Ode to my mother

[dibyendra]

She speaks softly with her soothing voice into my ear,
enlivening my dead desires and pacifying my surreal fears.
There's no gift like a mother to a son;
Mother must be a preordained gift from heavens.
A child crawls for nine months in its mother's womb,
and it shivers me ma, how you resisted the gnawing pain
while giving birth to your delicate offspring.
In your affectionate cuddle, and in your warm lap,
I feel like I had slept for a hundred years,
where I rejoiced, I cried, and I grew up with you,
listening to your lullaby and fairy tales.
I know I was a restless child causing you lots of trouble,
but no one is so much forgiving like a mother.
Thank you ma for feeding me your nurturing sublime potion.
I'm forever indebted to your subtle touch and for your humble affection.

* I would like to thank PrinceMyshkin for providing valuable suggestions.

This is a first draft and I thought to share here in Litnet to hear comments about this poem about mother. Your comment, and constructive criticism will be highly appreciated.

[PrinceMyshkin]

This is a first draft and I thought to share here in Litnet to hear comments about this poem about mother. Your comment, and constructive criticism will be highly appreciated.

It's very touching and I hope, when you have finished it, that you will show it to her. There are a few grammatical mistakes which I've corrected in red:


She speaks softly with her soothing voice into my ear,
enlivening my dead desires and pacifying my surreal fears.
There's no gift like a mother to a son;
Mother must be a preordained gift from the either omit "the" or change "heaven" to "heavens" heaven.
Add "A" or "The"Child crawls for nine months in add "its" or "his or her" mother's womb,
and it shivers me ma, how you resisted the gnawing pain
while giving birth to your delicate offspring.
In your affectionate cuddle, and in your warm lap,
I feel like I had slept for a hundred years,
where I rejoiced, I cried, and I grew up with you,
listening to your lullaby and fairy tales.
I know I was a restless child causing you lots of trouble,
but no one is so much forgiving like a mother.
Thank you ma for feeding me your nurturing sublime potion.
I'm forever indebted to your subtle touch and for your humble affection.

Lovely!

[firefangled]

Dibyendra, as always your poems are very heartfelt. Other than what Prince has pointed out, I would say your mother will love this.

[dibyendra]

It's very touching and I hope, when you have finished it, that you will show it to her. There are a few grammatical mistakes which I've corrected in red:
Lovely!

Thanks a lot Prince for your rectification to this draft and providing this poem a comment! Your help is very much appreciated! As soon as I finish this poem in English version, I'll translate it into my native language because she only understand native language. :)

[dibyendra]

Dibyendra, as always your poems are very heartfelt. Other than what Prince has pointed out, I would say your mother will love this.
Thanks a lot Fire for your comment! Yes, I'll show her after finishing this poem, but first, I need to translate this poem into my native language as she don't understand English. :)