Animal

[sparr0w]

Do you know craving?
Honestly, can you remember how it smells?
It fills your head with promises.
The smell of sweet roses on the horizon so far away,
like distant voices
begging for a chance revisit.
The things you chase
with no intention of ever catching.
The things you seek
and hope to never find.
These creatures live
just beyond your reach
and in your wildest fantasies alone.
It lies somewhere between desire and need,
and kills as an animal kills-
out of hunger and desperation.
Blindly.
Without discrimination,
remorse or pity or second thoughts.
Animal.
Animal.

*As always, friends, all and any comments greatly appreciated, including criticism, as long as it's constructive. Thank you so much for reading ;)

[blazeofglory]

Fabulous, fantastic. I like the way you wrote. your dimensions of thought are beyond the real. It is phantasmal.

You want to present a reality that is unreal. Maybe this is possible extraordinarily. We are handcuffed to ideas, and fail to reach a dimension of thinking you presented herein.

Indeed this is beautifully said. I got moved speechlessly.

[caelycate]

i really love this. it is very unique, which is always refreshing. i have read some of your other stuff as well and i just really like the way you write!

keep on keeping on!

[sparr0w]

Thank you so much for your feedback, and I am so grateful this was so well received. I am still "teaching myself" to write since I got clean. It is a strangely foreign approach for me, and begs much more concentration and time than previously, where I would generally crank something out in two or three minutes and post it without thought. These days, unfortunately (though possibly to my benefit), it requires of me much more thought and time, though the process is slowly becoming more fluid over time. Blaze- Thank you so much for your repeated good reviews written so well, you could compile your reviews and comments across these boards alone and compile of them an epic. Also, I do hope you don't take offense to me shortening your name to "Blaze", but these tired fingers do get lazy indeed! And to Caelycate- Thank you so much for your loving (as well as flattering) review! I love new readers, and am curious (for my sake much more than yours) which other of my writings you have read... I very much value having my own style, and have compiled quite a list of good friends from these boards of ambiguous faces which in this "real" world would have remained as faceless strangers I would have passed in the street. How amazing the power of shifted perspective is! I am also curious, if you don't mind me asking, as to your name, "caelycate". I have a few theories, but if you re-check these boards, I would love a good story as to its origin! Anyways, thanks to both of you, and many wishes that more reviews are to come. Peace- Chris

[firefangled]

You so like to show the thin wire we walk over various precipices.

The last two lines got me like a set of jaws.

[sparr0w]

firefangled- Thank you for your as always high praise. Oh, and yes, those last two lines were very much meant to, as you put it, get you like "a set of jaws". They were meant to impart, if it had not already been done, a harsh sense of hostlilty toward this impulse, or "craving". Even a kind of resentment, or, dare I say it, a hatred (and I don't use that word lightly). I am grateful that you were able to see and sight the observation, so I know it got across. Thank you again! Peace- Chris

[PrinceMyshkin]

Because I was slow to get to this, several others have given it the praise that I would have done, that it so richly deserves. It reads more as if it were torn, strip by strip, from your skin rather than having been written. Although it is such a tight, seamless whole, these lines especially stood out for me:



The things you chase
with no intention of ever catching.
The things you seek
and hope to never find.

[symphony]

These lines, i think, are raw and telling.
and kills as an animal kills-
out of hunger and desperation.
Blindly.
Without discrimination,
remorse or pity or second thoughts.
Animal.
Animal.
Its marvelous, sparrow. And comes without warning.
:thumbs_up

[Lulya]

good poem ..really

I enjoyed reading it :)

[lucidnightmares]

an obscure thought, especially this line, which is my favorite...

"The things you chase
with no intention of ever catching.
The things you seek
and hope to never find."

reminds me of thoughts that constantly cross my mind.

but that`s already been said.

I guess i`m alittle late, however i get a sense of tribalism out of this, our animal instincts will allways remain, even if we achieve a higher state of mind or more social development. We often forget that we too are animals and this reminded me of that
an inspirational piece and really got my mind working.

[naomi moon]

it's beautiful, well said.