custody

[amuse]

nineteen times two
equals zero

we fight over those years
no
over the years
we loved now
we battle for the
memories
who gets custody, whose view will prevail
will you keep
christmas 2000
can we trade for that
summer night
who won
that fight

(why did we care)

would joint custody
work or is it too
hard to share,
will this come down
to "no,
this is mine"
or just "you can have it
i never liked."

like abandoned children,
forgotten babes,
do they cry to be cherished
are they forlorn?
should we treasure these
moments though
we've left them behind?

i couldn't say,
i've become old.

i forget why i turned
on the light.

[mono]

Beautiful poem, ugly subject - custody; it seems a part of my childhood I enjoy ignoring. Well done, amuse. Your poetry never ceases to amaze me; a poet should never have fear of his/her subjects, and you demonstrate that quite well.

[Helga]

great, as always. is this about your life or just thoughts you had? I wish I had your talent, or at least a part of it...

[amuse]

i had a very hard last week. my bf and i love each other but after more than a decade, still have probs listening, sharing. because it was driving me beserk, well crazy to be honest, i broke up with him. hardest thing, i've done in my life. hardest days i've lived in my life. we agreed on the break-up.
as it turns out, after finding out what it was like to be old, walk like an old woman, have no motivation for anything at all, being rescued by friends, considering antidepressives things looked up. and i looked at what i could do with the rest of my life. at which point, we finally began to communicate. an interesting twist of fate....

sorry for being long-winded, i'm getting to the explanation.

anyway, in the midst of everything, i took stock, started thinking about all the memories we shared. and our different takes on them, and who would get "custody" of them

meaning, would they be forgotten? would they be remembered hatefully, lovingly, or even at all... and whose view would prevail after the years had gone by.

though come to think of it, my folks got divorced when i was little, and one of my good friends is going through a whole problem with her ex and their kids. so it's relevant on a few levels...

hope that wasn't too long-winded?

you're so nice to me, Helga. thank you.

[mono]

Oh, amuse, I offer my greatest condolences, and especially so near the holidays; I cannot say how sorry I am to hear your news. Artists, especially poets, I believe always endure the greatest pains, but, in a way, I feel that makes them great - their tolerance, patience, and wisdom. I hope everything works out to both you and your boyfriend's advantage, and that you can both still live the happiest of lives.

[amuse]

thank you, nurse mono. :) i so appreciate your kind words.

[Helga]

I hope things will work out for you, and you will find happyness, we all will in the end, if were not happy it's not the end.

[amuse]

yeah...so true.

it's okay. like i said we're talking again. like taking time to listen. it's really hard after all this time not to finish someone's sentences, to remember you really don't know their thoughts. so i think maybe(?) that's part of the key here. just slowing down a bit, paying attention.

[seeker]

i stand gratefull for having read this poem. thank you amuse.

[Helga]

I am glad you are talking if that makes you happy...

I heard this about being happy in the end in some movie and it comforts me to think about it, you should try it when your blue...

[Isagel]

Sorry to hear that.

It seems unfair that your pain brings beauty to us. I really like your poem.

On the radio they are playing Van Morrison "Days like this". If you were here I would make you thea with honey. I´m sure you will be fine, and that you will find a what to do, one thing at the time. And while you are , you are going to write us great poems.

If you like you can always pm.
We can have virtual thea.