TexJR
05-14-2008, 04:14 PM
This is possibly one of my best/worst short stories I'm writing. I currently have two. A Soldier's Tale and A New Generation. Tell me what you think so far.
Drip. Drip. Drip. The rain forest was well known for the high humidity three hundred sixty five days a year. The sun hung high in the vast blue sea of a sky. Patches of bleach white clouds lay strung out in spots of the sky like fishing trollers pulling in caught fish. The forest lay between the drop zone and Voi with a road trailing through the desert and parts of the rain forest as well. Like a shark in the ocean, the USNC Frigate Alexander, the fastest, most deadly ship in the ¬Second Assault Fleet, hovered over a cleared spot of the forest surrounding the outskirts of Voi. Pelican drop ships entered and exited the two hangers simultaneously like bees in a hive.
One dropship, Shadow of Anubis, painted completely in jet black, painted with the head of a jackal on the roof with gold trim, landed in the motor pool carrying the 105th Recon Unit Gamma ODST Division. Hissing like the release of oxygen from an O2 tank, the cabin door lowered revealing the ten man marine unit dressed in regulation black armor. One man stood forward carrying a rucksack, two M6G Magnums clipped to the thighs, an MA5C Assault rifle strapped to the sack, and a BR55H Battle Rifle in hand, stepped off the ramp and took one look around before waving his hand forward. Nine other men dressed in similar fashion dropped to the ground and formed up in two straight lines.
Two warthogs rolled by, one of them a troop carrier, stopped fifteen feet from the massive dropship. The chain gun equipped warthog parked in front of the troop carrier while the driver of the other vehicle brought the vehicle to bare the left side to the ODST’s. The driver got out, wiped the dirt from his fatigues, straightened up then strode to the unit. He threw a crisp salute, which the leader returned slightly.
“Good to see you Major. I’m Ivans. Can’t give you my rank because of snipers. You know the deal.” Ivan’s informed extending his arm.
“Any other regulations I need to be informed of, Ivans?” the leader replied returning the handshake.
The leader removed the black helmet and nestled it under the nook of his arm. The leader, known for exterminating an outpost of Grunts on the oasis planet of Giza with only a combat knife and tooth picks, and also known for fending off the vicious Jackals on station Nefertiti orbiting Sigma Octanus IV while the refugees and crew escaped, smiled at Ivans and turned around.
“Lets go boys. We’ve got some grub to scrounge up.” Major Tirado Anderson said turning to his men. “Ivans. Where’s the barracks? I do believe we didn’t come all the way here from Alexander to waste away in this heat.”
“Yes Major. This way.” Ivans replied doing an about face and got back in the troop carrier.
Tirado grabbed his dropped rucksack and followed suit with the rest of the unit behind him. Moments after the Marine’s boarded, the warthog’s pulled away from the launch pad and sped down a winding road farther into the rain forest. The sky darkened as the Alexander passed over the foliage. The branches swayed back and forth by the invisible force from the ship. The troop carrier swerved around a stump and dodged a parked Mongoose ATV.
Five minutes passed as the warthogs swerved and dodged obstacles along the dirt road to the main branch of Camp New Hope. Tirado’s HUD (Heads up Display) blinked once as a new COM channel was accessed. The helmet display polarized to complete silver blotting out the scenery. A ghostly figurine appeared in the corner of the display; the camp main data base AI (Artificial Intelligence). The female figurine rippled into a woman wearing a black bushy dress with flowing brown hair. Her eyes cast a dark crimson glow about her figure.
“Good afternoon Major. Welcome to Camp New Hope.” The AI paused momentarily. “Your accommodations will be ready before you arrive at the barracks.”
“Thank you, Summer. Anything else?” Major Anderson replied taking a glance at the AI before depolarizing his faceplate.
“Yes Major. Your unit is being reassigned to the province of Voi. You are to relieve Tango Recon Unit.” Summer replied through his helmet speakers.
Tirado opened a channel to the rest of his men.
“You hear that boys? We’re taking over command in Voi.”
“Did you know that those sons a *****es get more leave then the squids in space?”
“Ramirez. Shut your gutter. We don't want to hear it.”
The private in the back of the troop transport shifted uneasily and laid his sniper rifle against the seat and slouched. No one liked being stuck in some city where law and order were dealt with an assault rifle, especially Voi.
“Sir. You’ll be arriving at the barracks momentarily.” Summer said nonchalantly.
“Thank you, Summer. All right boys, saddle up. We’re home.” Tirado said with a grin on his face.
