it is creation and i dont give a damn about mistakes.

Not meaning to offend you but I think you ought to care about mistakes because this line


Wants to reach me last.

means the opposite of what I think you intend and would mean something altogether different if it read


Wants to reach me at last.

Apart from mistakes, in my opinion the poem is much too long. You've made your point - and made it well - after the first few stanzas. After that you just repeat your point and the effect grows more and more weak.

[vitaminsoad]

well, poem is original, it is like thought from writer, so there shouldnt be big discussion about mistakes, it should make people think.

man, that was not a mistake, that was as it was thought. i wrote what i wanted, maybe it is wrong, but it is how i would say it in life and this is how i know is right. as i know, "at last" and "last" have completely different meanings, and in this case, i used "last" dont think that i would make such mistake, it was meant so.

it is not too long man... maybe it is for poem, but this is meant as song. all i write is meant to be song.