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lucidnightmares
05-05-2008, 09:31 PM
when every thought ends with a question mark
and all we can do is just play out our parts

we ask and ask without expecting answers
ideas twirling round like mechanical dancers

and you`ll question reality without thinking
you can`t have a good time without drinking

really on others and their creations
and all they say is "congratulations"

praise for ignorance, for it spawns bliss
and bliss begets sorrow soon to missed

these thoughts flow like a winding river
the idea of knowledge makes me quiver

for knowledge is just a lie with approval
like a caner just waiting for removal

question marks pollute our minds
useless answers we may never find

but we wait and search, hide and seek
only to find our muse has gone meek

Pendragon
05-06-2008, 06:11 PM
Something about your last line doesn't scan right, there's a break in the flow or something...

lucidnightmares
05-07-2008, 05:58 AM
ah thank you for your honesty
this definitely isn`t my favorite, too rushed.
anyway`s thank you for your time and opinion, it is greatly appreciated.

wagravity
05-08-2008, 12:42 AM
dude, i really like how you wrote this poem, i like the meaning i took from. it just kinda seemed to go.

too rushed may be correct, needs some proof reading, but i knew what it was saying.

and i liked it

AuntShecky
05-08-2008, 01:42 PM
What's a "caner"?
Also, please remember to hit the shift key whenever you
write the first person singular, capital "I."

blazeofglory
05-08-2008, 09:09 PM
when every thought ends with a question mark
and all we can do is just play out our parts

we ask and ask without expecting answers
ideas twirling round like mechanical dancers

and you`ll question reality without thinking
you can`t have a good time without drinking

really on others and their creations
and all they say is "congratulations"

praise for ignorance, for it spawns bliss
and bliss begets sorrow soon to missed

these thoughts flow like a winding river
the idea of knowledge makes me quiver

for knowledge is just a lie with approval
like a caner just waiting for removal

question marks pollute our minds
useless answers we may never find

but we wait and search, hide and seek
only to find our muse has gone meek

I am indeed moved by your poem and it is really beautiful and I like the way you honestly wrote about truth. A truth that knowledge is an approved lie.