The warthog slowed turned a right in a fork in the road then proceeded another mile down the road. A lightly guarded gate appeared up the road and the two warthogs stopped to be searched. The Marine guard ran a mirror under the vehicle all around the ‘Hog then slapped the back side of each one; a signal all-clear to go. The gate rose up and the warthogs took off spraying gravel and mud.
Tirado’s HUD turned another dark hue revealing a 3D map of Camp New Hope and the surrounding rainforest. X’s indicated the locations of LOTUS antitank mines that surrounded each side of the road. Zero’s indicated the flying patterns of drones and aerial reconnaissance drones. Three Hornets appeared above the silhouettes of the speeding warthogs.
“Major. Prepare to present your credentials to the base commander.” Ivans said over the roar of the engine.
The pockmarked oversized ATV’s finally passed another instacrete barricade then swerved to a grounding halt in the parade ground of New Hope. Tirado got out of the passenger seat lugging his rucksack and battle rifle. Ramirez was the next out and complained about how far the base was from Voi. The other eight members of the Recon Unit Gamma jumped out of the sides and stretched.
“This way please,” Summer said in Tirado’s earbud then painted a blue line in his helmet screen to the barracks.
“Hey Buttkis. Top bunk.”
“Like hell you do!” PFC Ryan Buttkis said slugging the marine in the arm.
“Quiet.” Tirado said coldly.
Two Pelican dropships painted black and silver hovered fifty feet in the air over the parade ground before one descended. The rear hatch opened and thirty other ODST’s exited the dropship. The other descended as the first took flight. Three Mongoose ATV’s were detached from the ship and three pilots dropped out of the bay and occupied them.
“I’m ready to eat. Where’s the damn chow hall?” A buff looking female ODST said loudly for his unit to hear.
“In due time Major.” Tirado replied.
“And who the hell put you in charge?” Major Sylvia Anderson replied; Tirado’s sister.
Tirado took off his helmet and smiled. “It’s good to see you too.”
Sylvia dropped her gear to the ground and smiled back. Several Hornets flew overhead whipping up dust clouds. Sylvia’s Polaroid sunglasses protected her eyes but the others in the compound suffered horribly with grit. Three warthog troop transports pulled up slowly.
“Major. These men will take your gear and stow it for you.” Summer’s sweet but dark voice whispered in his earbud.
Tirado stared at the lightly dressed Marine’s and nodded.
Drip. Drip. Drip. The rain forest was well known for the high humidity three hundred sixty five days a year. The sun hung high in the vast blue sea of a sky. Patches of bleach white clouds lay strung out in spots of the sky like fishing trollers pulling in caught fish. The forest lay between the drop zone and Voi with a road trailing through the desert and parts of the rain forest as well. Like a shark in the ocean, the USNC Frigate Alexander, the fastest, most deadly ship in the ¬Second Assault Fleet, hovered over a cleared spot of the forest surrounding the outskirts of Voi. Pelican drop ships entered and exited the two hangers simultaneously like bees in a hive.
One dropship, Shadow of Anubis, painted completely in jet black, painted with the head of a jackal on the roof with gold trim, landed in the motor pool carrying the 105th Recon Unit Gamma ODST Division. Hissing like the release of oxygen from an O2 tank, the cabin door lowered revealing the ten man marine unit dressed in regulation black armor. One man stood forward carrying a rucksack, two M6G Magnums clipped to the thighs, an MA5C Assault rifle strapped to the sack, and a BR55H Battle Rifle in hand, stepped off the ramp and took one look around before waving his hand forward. Nine other men dressed in similar fashion dropped to the ground and formed up in two straight lines.
Two warthogs rolled by, one of them a troop carrier, stopped fifteen feet from the massive dropship. The chain gun equipped warthog parked in front of the troop carrier while the driver of the other vehicle brought the vehicle to bare the left side to the ODST’s. The driver got out, wiped the dirt from his fatigues, straightened up then strode to the unit. He threw a crisp salute, which the leader returned slightly.
“Good to see you Major. I’m Ivans. Can’t give you my rank because of snipers. You know the deal.” Ivan’s informed extending his arm.
“Any other regulations I need to be informed of, Ivans?” the leader replied returning the handshake.
The leader removed the black helmet and nestled it under the nook of his arm. The leader, known for exterminating an outpost of Grunts on the oasis planet of Giza with only a combat knife and tooth picks, and also known for fending off the vicious Jackals on station Nefertiti orbiting Sigma Octanus IV while the refugees and crew escaped, smiled at Ivans and turned around.
“Lets go boys. We’ve got some grub to scrounge up.” Major Tirado Anderson said turning to his men. “Ivans. Where’s the barracks? I do believe we didn’t come all the way here from Alexander to waste away in this heat.”
“Yes Major. This way.” Ivans replied doing an about face and got back in the troop carrier.
Tirado grabbed his dropped rucksack and followed suit with the rest of the unit behind him. Moments after the Marine’s boarded, the warthog’s pulled away from the launch pad and sped down a winding road farther into the rain forest. The sky darkened as the Alexander passed over the foliage. The branches swayed back and forth by the invisible force from the ship. The troop carrier swerved around a stump and dodged a parked Mongoose ATV.
Five minutes passed as the warthogs swerved and dodged obstacles along the dirt road to the main branch of Camp New Hope. Tirado’s HUD (Heads up Display) blinked once as a new COM channel was accessed. The helmet display polarized to complete silver blotting out the scenery. A ghostly figurine appeared in the corner of the display; the camp main data base AI (Artificial Intelligence). The female figurine rippled into a woman wearing a black bushy dress with flowing brown hair. Her eyes cast a dark crimson glow about her figure.
“Good afternoon Major. Welcome to Camp New Hope.” The AI paused momentarily. “Your accommodations will be ready before you arrive at the barracks.”
“Thank you, Summer. Anything else?” Major Anderson replied taking a glance at the AI before depolarizing his faceplate.
“Yes Major. Your unit is being reassigned to the province of Voi. You are to relieve Tango Recon Unit.” Summer replied through his helmet speakers.
Tirado opened a channel to the rest of his men.
“You hear that boys? We’re taking over command in Voi.”
“Did you know that those sons a *****es get more leave then the squids in space?”
“Ramirez. Shut your gutter. We don't want to hear it.”
The private in the back of the troop transport shifted uneasily and laid his sniper rifle against the seat and slouched. No one liked being stuck in some city where law and order were dealt with an assault rifle, especially Voi.
“Sir. You’ll be arriving at the barracks momentarily.” Summer said nonchalantly.
“Thank you, Summer. All right boys, saddle up. We’re home.” Tirado said with a grin on his face.
The warthog slowed turned a right in a fork in the road then proceeded another mile down the road. A lightly guarded gate appeared up the road and the two warthogs stopped to be searched. The Marine guard ran a mirror under the vehicle all around the ‘Hog then slapped the back side of each one; a signal all-clear to go. The gate rose up and the warthogs took off spraying gravel and mud.
Tirado’s HUD turned another dark hue revealing a 3D map of Camp New Hope and the surrounding rainforest. X’s indicated the locations of LOTUS antitank mines that surrounded each side of the road. Zero’s indicated the flying patterns of drones and aerial reconnaissance drones. Three Hornets appeared above the silhouettes of the speeding warthogs.
“Major. Prepare to present your credentials to the base commander.” Ivans said over the roar of the engine.
The pockmarked oversized ATV’s finally passed another instacrete barricade then swerved to a grounding halt in the parade ground of New Hope. Tirado got out of the passenger seat lugging his rucksack and battle rifle. Ramirez was the next out and complained about how far the base was from Voi. The other eight members of the Recon Unit Gamma jumped out of the sides and stretched.
“This way please,” Summer said in Tirado’s earbud then painted a blue line in his helmet screen to the barracks.
“Hey Buttkis. Top bunk.”
“Like hell you do!” PFC Ryan Buttkis said slugging the marine in the arm.
“Quiet.” Tirado said coldly.
Two Pelican dropships painted black and silver hovered fifty feet in the air over the parade ground before one descended. The rear hatch opened and thirty other ODST’s exited the dropship. The other descended as the first took flight. Three Mongoose ATV’s were detached from the ship and three pilots dropped out of the bay and occupied them.
“I’m ready to eat. Where’s the damn chow hall?” A buff looking female ODST said loudly for his unit to hear.
“In due time Major.” Tirado replied.
“And who the hell put you in charge?” Major Sylvia Anderson replied; Tirado’s sister.
Tirado took off his helmet and smiled. “It’s good to see you too.”
Sylvia dropped her gear to the ground and smiled back. Several Hornets flew overhead whipping up dust clouds. Sylvia’s Polaroid sunglasses protected her eyes but the others in the compound suffered horribly with grit. Three warthog troop transports pulled up slowly.
“Major. These men will take your gear and stow it for you.” Summer’s sweet but dark voice whispered in his earbud.
Tirado stared at the lightly dressed Marine’s and nodded.